These drama serials are making me immoral… I’m in love with 2 shows these days- The Good Wife, and House M.D. Therein lies my 2 crushes- my 50 year-old crush Hugh Laurie (a.k.a House), and my 40 year-old crush Josh Charles (a.k.a Will Gardner).. And of course my 30 year-old crush is Arthur Kok- oh right! He’s not a just a crush *winks*
Ok, having crushes are perfectly normal- and I know that :p So they are not my problem.
My issue is, I actually want them to break up other people’s marriage or relationship, so that they can be with the heroine I want them to be with!!! If there’s not something wrong with me, I don’t know what.
It’s wrong, it’s irrealistic- I tell myself that. But I still hate the fact, that I cannot tell the scriptwriters that they should have made that cheating husband a complete one-dimensional ass-hole… Or they need to let my leading men at least have their love reciprocated somehow in her heart of hearts- their despondent faces just haunts me and wrings all my insides.
Right, I can blame it on the scriptwriters. Gosh, how can they do that to me? Made me fall in love with people whom I would have kept at arm’s length, or treated with cynicism if I were to know them. They’ve written such brilliant characters that I would condone House’s acute sarcasm, and "respect" Will as a sharp and hard-nose partner in the law firm.
And the script is so good, that it make me want an ending that’s contrary to all that I believe in and hold dear! I frown at Cuddy’s perfectly realistic choice that I would be truly proud of if I was her girlfriend in real life.. I am rooting for Alicia to do what Hillary Clinton failed to do and walk away- the man isn’t bad for her at all honestly, but I’m just completely irrational in Will’s favour at this point. (Partially coz of my biased viewer tendencies- i dont like how "the other man"- the husband looks :p) How can they make me want something that is so bad?'??
See I have a problem… falling for the oldest trick in the scriptwriter’s manual, and getting all personal and emotional about it. Goodness gracious me.
There is no good third party.. God punishes. God hates adultery. God loves forgiveness. God gives second chances. Thank God that He is there. That He has a standard, and He defines what is right and good and true… Otherwise, the world will be a bigger mess than it already is, and i would be even more screwed up than i already am!
But can I still have my alternative standards in TV-land? Please?
Friday, May 28, 2010
Saturday, May 01, 2010
To struggle to do what is right
“Anyone who lives on milk, being still an infant, is not acquainted with the teaching about righteousness. But solid food if for the mature, who by constant use have trained themselves to distinguish good from evil” Hebrews 5:13-14
As I grow older, it seems that I need milk more and more- moving further and further away from the solid food I ought to be having. I’ve bought into the post-modern lie of defining what is good according to “ MY Christian values” (what irony…), sank into the fatigue of the repeated failures to do what is good and right, hid in the comforts of the “brilliant rationalization” of my own evils, and became lazy in my struggle against sin.
It is true, and I see it so clearly as Daddy shows me in the school of driving & parking. I remember the days when cheating 15 min with the parking coupon would eat at me- and there were days when He was gracious to give me the wisdom to do right instead of bearing the guilt of that 25 cents. When the Electronic Parking System (EPS) parking was implemented during the early days, I delighted in it- because it meant that I can pay fully what I owe and not have to bear the temptation of having to cheat with the parking coupons.
But these days, I convinced myself that the government is making so much money off me on the roads anyway- it doesn’t hurt that I re-use the parking coupons some time! And I realized that I had became lazy and counted on the EPS to be responsible for my integrity- because I could not be trusted to be right when I needed to be. I cannot be confident even after these reflections that I would do the right thing next time I use those parking coupons.
Today, I bumped gently into someone’s car in the car park as I was reversing into my lot. There was nothing really, I wanted to clean off the stains and walk off. But Arthur kept cleaning and cleaning, and suggested leaving a note. Eventually, the owner of the guy showed up. Then there was of course the inevitable damages-compensation-insurance conversation, which is another story by the way. And I only have my own naivety to blame.
Anyhow, I know the fact that I had borne responsibility for the situation, and faced the person I had done wrong is right and good. But it still didn’t stop me from being a little frustrated with Arthur for tarrying so long, or bemoan the appearance of the driver. Should I even be proud that I didn’t drive off instead? Why cant I be glad that God is protecting me from the guilt of shame or sin, without the negative feelings? Oh how far from righteousness I am!
And I wonder why it is that I am not growing, and not having breakthroughs in my walk with God? I think about people like John Piper, D.A Carson, John Stott. I think about their relationship with God, and how these people had been teaching and preaching the deep things of God since they were in their 30s! The kind of things you know that were true of their life, simply by listening to the things they say. I am reaching that age soon, but I’m still asking God the same questions I was 7 years ago- about life, about work, about my time on earth. I’m going round the circles over and over again, and still an infant. How can I get myself ready to meet Him in another 40 years or so?
I can only take comfort in the writer of Hebrews, that if only I would take that baby step. To be acquainted with the teachings of righteousness, and be willing to constantly using it to distinguish good and evil- and do what is good and right.. I might get to the solid food eventually. To drink deep from the Living Water, to desire God and His holiness, to have His eyes on a situation and feel things the way He does. How long, O Lord?
As I grow older, it seems that I need milk more and more- moving further and further away from the solid food I ought to be having. I’ve bought into the post-modern lie of defining what is good according to “ MY Christian values” (what irony…), sank into the fatigue of the repeated failures to do what is good and right, hid in the comforts of the “brilliant rationalization” of my own evils, and became lazy in my struggle against sin.
It is true, and I see it so clearly as Daddy shows me in the school of driving & parking. I remember the days when cheating 15 min with the parking coupon would eat at me- and there were days when He was gracious to give me the wisdom to do right instead of bearing the guilt of that 25 cents. When the Electronic Parking System (EPS) parking was implemented during the early days, I delighted in it- because it meant that I can pay fully what I owe and not have to bear the temptation of having to cheat with the parking coupons.
But these days, I convinced myself that the government is making so much money off me on the roads anyway- it doesn’t hurt that I re-use the parking coupons some time! And I realized that I had became lazy and counted on the EPS to be responsible for my integrity- because I could not be trusted to be right when I needed to be. I cannot be confident even after these reflections that I would do the right thing next time I use those parking coupons.
Today, I bumped gently into someone’s car in the car park as I was reversing into my lot. There was nothing really, I wanted to clean off the stains and walk off. But Arthur kept cleaning and cleaning, and suggested leaving a note. Eventually, the owner of the guy showed up. Then there was of course the inevitable damages-compensation-insurance conversation, which is another story by the way. And I only have my own naivety to blame.
Anyhow, I know the fact that I had borne responsibility for the situation, and faced the person I had done wrong is right and good. But it still didn’t stop me from being a little frustrated with Arthur for tarrying so long, or bemoan the appearance of the driver. Should I even be proud that I didn’t drive off instead? Why cant I be glad that God is protecting me from the guilt of shame or sin, without the negative feelings? Oh how far from righteousness I am!
And I wonder why it is that I am not growing, and not having breakthroughs in my walk with God? I think about people like John Piper, D.A Carson, John Stott. I think about their relationship with God, and how these people had been teaching and preaching the deep things of God since they were in their 30s! The kind of things you know that were true of their life, simply by listening to the things they say. I am reaching that age soon, but I’m still asking God the same questions I was 7 years ago- about life, about work, about my time on earth. I’m going round the circles over and over again, and still an infant. How can I get myself ready to meet Him in another 40 years or so?
I can only take comfort in the writer of Hebrews, that if only I would take that baby step. To be acquainted with the teachings of righteousness, and be willing to constantly using it to distinguish good and evil- and do what is good and right.. I might get to the solid food eventually. To drink deep from the Living Water, to desire God and His holiness, to have His eyes on a situation and feel things the way He does. How long, O Lord?
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