i'm raising my hands in BGR classroom. *cher cher, here here* ;) but i must must stress first that this is a genuine genuine question- not a post-mortem investigation of any sort. i have graduated from my last class :pHow does it work in a relationship? When you operate in the paradigm of love- which is other-centered and self-abassing, you guide your actions in light of and in the best interest of the other person. And so your focus will be on him/her. But yet there is that "be yourself" so both will get to know the real person he/she is and connect at that level. That however, when not governed by love, can be potentially self-exalting and domineering as well. So how does one reconcile the two identities in the relationship? When people say couples becoming more like each other- does that arise because both are focused on each other & gradually in some strange way meet mid-way?
i used to think that there is always the natural inclination to be selfish and imposing, so i work on the other-centeredness part. There is no need to "be myself" because "me" will always rise up subconciously. In moments of weaknesses, "me" will cause hurt to the other person. The times when i'm prickly porcupine- that is definitely me all right. But on good days when i can be as considerate & sweet (*puke*) i can possibly be? Is that me? I reconcile that as part of my outworking to be a Christian lady, my duty to Christ, or rather Christ working in me. But is that a hindrance to personal connection? i am quite confused.
I want to extrapolate this to the model between Christ and His church. Are we not taught to die to ourselves and be Christ centered? We need not be taught to be self-centered, but constantly reminded to love others as ourselves. And is the Holy Spirit not working in us to bring us to the fullness of Christ, to be like Him? And if earthly relationships are a foreshadow of that, how now brown cow?
Wise words when they say relationship is an art and never a science. But the Bible gives us a simple formula didnt it? Not easy to live it out definitely, but the principle is there isnt it? Hmm.. *scratch head*
3 comments:
You know, at the end of the day, nobody who "graduates from the class" as you like to put it, actually says they've done so. Only those dying to do so keep on telling others they have.
Not telling you to shut up and act like those who do, just something for you to think abt.
*winks*
Bleah! Well the humble one of course knows that she will have to take a lifetime to learn it all, but i mean graduating from the previous class la, ah duh. At least i FEEL i've learnt a thing or two, am initiated into the world of complex BGR and a tat wiser now :p REBORN!
A TAD wiser, not a tat...
Time to sign up now for english class... Hehz...
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