I’m reminded why I refuse to get too involved in things- like sports, games, tv serials, etc. When I am into something, I get too emotionally involved. Too much for my own good. And last weekend has been a good reminder for me to always keep that safe emotional distance to things without losing the wonder & passion for life, and yet being able to keep that angst and sin away.
So I watched 30 min of August Rush on the plane before the plane began its descent. Buggers. I could not get the movie out of my mind. Dragged myself home, caught up on my sleep having slept only 2 hours on the plane earlier on, and at the first opportune available- I went to Video Ezy to ask for the movie. But sigh, it’s not available till next month. Drats.
I held my breath to find out what’s going to happen in the movie for the next 24 hours. And so finally I succumbed and confessed as I “tu-dou”ed the movie. Dear God, I will be accountable for watching this online. I’m so sorry- but I’ll answer for it on Judgment Day.
Watching the match between Man-U and Chealsea on Sat. I was really sad, depressed and my spirits were so low even till now as I think about it. I really hate Chealsea, cannot stand them. And the refree must be so darn blind and biased. Fwah, and I could not carry on conversations with Gabriel and Enoch the next day about the match without me holding my hand out to them Talk To My Hand.
And the next day, I was asking questions like “God, what is the point of feeling all these sadness in eternity? Where do all these games fit in your plan of eternity, do they amount to anything?” And I had to remind myself that God does not give goals as gifts even when you pray with great faith- and was I a little upset at Him for not giving us victory? Yes. Was I hoping that this defeat will be a better display of His glory later? Yes. Haha, and Arthur could not have put it better “I cannot handle it. It’s like an entire year wasted if we do not win.” And I am just a growing fan, what about those who have followed them all these years- how do they handle it? I hate Chealsea.
Someone left another note on our car that day- “Do you know it’s really rude to park in front of someone else’s door?” I had been pretty calm about the other notes that were left on our car over the years. We parked where we did obviously coz someone else took our lots, coz we wanted to allow the garbage truck to pass by in the morning without having to wake the neighborhood up, and we were parking on the opposite side of your main door- not at your maindoor, and look at how many lots you guys take up with your 4-5 cars before complaining about the one single lot we occupy.
But as I was working up all these justifications, I hatched a little plan. To be zapping 20 copies of this note and putting it on every single car and mailbox before I move out of the neighborhood. Wahaha.. Will I do that? Maybe. But that’s like mean- an eye for an eye is something I play in my mind that’s not supposed to result in action. Yeah, I’ll still get judged for being so un-Christlike but, at least I do no damage. So how? I guess it’ll depend if they upset me any more before I move out.
Argh… emotional distance, is safe. At least it keeps me sane, controlled and rationale. I am a crazy nut as I am. If I allow myself to go with my feelings- I think I’d wreck more damage to Planet Earth. So how do I juggle these 4 balls- safe emotional distance, wonder and passion for life, keeping away angst and sin, and being real. God help me!
But for now, in tenterhooks... All the best Man-U!!!! Bring back the double!!! i'm not watching lest i jinx you, but will be praying from afar...
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Sunday, April 27, 2008
Incredible India
I have finally set foot in India. Incredible. It’s one of those places that I (and little moo-moo) have always wanted to visit, somewhere God has placed in my heart. It’s not like a strong burden for the nation or anything, but just one of those places that is attractive and special to me. And true enough, one single word that I would use to mark this trip will be “comfortable”.
Be it walking out from the airport to be greeted by a sea of Darlie faces holding out sign boards, riding in the night and seeing cows by the side of the road. Or in true luxurious comfort, my hotel room with its modern home furnishings, and a wonderful breakfast spread by the poolside. Walking for 3 hours straight in the Bangalore traffic, the dusty roads, honking and a much-to-be-improved traffic did not unsettle me. Going about to do my shopping in a tuktuk was fun too. Winding in and out of cars in midst of the pollution made me smile about being able to get so close to the piece of metal next to me.
Even the food settled comfortably in my tummy despite the difference in dining culture. Every night, it was drinks & starters from 8 to 930, then dinner from 930-11. Murgh (chicken) tikka, rougan gousht (mutton), dahl, naan, rice, and lots and lots of different types of curries- yummy!! Well, I’ve gotta worry about the pounds now- but all the foods were like the best Indian comfort foods. Finger licking good!!
The colleagues were really sweet- esp Mohit & Jehan. They took really good care of me and made me absurdly jealous of the Indian hospitality- I’d love to be as hospitable as them. And having worked with them for so long, it’s so nice finally being able to hang out, goof around and even being able to talk about work & discuss issues face to face made me insanely excited. It is a comfort to find that despite being in different geographical locations, employees around the world ask the same questions, wonder about the same stuff and are considering the same options. But one thing I’d add though is that although I have been previously unimpressed by some of the working styles I’ve witnessed, but I now see some of the smartest and most hardworking Indians I know. There is little wonder that Gandhi came from this land.
I have definitely not seen much of India at all- the archaeological sites in the outskirts of Bangalore, Bollywood Mumbai, the capital Delhi or the other of the many states in this most democratic country in the whole world. And there are problems- the poverty gap, beggars on the street, shanty towns, a sense of elitist amongst some of the learned ones, infrastructural improvements, etc. But India has come a long way.
And I took myself by surprise- feeling at home and being comfortable in this land.
I like India. I really really hope to be able to go back again some day and discover the treasures that I have yet to find. Incredible India.
Be it walking out from the airport to be greeted by a sea of Darlie faces holding out sign boards, riding in the night and seeing cows by the side of the road. Or in true luxurious comfort, my hotel room with its modern home furnishings, and a wonderful breakfast spread by the poolside. Walking for 3 hours straight in the Bangalore traffic, the dusty roads, honking and a much-to-be-improved traffic did not unsettle me. Going about to do my shopping in a tuktuk was fun too. Winding in and out of cars in midst of the pollution made me smile about being able to get so close to the piece of metal next to me.
Even the food settled comfortably in my tummy despite the difference in dining culture. Every night, it was drinks & starters from 8 to 930, then dinner from 930-11. Murgh (chicken) tikka, rougan gousht (mutton), dahl, naan, rice, and lots and lots of different types of curries- yummy!! Well, I’ve gotta worry about the pounds now- but all the foods were like the best Indian comfort foods. Finger licking good!!
The colleagues were really sweet- esp Mohit & Jehan. They took really good care of me and made me absurdly jealous of the Indian hospitality- I’d love to be as hospitable as them. And having worked with them for so long, it’s so nice finally being able to hang out, goof around and even being able to talk about work & discuss issues face to face made me insanely excited. It is a comfort to find that despite being in different geographical locations, employees around the world ask the same questions, wonder about the same stuff and are considering the same options. But one thing I’d add though is that although I have been previously unimpressed by some of the working styles I’ve witnessed, but I now see some of the smartest and most hardworking Indians I know. There is little wonder that Gandhi came from this land.
I have definitely not seen much of India at all- the archaeological sites in the outskirts of Bangalore, Bollywood Mumbai, the capital Delhi or the other of the many states in this most democratic country in the whole world. And there are problems- the poverty gap, beggars on the street, shanty towns, a sense of elitist amongst some of the learned ones, infrastructural improvements, etc. But India has come a long way.
And I took myself by surprise- feeling at home and being comfortable in this land.
I like India. I really really hope to be able to go back again some day and discover the treasures that I have yet to find. Incredible India.
Monday, April 14, 2008
i can only imagine..
My current painful saga with my teeth has made me long for heaven- where we all have new bodies and no more tears, no more pain. Let me just indulge in the fantasy of that being a reality as I pop yet again the painkiller that helps to bring heaven on earth for a while…
1. No more losing sleep or waking up in the middle of the night in pain
2. No more need of dieting or watching our diets. Being able to eat tons of ice-cream and chocolate and yummy food without getting tooth decay nor piling on the pounds
3. No more breakouts, pimples and blackheads. Crystal clear succulent skin without using SKII.
4. No more toothache, migraine, flu, fever, chicken pox, avian flu, dengue fever, TB, etc etc.
5. No more hunger and poverty, and resultant deaths. No more dying coz of rising food prices. No more the unjust picture of bodies laden with excesses and bodies with a skeletal frame co-existing.
And here is my wish list for that new body… Daddy, you’re taking notes aren’t you? :p
1. Wings- I don’t want teleporting powers, I don’t want to fly like superman. I want things on my back that I can flap like a bird and fly in the sky. Oh hmm but I don want the wings on my body like its part of me all the time- maybe having it in a parachute bag for me to put them on as and when will be a good idea? You reckon?
2. Perfect eye-sight but optical shops selling glasses to help make me have the geeky look sometimes are still a must.
3. Some magic powers- I haven’t quite figured out which ones I want yet, let me think some more.. But i definitely want a wand and magic spells book. wahaha.. otherwise how can the klutzy me keep my fair share of laughter and trouble creation with my potions gone wrong wahahah..
And I have some questions..
1. At which age will we appear in? In our prime years? As babies/ kids/ grampys?
2. Will we get to know everyone? The heavens will be so wide, wider than earth, then how? Am sure we will not be segregated according to our colors into our continents right…
Aiya… this is getting too exciting and I cannot wait Jesus.. to see the place you have prepared for us. Will it be like the Greek mythology regal with high colonnades, or like candy land with everything sweet and fluffy, or like a big garden/orchard and zoo combined…
where will the lion and lamb sleep side by side in midst of the golden floor and silver seas?
I can only imagine… I can’t wait!!!
**
1. No more losing sleep or waking up in the middle of the night in pain
2. No more need of dieting or watching our diets. Being able to eat tons of ice-cream and chocolate and yummy food without getting tooth decay nor piling on the pounds
3. No more breakouts, pimples and blackheads. Crystal clear succulent skin without using SKII.
4. No more toothache, migraine, flu, fever, chicken pox, avian flu, dengue fever, TB, etc etc.
5. No more hunger and poverty, and resultant deaths. No more dying coz of rising food prices. No more the unjust picture of bodies laden with excesses and bodies with a skeletal frame co-existing.
And here is my wish list for that new body… Daddy, you’re taking notes aren’t you? :p
1. Wings- I don’t want teleporting powers, I don’t want to fly like superman. I want things on my back that I can flap like a bird and fly in the sky. Oh hmm but I don want the wings on my body like its part of me all the time- maybe having it in a parachute bag for me to put them on as and when will be a good idea? You reckon?
2. Perfect eye-sight but optical shops selling glasses to help make me have the geeky look sometimes are still a must.
3. Some magic powers- I haven’t quite figured out which ones I want yet, let me think some more.. But i definitely want a wand and magic spells book. wahaha.. otherwise how can the klutzy me keep my fair share of laughter and trouble creation with my potions gone wrong wahahah..
And I have some questions..
1. At which age will we appear in? In our prime years? As babies/ kids/ grampys?
2. Will we get to know everyone? The heavens will be so wide, wider than earth, then how? Am sure we will not be segregated according to our colors into our continents right…
Aiya… this is getting too exciting and I cannot wait Jesus.. to see the place you have prepared for us. Will it be like the Greek mythology regal with high colonnades, or like candy land with everything sweet and fluffy, or like a big garden/orchard and zoo combined…
where will the lion and lamb sleep side by side in midst of the golden floor and silver seas?
I can only imagine… I can’t wait!!!
**
a side note to my loved ones abroad... i am gonna have my braces done soon which means that in Arthur's words- i'm gonna be a "metal mouth" when i walk down the red carpet. wahaha.. you've been warned here. but well Mr Kok's happy to look better than his bride in the pictures.. so i guess that's worth something.. wahaha..
Thursday, April 10, 2008
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