Happy 13th Birthday, Mya!

Dearest sweet Mya, my teenage daughter, “I’m so glad we live in a world where there are Octobers”. I’ve so enjoyed putting together your Anne of Green Gables movie birthday party with Olivia, Aria and Jenna;  and watching Miss Congeniality (your first PG13 movie!) with you to celebrate. Thank you for sharing your birthday weekend with Matt and Diana’s visit even if you did not know them, and picking Daruma for your birthday dinner.

I’m ever so thankful to God that you’re ours, and we get the front row seat to watch how God is growing you. Your big and small questions about theology, politics and the world, love for your friends and youth group, desire to volunteer whether to the little cubbies or elderly or for the earth, willingness to pray, and deep empathy… I love the heart that He’s forming in you. I know that there will be some lessons that will just have to be learnt the hard way, and roads that you’ll have to travel for Him to get you there. It is my prayer that He’ll make you His and you’ll make Him yours, no matter what.

I know we put you through the ringer – being one of the very few in your circles for not having a phone, encouraging you audition for the school play only not to be cast, going to places and events where you’d rather not be at, wanting you to try something different every year (the Young Writer’s conference, what will the life of a wrestling manager be like?)… You’ve risen to every occasion, well almost. Dare to be different my dear girl, the world will want you to be like it, your heart that seeks approval will want to just fit in. But there’s too much at stake to just go with the flow. Stand on the firm foundation of Christ, stick to your convictions of what’s true and right; and fight for justice and love, then intentionally “become all things to all people, so that by all means we might save some… for the sake of the gospel” (1 Cor 9:22-23)

You’ve read more fiction books than I ever have and wrote many exciting essays (the suspense-filled fairy folk) that rolled the socks off your teachers. You’ve introduced me to new things that I otherwise would not have enjoyed. Whether it’s Jane Eyre or Persuasion, I love your thoughtful choice of heroines. Thank you for making me read your Anne books – though I average a miserly 1 a year, and re-experiencing Shakespeare! You also got me to know Corrie Ten Boom more with your “Hiding Place” book club. You’re the “girl-friend” that I get to do things with, whether it’s musicals like Les Miz or Hamilton, or concerts like Ellie & Drew Holcomb (with the fam) or Steven Curtis Chapman (with daddy), or fluffy rom-coms. I love your range for books, movies, songs, pop-culture, etc. Keep experiencing what literature, the arts and culture have to offer dear one, they’ll expand  your world and take you into worlds you otherwise would not have gone – even some painful, dark ones. But keep finding the light in them! I hope we finish “Till we have faces” this year!!

“I’m so glad I get to live in a world where there is my Mya Faith.” I love you so much, my precious daughter! We love you so very much, our teenage queen.

In the New York Subway

I was in the New York subway. Across from me, sat a man dressed in red. He started spewing profanities at the lady standing in front of him. He pushed her, and then she pushed him; and they started yelling at each other. At one point, she tried to get him off the train by holding it up; but nothing happened. Another passenger shouted at him to get off but to no avail. I looked at him, and at her, and all around, and then I looked down on my phone.

He did not seem unstable, but clearly not rationale either. He was playing video games on his phone, and was triggered the well dressed lady for some reason. He was not one to listen or be reasoned with, would me saying anything to him make a difference? Why yell at the gong to stop?

She stood her ground and did not back down. It would have been easier to walk away from the mad man. She probably felt betrayed by the train full of passengers, no one stood up for her, at least not soon enough. She stood alone. I wanted to say I’m sorry I did not stand up for her, or let her know that I was on her side. Would not engaging and changing cars be a sign of weakness and cowardice?

The witnesses heard them. But we were all by-standers. It was uncomfortable but we shrugged that off anyway. We understood why she held up the train – despite the inconvenience of delay; but we did nothing to get him off either. Were we weighing the cost of getting involved? Or playing things out in our head to what end? Did we not want to add fuel to the fire, or not care enough?

What I’d like to do when faced with this again, is to let her know she’s not alone, to at least plead with him to stop, and perhaps shine a little light amongst the silent crowd. 

Happy 10th Birthday, Elliot!

 Happy belated birthday, Elliot.

You’re 10 years old! How did the decade just fly us by.

I remember so vividly the first few days, when you came out all bruised. And then we had to return to the hospital again for your UV treatment for bilirubin. All the pricking on your little heel for the tests. Sometimes I wonder if those early days of physical scars somehow scarred your heart too.

This past year, you’ve given me so much and helped me grow. Though I sometimes feel inadequate and unsure if I’m doing right by you as your mother, I know that God has given us to each other and you drive me to Him. You keep me grounded and expose my sin, and remind me of my constant need of Jesus. I have fears and worries about how you’ll turn out, I can only pray that by His grace and mercy, He’ll save you and give you faith, so you’ll grow to be the man that God has made you to be – in the image of Christ and not anyone else. Even though you may in your outward appearance look like Gong Gong, you will be so different inwardly because Jesus stepped into our family tree.

Because of you, I actually understand and enjoy American football now – after more than 15 years of living here in the US! It amazes me how much you know and remember about the stats and players, how you love talking about it and playing with Daddy all the the time. And your first touch-down in the fall season. What a day that was! Your athleticism and passion for sports is something I admire. I pray you’ll grow more in sportsmanship and in the many lessons God can teach us through sports!

Your friendship with River and Luke is rather precious to me, and watching you play so easily with Brayden and other (6-7) kids warms my heart. Your exasperation with “bossy girls” makes me giggle, but you can be so sweet to them too. I pray you’ll grow to be a good friend like Jonathan was to David, and that God will bless you with godly friends who will spur you on toward love and good deeds.

You enjoy Jane Austen movies because of Mya, and I think K-pop demon hunters, Percy Jackson, Greek mythology, Zombies, Six the musical and boy bands were somewhat her influence too. Watching old videos of you both – you were always watching her, following her and wanting to copy her. Even some of your mannerisms, are mirror images of her. Love each other well, as you grow up together. Even though you like to press each other buttons, I pray that you’ll love one another all the days of your life.

You love to read, and are quite the reading machine. Whether it’s the Green Ember series, Harry Potter, graphic novels or the Action Bible, you get into the stories so much. I pray that the stories will help you see another point of view and step into the character’s shoes, to teach you empathy. And at the end of the day, to see His Story as the greatest adventure and love story of all.

You can be so tender hearted sometimes. Being sad when Spotty was lost, and wanting me to get you another Spotty. Adding Zeus the Panther and Puca the Ram to your bedtime buddies. Tearing up at the movie David. And then sometimes you can be such a tornado, ripping through your room! What is it that sets you off from 0 to 100, wouldn't you give us a chance to pause and talk? Thank you for the chance to circle back after the storm. I pray you'll grow in self-control and we can grow together in proportionate response. 

I love seeing you and Dad play. We both love you so much, and he loves you so so very well. Whether its soccer, football, basketball or hockey, you keep him moving! He works with you through your anger outbursts, reads to you, talks so patiently to you. I know it does not always feel like that, but I pray that as you look back on these days, you see a Dad who is lovingly devoted to provide a safe space for you to express all that you’re feeling, ask all that you’re wondering, and explore everything about manhood.

I’m sorry about the times when I lost my patience and my cool with you, or said things that might have hurt you. I pray that times of my intentional discipline will outnumber times when I was truly mad. Know that every no and correction, was done out of wanting the best for you. I love you so very much, son. You are part of this family, this tribe. There is nothing you did, do or will ever do, that will disqualify you ever – even you wanting out or running away.

We celebrated your double digit birthday at Bowlero with friends from church and school. I hope you had fun that day, and know that you have people around you who wants to celebrate with you – for you are fearfully and wonderfully made by Him. I love you, my little man.

“Blessed is the one who does not walk in step with the wicked, or stand in the way that sinner take, or sit in the company of mockers, but whose delight is in the law of the Lord, and who meditates on His law day and night. That person is a like a tree planted by streams of water ,which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither – whatever they do prospers. Not so the wicked! They are like chaff that the wind blows away. Therefore the wicked will not stand in the judgment, nor sinners in the assembly of the righteous. For the Lord watches over the way of the righteous, but the way of the wicked leads to destruction. ” ~ Psalm 1

Breaking the silence

 Not quite the first 2026 post I was envisioning. I haven’t even wrapped up 2025! I’ve been trying to figure out what to make out of everything that’s been swirling around the US, the news and my head right now. Here’s my little attempt to make sense of it.

Labels are lazy. I am not a Trump supporter. I’ll probably call myself apolitical, but I also recognize that we as Christians living in the world, need to thoughtfully engage as lights for Jesus. No one knows everything perfectly, only God does. So take these thoughts with a big grain of salt.

 

Immigration

"[God] defends the cause of the fatherless and the widow, and loves the foreigner residing among you, giving them food and clothing. So you, too, must show love to foreigners, for you yourselves were once foreigners in the land of Egypt" Deuteronomy 10:18-19

I understand the need to uphold the law and address undocumented immigrants. And the issues can be wide ranging – from criminals to productive workers who just need a chance to survive. The matter exists on both a macro and micro level. The US has been a country that has been founded on immigrants, welcomed foreigners, granted asylum, provided a refuge for refugees and continues to provide opportunities even though it has become harder. I don’t think it’s unreasonable for the law enforcers to enforce the law, and every country has the right to exert its sovereign right to welcome or turn out visitors. But I love the heart of so many who fights for the foreigner’s rights in this country. It displays the heart of God’s design. If the system wasn’t so broken, and people abuse them to an unsustainable level, wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could all do our part to feed and clothe those in need?  

 

When things go wrong

The recent casualties in MN is sad, but what has made it harder is how those in authority have handled it. I understand that law enforcers have somehow been villanized in recent years, and perhaps they acted out of fear and pent up frustration, but I believe they do not mean for these things to happen. When they do, the right thing to do is to admit wrong, engage in due process and bring about justice and closure the best they can. Not to spin tales, sweep things away, be high handed or use the law to cover things up. That is what causes the breakdown in trust.  Who will be a leader to admit when wrong has been done? There are accidents and casualties, and bad things happen to “good people”. We just need someone to speak the truth, take responsibility and do their best to right the wrong.

 

Venezuela

“He removes kings and sets up kings” Daniel 2:21

I was a little shocked when Maduro was captured – “can they do that?” But based on all that I’ve learnt about him, I was ok for the Venezuelan President to be captured to be brought to justice. He is a bad egg. If it takes Trump to do so, so be it. The question is whether the unknown devil will be better than the known one, and whether this could be an opportunity for the country to have hope for a better future or will it just be another corrupt ruler who will sink things lower.

 

Greenland

This just seems like another Trump hubris. He views it like a real estate deal, but is it really? What is behind this? Is there really threat from Russia and China?

 

Church

In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends" – MLK Jr.

It might have taken the Church and Christians to formulate her thoughts, leading to the long silence. It might have been fatigue of all the incessant fighting in social media over the last few years, that’s helped more to exercise restraint. I’ve been resistant posting anything on social media, as that’s not a helpful way to engage. But the silence can sometimes to take to mean something unintended. Hence this blog post.

And personally, I am jealous for the Church to be equipping her saints better to be cultural apologists. The place I go to for these things now is the TGC. How is the church equipping her saints to process these events? And if we don’t engage, how do we provide a defense for the faith that we hold onto?  That said, even if the local church has not responded to in the way I desire, will I abandon it? No! She is the Bride of Christ, and what holds us together is far more dear. Will I continue to struggle and stay in conversation and love, or will I write them off because of disappointments?

 

History

I want to acknowledge the fact that there are protests on these painful situations, is not a given. How much more evil is done in other countries and at other times, where alternative voices are never heard. Other evils do not reduce the pain and excuse wrong in this situation, but it’s sometimes helpful to put things in context that not all hope is lost.

 

Convictions

“The king’s heart is a stream of water in the hand of the Lord; He turns it wherever He will.” Proverbs 21:1

No matter the circumstances, and as little as I understand of what’s going on, I know my God is at work. He has placed the leaders where they are, to do His will. He has given each of us convictions, to do His will. May we be agents of peace and change for the greater good. May we seek God first and then to act. May we have courage to hope against hope, and fight to bring a glimpse of His Kingdom into this broken world.