Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Relationship Jellybeans

No poems this month... Will leave us with some chewies for thoughts on the thing between the Martians & Venois (self-coined, don expect any dictionary to back this word up heh..) 5 beanies for you :p Enjoy!

Passionate red: “Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you by the gazelles and by the does of the field: do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.” (Song of Songs)

Sullen yellow: "Very often, the person whom we find hard to let go of or move on from might well be hypothetical. We have pretended that the perfect he/she might be for real..."

Lime green: “It is not good for man to be alone” and this is the reason why God made Eve. He made for Adam first a companion, not a helper. (Genesis, with remarks)

Electric blue: Love his personality, not his profession nor professions.

Peach pink: When you think commitment and involvement, think bacon and eggs. The chicken is involved, the pig is committed. (quoted from a quote in Mr Commitment, Mike Gayle)

Friday, June 23, 2006

Flattered!


“I just want to thank my father, my mother, my sister and all my fans out there… Thank you so much for believing in me, thank you so much for supporting my writing, thank you, thank you so much…” *snort*snort* (think Sandra Bullock in Miss Congeniality)

Am a tat overwhelmed by all of YOUR responses to this blog. Honestly, thank YOU. YOU who wondered where I got such apt and cutting poems from, YOU who said I write pretty well, YOU who think I should seriously give writing a shot, YOU who said you like to read my blog, YOU who said you’ll be my first reader if I ever start a column, YOU who said I write like an author, YOU who asked your sister to commend me. And even my harshest critics when you all say I’m trying to be poetic- I know I am not faring too badly, right? *awww…*

Am flattered, really. I wish I can be there to say “thank you” each time you visit this site. Thank you so much for affirming this little something I enjoy. Thank you for enjoying my indulgence with me. Thank you for being the someone who cares. From the bottom of my heart, “Thank you”. *big hugz*

But this amateur knows where she stands la, your kind flattery is more than enough. Will ride on this euphoria and stay on cloud nine for a while. Perhaps some day, one fine day when I’m crazy enough, I’ll go email an editor to take a look at my works. After all if the self-confessed western Ah-Lian Janice Wong can write columns and publish a book and have fans, this bimbo deserves a chance too right? *hahahahaha*

Joke of the day: "I don't know," the world-famous novelist said to his editor. "I just don't think my newer books are as good as my earlier works."

"Ridiculous" the understanding editor replied, "your writing is the same as it ever was. It's your taste that's improved."

*i'd say.. "i think my works are getting better and better!"*

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Breaking news?

Gee! The newspaper stole my limelight!! An entry on “holding the door for the person behind you” was well in the pipe-line, but the Straits Times mentioned it in yesterday’s papers!! Argh… But well, at least it agrees with and proved my point. Singapore failed in its courtesy metrics, ranked 30 out of 35 cities in the world- we are so ungracious. “Holding the door for the person behind” is one of the metrics measured. You can be sure I am SO surprised we failed- my constant morning frustration.

I get upset (intensity varies with my mood) when the person in front fails to hold the door for me. I am not even expecting him/her to greet me, but knowing that someone is coming your way, is it that difficult to hold the door for another 10 seconds? To me, it’s not just about basic social etiquette; it’s about the acknowledgement of the existence of a living person behind you. Allowing the door so close straight in the face of the person behind is a sign of hostility, a sign of oblivion, a sign of total disregard, needless to say, a sign of utter ungraciousness of the offender.

I get a quick perk (without fail) when the person in front holds the door for me. Couple that with a smile and “you’re welcome”, my day’s off to a wonderful start! To my dear person in front, thanks for making my day :) Of course I understand we all have our bad days, and we aren’t our perkiest without our morning coffee. I confess there are days I wake up on the wrong side of the bed as well. So that’s my benefit of doubt and excuse for THAT dear person in front.

The discussion of the graciousness of the Singaporean society is way passé and I am not going to delve into it. But Singapore, something must be wrong. When I am the one who greets the cashier (who is in the service line) at the supermarket, when a fellow jogger is bewildered when I smile at him/her in the park, when the PM must run a “smiling” campaign for Singapore… Warmth missing from this sunny island!! Where did the love go? Why is Wall Street even more courteous Shenton Way? That basically rules, time, money and stress level out as legitimate excuses. So what’s wrong? Oh come on Singapore, chill and smile a little more will ya?

P/S: Hmmm… Imagine reading about “holding the door” here first! Drats, it would have been breaking news if I were writing for the papers. Heh. Perhaps, I have a pretty good nose for news after all.

Sunday, June 18, 2006

Daddy daddy

Dinner for Two - Mike GayleJust finished reading "Dinner for Two" by Mike Gayle. i know i have not enjoyed it as much as the friend who recommended it to me. it was a fun read but not a rave-rave for me :p but what struck a chord is probably the father-daughter theme in the book, made even more poignant by the sunday that just passed. Father's Day.

Every girl desires for a hero-daddy. At least i did. I remember spinning tales about dad when i was in third grade, just to outdo the stories my best friend told about her father. Truth is, dad was never around. He never bought me the stuff i bragged about, never did the things i'd imagined he would do with me, never hugged me when i cried, never held me when i fell... The best contact i had of him then was the phoneline.

Do not be mistaken, it's not like i have an estranged relationship with dad. i love him. our relationship improved over the years when he started sending me to school in college. then it took a dive for some reason, and it took me some time to find his place in my life and continue loving him. to love him despite he is not the dad i want him to be, to love him for who he is, to love him despite the pain and disappointments- and of course i am sure i deal him with blows that i have been oblivious to.. but recently i have been really tired. Time and again the limits are tested and i almost felt i have had enough.. i want to give up...

In some ways, yesterday's sermon came as His gentle and timely rebuke to me... "Honour your parents" is the fifth commandment, the first law for relationships among man, and the only one that comes with a promise.

Give unto them the honour that is due to them- not based on merit, but the simple fact that they are my parents. Give unto them the honor because they are His physical life-giving agents & care-givers to me on earth. Give unto them honor because that is pleasing to the Lord. Love them because He is love and love always hopes and never gives up. Love them because they love me- even though they may express so differently. Love them because i know i want so much to... Love them and give them my time...

Dear Jesus, please let me not fail you by making mum and dad feel that they have lost me to You. Because i know this is not what you desire at all. Help me to love them even more because i am in You, so that they may see Your love for them through me. Knit together our broken hearts and never cease hoping in You that one day You will make all things new.

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Emotional Foodie

“My relationship with prawns ended after one bad prawn”, that’s my usual reply when someone tries to make me eat prawns. I used to love prawns, ate heaps of them… until one fine day when one bad prawn left a horrible aftertaste. That killed every ounce of affection I had for the shell fish. It was really sad that I no longer had any cravings for prawns, and even to put one in my mouth would take a bit of coaxing.

My relationship with food is an emotional one. Very.

This lady relishes being “in the moment, with her food”. I love eating, I love feeling for my food. Watch me eat my dark chocolates and ice-cream… But those who know me would know that emotional- is not an understatement. I have an emotional history with some of my passions, each having a frivolous story of its own. Let me share with you two.


Chicken Wings: The relationship with chicken wings have fizzled over the years, but nevertheless each time I eat the wing, my “valiant attempt” stems from this picture in my mind.


During my primary school years, it is common practice for kids to grab some quick bites before journeying home on the school bus. One hot favorite is of course the deep fried golden chicken wings Stall 5 sells. That unforgettable scene took place when I was in Grade 3. She was sitting opposite me in the bus, eating her chicken wing. I don know how the jzie-jzie did it- the way she brought the food to her mouth made the oily plastic bag appear one class higher. Her lips were glossed very nicely by her food, she was mincing each part of the wing daintily. She “de-fleshed” the wing with her pearlies impeccably. I have never seen anyone eat a chicken wing more gracefully than she.



She was the reason why I bought chicken wings for the next few weeks, just to attempt to eat like she did. And in fact, my valiant attempts to eat the chicken wing like a lady lasted many good years. Only till much recently did I discover that the drumstick would perhaps put the klutz in a much better stead. Hahahaha..

Paella: My relationship with paella is tele-induced. Let me first explain that I pay as much attention to what the actors eat when I watch drama serials, as I do to the story. And I am not talking about serials built around culinary theme. Just normal TV shows, and the characters have to eat as a normal activity. So for paella, it began with 刑事侦缉档案IV. Shoot me.

Zishan & Tangxin ran to the supermarket as it was closing to get ingredients for a late night dinner. Romantic adventure. It was to be the first time he cooked for her, and he made this lovely Spanish dish for his lady. That was the first time I was introduced to paella, and thence began my relationship with the “西班牙海鲜咖喱饭”.

For the record, I have not failed to not order the seafood paella each time I step into a Spanish restaurant.
Just for picks in Singapore: The one at Maison Basque is exquisite, likely due to the French fusion influence. Portions are just about right, rice nicely buttered, but the seafood a tat overdone. I prefer Via Mar for its authentic Spanish feel. The portions are huge, one serving feeds 3-4 ladies easily. However, I find the rice a tat salty & wet from an overdose of butter. Generous helpings of seafood, but sadly the prawns were not too fresh that evening.


Sunday, June 11, 2006

98S24

Had a really good time this weekend when a couple of my college mates came by for lunch. It’s been such a long while since we “nua” an afternoon away together- over mahjong, bridge & food, pure bliss. Get-togethers like this always have a way of sending one down memory lane to relish the days gone by, and tracing the paths we took separately to end up where we are today. Am not gonna get all emotional about nostalgias, so will just make a couple of quick notes on some random moments & thoughts.

Best dish: Jeremy’s pasta- pasta tossed with olive oil, pesto, olives, sun-dried tomatoes & pine nuts. Heavenly… I LURVE olives & sun-dried tomatoes... yummilicious!!!

Best moment: When I just sat there and looked around the room to “take in the moment”. Studied all your faces and breathed them all in- and I just cant help but say I LOVE S24!!!

Alternative pride: Are we the most CMI or should I say alternative class of our cohort- and possibly in the history of Hwa Chong ever? Forget about the days when almost all our tutors gave up on us, us zo-bo’ing our afternoons away on the class bench, looking at charts to find that we score the most number of failures, getting into trouble with the discipline master since Day One & the countless committee services we have to pay to the school as a result, having only one person with one S paper when all the other classes are churning out scholars-to-be’s…

We have to date- a professional dancer, a male model (with brains, I’ll proudly add), one who quitted school to go into the arts, one who strayed from the main graduate stream to pursue what she likes, one who would settle in research to spend time in tennis (!!!), one who is willing to leave the safety net and find work in foreign land for his girl, quite a couple of us just so eager to settle for a “work-life balance” instead of the glitzy big office… and of course there are the few who are well on their way to build their bank balances… but honestly, we are like the Hwa Chong “under-achievers” hor.. hahaha.. Alternative- cool man.. Ah-Q :p

Freakish Memory jolt: HX, remember running for council together? “Got it? Got it.” I’ve still got the picture of our banner man, and memories of the geeky song we sang before the faculty still fresh in my head haha..

Hot tears: To hear all of you reminisce, knowing that I’m not the only one who misses our time together. Awww... Warm and fuzzy feeling like eggnog on a white Christmas morn... Hahaha.. No matter how many of us still keep in touch in the end, you will always be part of me…


*muacks!*

Friday, June 09, 2006

the least for you

i saw you through my car window and wanted so much to smile at you. You were sitting in the rain, staring blankly at the space in front. i'm sure our gazes met, you must have saw me, but there was no expression on my face nor yours. your fist was clenched, what were you thinking? were you missing home? regretting making your way here? or wondering how hard the day will be again? i want so much to smile and wave and acknowledge your presence, to let you know that you're not transparent. Forgive me for failing this time, i promise i'll try next time.

i've seen you many times under the scorching sun, and i felt indignance. i wondered why we sit in our cushy offices while you have to sweat your brow. then sympathy put me to shame, for it elevated my status and looked down upon yours. i do not, honestly. i just wished i could stand beside you too and carry the planks you were carrying. i wished you didnt have to work so hard. i appreciate we all play different roles in the human society and you are making your contribution, so i salute you really- you know?

i stood beside you in the bus. you looked afraid. i wished i could have done to make you feel more at ease. then the bald man shouted at you to ask you stand away from him. i wondered why didnt you move, and only after it dawned upon me that you might not have understood. but i didnt speak up for you and i'm so sorry i failed.

"the least you do for one of my brothers, you do it for me" Jesus, sorry i failed you so many times, help me please be bold and show & give love even when it's easier to be cold.

Thursday, June 08, 2006

Joke of the day

*hahahhahhahhahah*

There's this World Cup 2006 Prediction Game going round in office now. Pure Madness i tell you.. As part of the social comm, was forced to participate in it before everyone else.. put in my predictions of the spread between the goals, the winning team of each round, when each team will be booted off.. and you know this soccer idiot just takes wild guesses...

and i am just told.. my team leader spent the whole night doing it.. and he looked at my guesses and said he's IMPRESSED.. hahaha... and now my manager is asking me for advice.. err... this woman will absolutely zilch ball sense and soccer.. very very funny... but anyhow..

World Cup Fever is on! Ole Ole! *tick tick tick*

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Blog Mantra

Much has been said and done about blogging. Academic papers have even arisen out of it. Blog purists have also publicly lash out at what they conceive to be anti-blog culture. Someone also said in an interview that he wont ever blog because life is no longer his own when he starts living his life thinking “if this would make a good blog entrée?”

This blogger has also for long struggled with the self-centered nature of blogging. Is it out of pride and showmanship that I write this and that, or the pre-occupation to be heard and seen? And this potentially destructive self-awareness has also led me to delete many entrees that I have written. When the entrée births out of “I am going to blog this”, it usually never makes it to the posting. I would spend time typing furiously and in fit of self-disappointment, undo everything.

So what determines what comes round here, why should I blog when I have a journal and what is the point of you reading this? I seek desperately to know why I do what I do, so hear my blog mantra:

This is an outlet for my unfulfilled dream to be a journalist/writer. So herein you’ll find some thoughts that desires to be shared. About the world, about relationships, about people, about everything and anything under the sun. This is my speaker’s corner. You'll hear my rants and raves and whines and complaints, and things I will never get to say out loud.

Sorry I really love to write, and I want my writings to be published. It’ll never make it to printed media, so this is my best alternative heh. But honestly, the readership is so pathetically restricted that it puts this purpose to shame. Yes, this blog is my selfish imposition on you. Me me me! Heh.

But here also, it’s me piecing ‘me’ together. The multiple identities I have, the split personalities that may have driven you nuts by now. The lady who desires to experience the passions of life and always be in the moment, also the girl who seeks only the pleasure of those around her, the idealist hoping for world peace & total equity for the human race, the stubborn non-conformist of man’s expectations who may act on prideful deliberations, yet also the helpless pragmatist who may be tempted settle for the lesser dream for practicalities, very evidently the confused being who doesn’t quite know herself.

So in a way, it’s my desperate attempt to collect parts of me, and for people close to my heart to know me- or rather parts of me that may never arise in my limited interactions with you. And perhaps, confuse you even more about who I am. Haha, but yes, in a weird way this blog is for our friendship, us.

I pray you’ll also see here, the testimony of a struggling Christian. That as you read my blog, you see how ugly I can be- so you know that first and foremost the Christian is a sinner, and not some hol(e)y-moly goody-two-shoes according to the common fallacy. :p And as you are sometimes bewildered at the Person I am addressing, you will contemplate His existence and presence- because I know for sure He is true and living and He loves you. Yes, so this blog is also for you.

I love you who are reading this, and hope you have the best Gift I hope to give to you. To remind you who know Jesus, to remember Him. To you who have yet to know Him, to consider God who became a man, died on the cross and lived again for you.

And if the above is true, and this horrible weakling can so graciously testify to Love. Then, let this blog be also for Jesus- my skillful Potter, loving Shepherd, sacrificial Lamb and returning King, my Lord my God! Amen.

Thursday, June 01, 2006

Wicked headline

This is about the most wickedly funny headline today...

Australian baby 'put in dryer'
An Australian man has been charged with causing bodily harm after he put a 13-month-old baby in a tumble dryer when she spilt a drink on herself.


had a good laugh with Paul on this.. he insist it was the fact that it's "australian".. i say it's more a case that it's "man" that's why... hahaha...