Frappuccino Froth

The Mr and Mrs had a “debrief” after we both vented our frustrations the other day.

Arthur asked if I would add a disclaimer to the other blog entry, since a few things I said were untrue. I said no, since that’s what I heard, or rather what I thought I heard.

I also trusted that my matured readers would factor in the many things that can go wrong in a couple’s tiff, and give the weaker one of us the benefit of the doubt.

He probably had to swallow his pride at the thought of being misunderstood, but since he did not press the issue, I thought I might clear the air a little, since he was so gracious about it all. J

Insight did make a huge difference when he let me into his head.

Out of the positive energy he had that day, Arthur decided to go along with the flow, by not declining a Frappuccino order, which he usually does.

So it’s not because he was trying to read me by saying yes, and ordering something that he did not want. Yay!

Evidently, his order of the Vanilla Bean Grande was not because he was trying to read me. But I spurned his efforts, by suggesting that he did such a poor job of it in my earlier post. This really bothered him.

In his defense, he acknowledged that he had deliberately laid aside his usual tendencies to put my preferences over his, and ordered the thing that jumped out at him on the menu. It melted my heart when I heard him say “of course I want to honor your preferences. It’s how I want to love you, serve you and cherish you”. I guess I like it when he orders what I like, and also when he orders what he likes. That’s how we get to love and serve each other!

Five years in, and “still” we get tripped up by a simple coffee order. 

Nothing like a little spice now and then, to give us some reality check. To not take our marriage and each other for granted. To be confronted with how sinful and self-centered I am, when my preferences are not met. And in this case, how even the best of intentions can be so easily twisted in this broken world.

I’m all for conflicts, for when constructively resolved, they help us grow and love each other better. Paradise is a garden that needs watering, care and tons of hard work. 

Frappuccino Frustrations

And so the Mr and Mrs stood in front of the Starbucks counter, trying to decide what to order.

“What would you like?” I asked.

“How about a Frappuccino,” Arthur replied.
“Ok, what kind?”
“How about a Vanilla Bean, Grande?”

Game to try something different, the order was placed. I guess what we were both picturing was some kind of coffee Frappuccino with vanilla bean flavor. But we could not be more wrong, when we were handed this huge cup of white stuff.

A few sips later, the drink ended up in the bin. Not that it was bad, just not my thing and not worth the extra calories. And Arthur wasn’t interested in drinking it.

The “perfectly innocent” Frappuccino became the perfect brew for the frustrations that ensued. What might have seemed like a perfectly “normal” exchange before ordering turned into a “marriage counseling case type of” conversation during the car-ride; which then looped in my head, to be psycho-analyzed over and over again in the last 24 hours.

Things might have turned out differently if the drink turned out to be what we expected/ hoped for. Eden was disrupted over a fruit, and peace was so easily disrupted over coffee - aka. when things don't go our way.

A humbling reminder of how weak we all are, how fragile the peace of our relationships. And marriage, continues to be hard work.