The Miry Clay in the Potter's hands goes through the sculpting of His hands and the furnace of His fire to become His jar of clay. For noble purpose or the ordinary, He alone rightfully decides. Of grime and mud, only the Loving Potter will take & create, only the Skillful One will make a masterpiece, only the Faithful will strive to keep it soft till the end.
Maybe it's mid-life crisis - hitting the mid 40s and realizing that I'm halfway to meeting my maker and wondering if I've lived the life that He wanted me to. Maybe it's prolonged naval gazing and taking eyes off my Jesus, my family and my neighbor for far too long - not spending enough time digging deep into His Word and relationships. Maybe it's discontentment or the 7 year itch and almost time for change.
And so I've been circling around the "Should I do my Executive MBA?" question. If it's the learning, there are other ways to learn. If it's the option to do something different in the future, that's kicking the can down the road. If it's just to check the box, why do I want to check that box? At the end of the day, that's really a mask for "What do I want to do with my life?" Where do I want to be in 10 years? What are my gifts? What problems do I want to be solving? What is my Why?
The chief end of man is to enjoy God and glorify Him forever.
But how I ask
There is no answer.
Make disciples of all nations, feed my sheep, shine like lights.
But who and where I wonder
What if I don't want that enough
Am I to stay put forever.
Ask and it will be given to you; seek and ye shall find
I'm asking and seeking Lord
Please answer.
I know I'm Yours and You know me
But what does this mean
Does anything else matter
Am I to just be content regardless
Is it always in the striving, and never the arriving
Is this me or is this you
I can hide behind my list of to-do's and do the next thing
I can skim the surface
But a part of me is seeking and yearning
It's time to dig deep.
What is my why?
A house and a yard is far too small
The next weekend?
Fun at the next vacation is short lived
A certain rhythm of life but to what end
It's not a certain job or title
I'd like to make a difference
I'd like to lead and inspire
But who am I that I should matter
All is naught if the Lord is not at the center
Who is my why?
Mya, Elliot and Arthur
My family in Singapore and here
The Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit
The church and my neighbor
Perhaps that's where my energy is better spent
To seek my why not in what but who
To spend my energy building relationships that matter
He must increase and I decrease too
For the chief end of man is to enjoy God and glorify Him forever.
This year has gone by all too quickly – with so much
activity all around, too much work and too little here.
On the world stage, wars have broken out with Russia invading
Ukraine and Hamas invading Israel. World peace seems more fraught than ever. Surprise
fireworks one night had me worried about war possibly breaking out right in my
neighborhood. Singapore’s reputation of a “clean government” was stained by
political scandals and a new president was sworn in. Beloved Queen Elizabeth
died and King Charles was coronated King.
6 You will hear of wars and rumors of wars, but see to it that
you are not alarmed. Such things must happen, but the end is still to come.7 Nation will rise against nation, and
kingdom against kingdom. There will be famines and earthquakes in
various places.8 All these are the beginning
of birth pains. ~ Matthew 24
Some trust in chariots and some in horses,but we trust in the name of the Lord our God. ~ Ps 20:7
In the Christian world, Tim Keller died. He’s pastored me,
taught me, and shaped me through his sermons and books; and though he does not
know me, he’ll always be a pastor to me. The legacy that he’s left behind with
TGC, and the many lives he has touched will live on. Thank you for making Jesus
and the Gospel so beautiful and glorious for this generation and the many
generations to come, Tim. I miss you!
“The gospel is that I am so sinful that Jesus had to die for me,
yet so loved and valued that Jesus was glad to die for me. This leads to deep
humility and deep confidence at the same time. I can’t feel superior to anyone,
and yet I have nothing to prove to anyone.”
“The gospel says you are simultaneously more sinful and
flawed than you ever dared believe, yet more loved and accepted than you ever
dared hope.”
And in little world of the Kok family, Arthur and I are in
our “teen years” now – 15 years of being married! Mya forayed into the
double digit world into her “tween years” – turned 10, got her ears pierced,
and got to read the Goblet of Fire. And dearest Elliot continues to keep me on
my knees, begging and pleading with the Lord, ever the reminder that God gives
us what we need.
The Lord has also blessed us with many wonderful memories –
of first experiences like skiing and Mya’s first sleep away camp, of sneaking
in some play in midst of work in London and Sweden, of playful summer vacations
and road trips, of the magnificence of His creation like the Adirondacks and Niagara
falls, of a lot of singing to musicals like Percy Jackson and Matilda, of
movie night with The Mighty Ducks and The Chosen, of family visiting
(thank you yee yee!)…
But of them all, our 15 year anniversary celebration at TGC
conference was a highlight for the year. Many may think spending our 15 year
anniversary at the TGC conference was an odd choice. But the Lord spoke to our
hearts personally in so many ways on our journey leading up to it, refreshed us while
we were there despite the stressful week with Cirrus going live and the Wheaton
home-coming, and through the teaching on Exodus “Hope in the wilderness”. He
reminded me of who my heart truly sings for, and living according to my
priorities.
The year fleeted by all too quickly, but so full at the same
time as I look back. So many lessons to ponder over, so much to give thanks for. And here’s my prayer as I look to 2024…
Teach us
to number our days,that we may gain a heart of wisdom. 13 Relent, Lord! How
long will it be?Have compassion on your servants.14 Satisfy us
in the morning with your unfailing love,that we
may sing for joy and be glad all our days. 15 Make
us glad for as many days as you have afflicted us, for as many years as
we have seen trouble.16 May your deeds be shown to your
servants,your splendor to their children. 17 May the
favor[a] of
the Lord our God rest on us;establish
the work of our hands for us—yes, establish the work of our hands.” ~ Psalm 90
Turning the page on the calendar, it's a new day, a new month, a new year. 2022 has slipped away and 2023 crept right in. It's been 2 years, but it's the first time Covid has made an appearance in our household. So instead of singing auld lang syne with friends, we've done our own little countdown and toast on the hour. The kids were excited about being able to drink grape juice out of wine glasses, and Mya even woke up at 12pm CST to usher in the new year with us.
2022 for me is well captured by the GRATEFUL acrostic. I am thankful to the Lord for -
God and His Word (esp. the minor prophets, 1 Peter and TGC's Good Faith Debates )
Renovation and new kitchen
Arthur, Mya and Elliot, and coming home to them each day (esp hard ones!)
Trips to Charlotte, Singapore (MBS, yay!), London, Zurich and Giessen
Endurance, help and favor from God at work
Finishing up at OTB for Arthur and hopes of a fresh beginning vocationally
Uneventful mammogram and biopsy (phew!)
Life Group and the Orchard, despite hard times with Chicago and Pastor Scott leaving
Mya and Elliot have also made more progress in the Chinese language. Mya is able to converse more with Po-po, Gong-gong and Yee-Yee in Chinese. I was proud to see the kids rock the Singapore public transport system - buses 88 and 13 to Bishan MRT, oh yeah! And enjoying hawker food like satay and wonton noodles. They've also plunged right into the world of Hogwarts and made imaginary friends with Harry Potter, Hermione Granger and Ron Weasley. The family embarked on 2 new sports this year, with taekwondo in the spring and soccer in the fall.
New experiences and kitchen aside, we've not made very much progress in a few of the weightier things I'm afraid. As I look back at last years' post, Arthur and I have not been exercising or praying very much together - at least not after "returning to office". We've not been very consistent or diligent in ways that will help form character and Christ in the kids. Neither have we shared the Gospel with more people - though Arthur's time with Steve has been fruitful to help him get plugged in with the church.
So with that, as I look forward to 2023 and answer Pastor Colin's call for the church to grow in love. Praying that God will help me to love faithfully with the "small" daily things -
1. Love Him and enjoy time in His Word and devotions more 2. Love Arthur by encouraging his God-given gifts 3. Love Mya and Elliot by being more creative in "Mommy's school" and be more disciplined about disciplining them
4. Love the church more by meeting up with the ladies in my life and praying with them
5. Love my neighbors more by getting to know them
6. Love my family in Singapore more by checking in more often
7. Love the world more by seeking out the mountain He wants me to help move
May God revive His church with an fresh outpouring of faith, hope and love for Him and our neighbor!
Experiencing Christmas through 3 different songs this year.
First, Mary's song in Luke 1
46 And Mary said: “My soul glorifies the Lord 47 and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior, 48 for he has been mindfulof the humble state of his servant.
Mary starts her song by glorifying God – because He has given her a child and fulfilled His
promises to her and Israel. In Isaiah 42:8, the Lord says “I am
the Lord; that is my name; my glory I give to no other”. God Himself is full of
glory, we cannot give Him more glory, than what He already has. When we glorify God, we are acknowledging
His greatness, declaring His magnificence to others, and giving weight
to Him. For all that He is and all that He has done. May we as Paul exhorts in 1 Cor 10:31, "whether we eat or drink, or whatever we do, we
do it all for the glory of God.”
Mary’s spirit
rejoices in God her Savior. This is a peculiar response, if you consider her
circumstances from the human point of view. There she is, a single teenage girl
carrying a baby. What would others say at that time and in that culture? But
yet as she considers God’s plan of salvation through her, she rejoices in God her
Savior. In the Bible, rejoicing
is more often a command. An exhortation and a choice, than a description of
what was happening. It is often in the context of trials and suffering. In our life, there will undoubtedly be trials, sacrifice,
suffering, heartache, pain and tears. During those times, may we hold on to joy, by keeping our eyes on God and not our circumstances. To
rejoice in hope, because God is our Savior.
Mary glorified the Lord and rejoiced
in God her Savior, because God has been mindful of her. He has
looked on her, His eyes are on her. Likewise, Immanuel assures us that God is mindful of us. His eyes are on us. He
looks upon us with such joy, such love, such compassion, such worth.And He has given us His Son to prove that.
That He was willing to send His only Son from His side, to give Him up for us
all. And if He is willing to do that for you, how will He not also graciously
give us all things that we need for life and godliness.
Second, Simeon's song in Luke 2, after he meets Jesus
28 And Simeon took him in his arms and praised God, saying 29 Sovereign Lord, as you have promised, you may now dismiss your servant in peace 30 For my eyes have seen your salvation, 31 which you have prepared in the sight of all nations: 32 a light for revelation to the Gentiles, and the glory of your people Israel."
Simeon's single life long dream to see Jesus has always moved me. For him, to live is to see Christ. And when he has laid eyes on the Savior, experienced God's fulfillment of His promise to him, he was ready to depart. Talk about the sufficiency of Christ. We have that and so much more, may that be enough for me!
Third, Christmas Bells by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow (1807-1882)
Chancing upon this carol during family worship has been special. It is God's special personal song for me this year. In light of the war in Ukraine, of all that is still wrong with this world, the poet's honest wrestling during the Christmas season rings true for so many today.
I heard the bells on Christmas Day Their old, familiar carols play, And wild and sweet The words repeat Of peace on earth, good-will to men!
And thought how, as the day had come, The belfries of all Christendom Had rolled along The unbroken song Of peace on earth, good-will to men!
Till ringing, singing on its way, The world revolved from night to day, A voice, a chime, A chant sublime Of peace on earth, good-will to men!
Then from each black, accursed mouth The cannon thundered in the South, And with the sound The carols drowned Of peace on earth, good-will to men!
It was as if an earthquake rent The hearth-stones of a continent, And made forlorn The households born Of peace on earth, good-will to men!
And in despair I bowed my head; "There is no peace on earth," I said; "For hate is strong, And mocks the song Of peace on earth, good-will to men!"
Then pealed the bells more loud and deep: "God is not dead, nor doth He sleep; The Wrong shall fail, The Right prevail, With peace on earth, good-will to men."
My second Sabbatical formed the bookends of this summer. The
first half was spent mostly in Singapore playing tourist in my home country,
and the second half in Chicago playing stay-at-home mom. The first half felt
more productive, mainly because I was able to help Daddy and Mummy declutter that
one room; and the second half had me starting a bunch of projects that sit unfinished
on this last day of my Sabbatical. What I enjoyed most of this Sabbatical though,
was just being able to give some more time to my role as a wife, mother,
daughter, sister (wish I did more!), friend and church member. All things I
prize more than being a responsible worker and manager. With days becoming
shorter and the clock ticking, I’ll have to better allocate time, energy and
mental space to things that matter more for eternity. How easy it is to get
caught up in the hum-drum of work, and I am thankful that this Sabbatical helped
me slow down and reminded me to prioritize the important.
**
“Fix these words of mind in your hearts and minds.. Teach
them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you
walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.” Deuteronomy
11:18-19
We need time to sit at home with our children, to walk along
the road with them, to lie down with them and get up with them; how else are we
to teach our children the Word of the Lord? And the few moments that are most
precious to me this summer were precisely that.
Elliot did not make it very far on our Saturday morning jog
when he had to stop. A dead bunny by the roadside sucked the spring out of his
steps. With his head drooped and his feet trudging, he barely eeked out the
words when I ran back to him, “I am so sad Mommy”. And a conversation about our
eternal hope in Christ ensued. There was no assurance of the bunny making it
into heaven; but we prayed and thanked God for the hope that we have- that one
day, there will be no more death, sadness and tears when we are with Him in the new heaven and new earth. And then he ran again. But
it was not long before another conversation about money interrupted my plans to
be healthy that morning.
“I did not used to be like that Mommy…” Mya rubbed her eyes
we lay down beside each other on her bed. Earlier that evening, the older one
went bananas over my comment about Elliot having a 40 minute long bus ride each
way to school. “You only care about Elliot! Oh poor Elliot! You think I have an
easy bus ride?” I pointed out the mean, ugly heart that the jealousy stemmed
from; and she hid herself in the bathroom to calm down. She did not want to
hear a sermonette that night, but I was glad to lay beside her and tell her “I
was and I am like that too.”
Having the chance to send the kids off to school in the morning, and being home to welcome them when they get back is precious. Instead of getting ready for work or being already gone on the train, I get to see these little ones board their school bus and tell them that I love them as they go off to learn about and face that big world out there. And being around to hear about their day when they get home, prepping snacks and spontaneous sushi dinners together just makes my heart full. I want to be here to tell them that they do not have to sneak around for more screen time in the dark, warn them of pressures they'll face at school and remind them to be little lights for Jesus whenever they can.
And as we sit down for family worship in
the evenings, it was wonderful to take time to breathe and rest together. There were no activities to rush to after
dinner, and no other place we had to be other than there beside each other –
reading, singing hymns and praying together.
***
I have so enjoyed TGC’s Good Faith debates. So thankful to
the Lord for this group of like-minded brothers and sisters whom I don’t know
personally, but am so glad to call “my people, my tribe”!
2 overdue birthday posts that doubles up as my Valentines' Day letter to my little ones this year.
And of course a very Happy Valentine's Day to my earthly valentine whom I hope will be my best friend through all eternity, and to my Heavenly Valentine whom I long to meet face to face one day.
Happy 6th Birthday, Elliot!
Dearest Elliot,
Six years old today! We had a few friends over – your
classmate Freddy and our old neighbors Miles and Cole, for a playdate after
school. Mya and I made you a Flash cake, and you were so excited about that. Your
birthday is a special day and we are so glad that we get to celebrate you in a
special way today!
As Daddy and I look at the pictures and videos of your first
few years, I remember being worried about you not talking! You little mind was taking
everything in – Daddy’s effusive expressions and tickling, Mya’s singing and
talking, and Mummy’s reading and funny sounds. And now, you speak so clearly
what’s on your mind – be it when you’re praying or playing, angry or happy.
Thank you for letting us know what you’re thinking and feeling, I pray that
will not change – that even when you’re sixteen or thirty six, you’ll still let
us know what’s on your heart.
Your “no-filter” is such a precious quality, especially when
they come out in your prayer. I love to hear your pray. Your superlatives when
you’re mad make me laugh and cry – “you will never see me again! I will not
talk to you ever again!” Nothing you can say child, can make us love you less. Daddy
and I pray for God’s wisdom to steward your honesty, and yet also teach you self-control
and other centered-ness – that you will show us all how to own and speak the
truth in love.
Your reckless abandon (and sometime destruction) is not
because you don’t care though. You care deeply about what others think, which causes
you to be embarrassed some times. I’m still trying to figure out if there is a
specific trigger; and the best I can come up with is probably when your pride
is wounded or when attention is drawn to you unexpectedly. Oh son, we’re still
learning how best to parentyou every
day. But my prayer is that you will learn the freedom of self-forgetfulness, to
look and think of yourself less and more of Christ each day.
Now that you’ve started kindergarten and are learning
Chinese, I like how you do the motions alongside the words! 大！小！力！I can’t wait to discover the
passions and gifts God has given to you as you learn and grow in knowledge.
Speaking of knowledge, your knowledge of all things
super-heroes has far surpassed me. You’re such a “boy’s boy”. Your love for
superheroes, Ninjagos, the color blue (and Bluey), Star Wars, Sonic Boom and
rappy loud music! You challenge my tastes and preferences, or should I say
“expand my horizons.” You speeding around the house like the Flash, or kung-fu
fighting the air, karate-kicking the walls and wrestling Daddy and Mya; are
things that I’m going to try to enjoy now coz I know I’ll miss them when you
grow up. You’re also cheeky and gross sometimes, I hope and pray you’ll enjoy
all the gifts that God has given to us in God-honoring ways.
Beneath your “tough-guy” exterior is a precious tender
heart. You were sad the other day after a dream about daddy dying; and after
Pete’s Dragon last night, when you remembered Pete’s parents dying. And even
though you enjoy frustrating your sister, your adoration for Mya is evident;
taking after her interests in Narnia, Dragon Masters and wanting to follow her
around.
Oh son, I love you so very much! Daddy loves you, Mya loves
you and King Jesus loves you most of all. I pray you’ll grow up loving Jesus
and be a man after His heart; with noble character and honor; and shine
brightly for Him every day.
Happy 8th Birthday Mya!
Dearest Mya,
Happy Belated birthday! I’ve had this letter in the works
now for so long, and it’s taken a long time to complete it – sorry sweetheart!
As I think about your 8th year, I am amazed at
how much you’ve learnt and developed. I’m torn between wanting to see how God
is molding and shaping you, and not wanting you to grow up too quickly! Time is
slipping through our hands so fast. I miss the little baby who refuses to sleep
on her own and would cry till she threw up, the little toddler running in
circles around the house, the little sister who would sing to her baby brother,
the little mind who could memorize so many psalms… even till today! She’s
growing up to be a little lady who has to start using facial wash, who enjoys
spas and getting her nails done, and who likes dressing up a little to go on a
date with her daddy.
Pride fills me up as I think about you starting 2nd
grade, writing mini Chinese essays. You learning piano and writing songs. You
doing somersaults on the trampoline. You roller-blading and then being able to
skate on the ice at first try. You can do so things I can’t my darling! Not to
mention your natural dance moves, jokes, magic shows, family services and home
video productions (Rapunzel! Queen Ester, …). Your ability to pick up lyrics
also amazes me.
I love your creativity, boldness to try new things and
fun-loving personality. When you get so excited about the rides at Six Flags;
or a part in a movie, you cannot stop bouncing on the couch. You squeal and
your eyes light up. I pray you’ll never lose that sense of wonder and spark in
your eyes my dear. Each day and moment is a gift from the Lord to be enjoyed,
and it fills Him up with so much delight to see His daughter embracing the
gifts He has given.
This is also the year you fell in love with reading on your
own. Daddy was waiting for this switch to be turned on. You have made him so
happy. Our “reading and hair” time in the evenings are precious to me – not
only because I can braid and try out hair styles on my real-live doll; but also
because I get to learn about women who change the world with you, or get lost
in another world with you, be it Narnia or a land with dragators.
There have been a few difficult things and conversations this
year too. With grades and teasing in school, unnecessary comparisons I make
that hurt your feelings, concerns about 公公’s salvation, or just the daily reality of sin in us and
the world. Sometimes, it makes you ask “Do you love me? Will you still love me?”
I want you to know Mya, that nothing will ever stop Daddy
and me from loving you. Ever. Even when we hurt you or you hurt us, or when it
seems to you that we don’t. We do and we will. Don’t give heed to the lies that
Satan whispers in your ears – just as it did to Eve. God loves you and will
always love you. We love you and will always love you. As you grow up, you’ll
have more questions; the world will make you doubt yourself, God’s love and
these truths that you grew up with.. But know my sweetheart of hearts, that He
has us in His hands. “For neither heights nor depth, angels nor demons, nor can
ever separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
Happy Valentines and Belated Birthday my kiddos! You have my
heart and always will.
2021 was a year that started with the news of the deaths of my
massage therapist friend Happy Vesse, my fourth uncle and my friend Andrew’s brother
Matthew. It proceeded with many conversations – about race (George Floyd),
politics (US election) and health (Covid, masks and vaccinations). It also revealed
the fragility of the church and the faith of many; and begets the question –
what is the foundation and unity of the church ultimately based on? What is my
commitment to Christ and His Bride, and my love for my neighbor ultimately
based on?
I spent much of 2021 studying for CFA Level III and took it twice;
which is quite enough. Being called to be on the Orchard’s church board is both
an honor and responsibility. And God had to shake the work stress out of me
with a candida infection. Arthur moved on from Momentum and the residency, to
start a translation project manager role at UTB. His ministry plate has also
never been more full – doing Bible studies with Steve Wang, Jason and Jacob,
and leading LIFE Group and Orchard Kids. Mya started second grade, found her
groove with reading and telling jokes, began exploring piano and had her first
tooth extraction. Elliot started Chinese Immersion with Ms Chin and Mrs Floyd,
began to read and build his Marvel-pedia knowledge and lost his first 2 teeth.
It is quite true that they say we overestimate what we can
do in a day, and underestimate what we can achieve in a year. In midst of the lows
and heavy topics, we still managed some highs and frivolous fun. And with that,
I look to 2022 with anticipation.
A trip to Singapore, God-willing? A new kitchen perhaps?
More hobby, silly-fun and Mummy-school time hopefully? Beneath the cream and
fluff, here’s my hope and prayer for the weightier things –
1.That I would seek God more in prayer and in Word
– to seek Him first in all things, not relying first on the means He has given
though conventional wisdom and the counsel of others.
2.That I might fill out the sketches of what a
church that welcomes, ministers to and celebrates diversity look like
3.That Arthur and I will pray together more, and I
may love, serve and help Arthur better
4.That as parents, we will be more consistent and
diligent; and help form character and Christ in the kids
5.That we as a family will make new neighbors,
share the Gospel with 1 more person than last year, enjoy God more together and
look at screens less.
Christmas devotion shared at our LIFE Group Christmas party this year, based on Matthew 1.
We will focus on the genealogy
of Jesus, especially the first 6 verses; and I want to draw out 3 observations
for us.
The first is that Jesus is not
ashamed of where He came from or His family tree.
Many of us will spend time
with our extended family this Christmas. And some of us have extended family
who are far away. No matter where they are or how we are connecting with them
this Christmas season – in person or virtually, our family can remind us of
everything that we love about them, and everything that frustrates us about
them. And when we go further back into our family tree, there are probably ancestors
that we are so proud of and we talk about them often; and other stories that we
would rather bury or dirty laundry that we wish we could wash clean – and I’m
not talking about the laundry in the laundry basket..
When we look at Jesus’ family
tree documented for us here, we see that there are both characters too. We start
strong at the beginning with Matthew pointing out that Jesus is the son of
David. David, who is man after God’s own heart and Israel’s best king in the
OT, or Abraham – father of faith, and we have Isaac, Jacob, Solomon a wise
king, Hezekiah and Josiah who were godly kings…
But yet, there are also unsavory
characters and stories even for the best of them. We have evil kings like Ahaz..
Or Solomon who was born out of his father David’s adultery. Or the interesting
reference to Judah, son of Jacob – who is hardly the most stellar son that
Jacob had, and who committed incest with his daughter in law.
In this genealogy, we see the
good and the bad. The names that stir pride and also the names that we would
rather sweep under the rug and never be spoken of again. Yet here they are,
recorded in Holy Scripture. They were not “conveniently” left out of history
books. All of them in the line of Jesus the Messiah. He is not ashamed of where
He came from nor His family tree. My encouragement to all of us here is that
not even Jesus had the perfect family or pristine pedigree, and we do not have
to carry the weight or shame of not having the “picture perfect family”.
The second observation is the idea
that God writes straight with crooked lines.
This quote is sometimes
attributed to St. Teresa of Avila – “God writes straight with crooked lines”. It
is hard to miss that there are only a few women mentioned here in this
genealogy. But the fact that they were, is highly significant especially in the
patriarchal society during that time.
Tamar married such a wicked
man that the Lord put him to death. Then her brother in law did wrong by her by
not willing to give her a son, and was also put to death by the Lord. And her
father-in-law sent her away back to her family, and then slept with her not
knowing that it was her. Being widowed twice, disgraced and betrayed by her
family.. Yet she persevered to do what is right, and through her bold righteous
act that Perez was born.
And then there is Rahab the
prostitute who lived in Jericho when the spies came to check out the city. What
was her life like that forced her into prostitution? How might she have felt hearing
about a holy God coming to take her city, when her life was reeked with sin.
She risked her life to hide the spies, pleaded for salvation and was spared when
her city was conquered. And so she lived in the city that she grew up in,
amongst the people who attacked it.
And there’s Ruth, the Moabite
who did not know God growing up, entered an “unequally yoked marriage” and was
widowed at a young age. She stuck by her bitter mother-in-law Naomi, left her
people and went to live in a foreign land and amongst a people she did not
know. Through Boaz’s kindness and redemption, she got grafted into the line of
the Messiah and became King David’s great grandmother.
Last but not least, Bathsheba
who was only referred to as Uriah’s wife. She was taken by the king, witness
the king plotting her husband’s death to cover up his sin, married her
husband’s murderer and endured the death of her child.
They all had different
stories, endured much twists and turns in their lives – grief, sorrow,
brokenness, sin they committed and wrong done to them. They were viewed as
property in their time, foreigners and unworthy to be associated with God’s
holy people. Yet through their broken crooked lives, God wrote a straight line
to His Son. There is no one too far, no life too broken, no situation too dire;
for God to redeem and bring beauty out of ashes. This is the God we worship and
who is still at work in our lives and the lives of the people we know today.
The last observation is that our
God knows the unknown and lives amongst the lowly.
We have talked about many of
the well known names so far. But there are many other names in the genealogy whose
names we hardly know and whose stories we do not know about. Yet they are here,
their names in the Holy Scriptures, passed down from generation to generation.
I don’t know about you, but
I’ve often struggled with the desire to be known, to be heard and seen. I want
to matter, invite me to the table, ask me my opinion.. And in today’s social
media age, it is easy to satiate that through Facebook or Tik Tok or Snapchat
or whatever platform to have our 5 minutes of fame. Look at me, listen to me,
because I matter!
But yet through these unknown
names by man and history, our Lord came. He knows each one of them by name, and
each of them matters to them. And so this is my encouragement to us – that when
you ever wonder if you matter, if you are known. Know that the Lord knows you.
He sees you and hears you. He has your name written in His name and in His Book
of Life. And that is what matters most.
And bringing it back to the
birth of Jesus.. Our Lord came quietly to the town of Bethlehem to be born in a
lowly manger. He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him. Nothing in His
appearance that we should desire Him. He lived as a carpenter, gentle and lowly
in spirit.
We have been studying the
beatitudes this year. Blessed are the poor in spirit, the ones who mourn, the
meek, those who hunger and thirst for righteousness – so it is my prayer that
as we look to the new year, this is the place we will start – celebrating the
humble birth of our king, and seeking to be like Him.
“Our days may come to seventy years or eighty, if our strength endures; yet the best of them are but trouble and sorrow, for they quickly pass and we fly away... Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom... Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love, that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days.” Psalm 90:10-14
God willing, the second half of my life is just about to begin. I am thankful to Him for shaping this blob of miry clay, to who she is today. Still lots of molding and chiseling to do, but He has done a mighty work in me in the last 40 years – and for that I want to praise Him with joy.
From my early childhood years of not knowing my Creator, He used Sunday School to show Himself to me. From a girl who was prone to steal and lie, the Holy Spirit used guilt to convict me of sin and my need for His light in my darkness. From a school girl standing by a pond, He gave me a yearning for the eternal – that there is “no point”, if this life was all there is.
From one who shocked herself at what her unchecked rage can make her do – scratch up her sister with broken glass and sweep things off her table; He showed me how ugly and depraved I could be, a danger to others and myself. From a teenager who struggled with body image and so many insecurities – He showed me that He is the One who makes me beautiful. From an adult sitting in a cab in Beijing all by herself in a city where no one knows her, He became my defining reality and sufficiency.
He redeemed my broken heart, and gave me Arthur. He brought me to a foreign land to teach me lessons that I would not have learnt otherwise. He deepened my understanding and faith through Trinity and the lives of the spiritual giants I get to hear from. He made me a mother to Mya and Elliot, and showed me what an abounding-in-love Heavenly Father I have. He made me learn forgiveness, and how Jesus paid it all. He blessed me with an imperfect church that I love and community. He entrusted me with responsibilities at church and at work, at such a time as this. He continues to bless me with my MooMoo who speaks blunt truth to my heart like no one else does, and my parents whom I pray I can love better in person than from afar.
Some women, when they reach 40 say that they are finally “comfortable in their own skin”. I think I can say that on most days… It’s not because I have reached a state of perpetual contentment (I wish!). But when His Word is my truth, He knows and loves me for who I am, He defines me; it has all been said and done. I just pray that I will continue to abide in Him, keep my eyes on Him, serve Him and live for Him… May He help me stay faithful and true to Him, and ready me to meet Him face to face when that day comes.
"What would Jesus do? Would He wear a mask in church today?" Mom asked as dinner wrapped up last night. The desired response in the context of the conversation would have been "Yes! He would! For the love of His neighbor and the weaker brother/ sister, He would!"
Pondering some more, I'm not sure He would... Because no virus could infect Him, nor could He carry the virus to another... He would have rid the virus for anyone around Him! I might not even wear a mask if Jesus is in church today; might not, need not, would not!
BUT Jesus has not yet returned. He has not yet established His decisive rule. So destruction, death and disease still runs rampant. And if WWJD is not a helpful question in this context, what should one do? Debate, divide and sow discord? I pray not! Even though the Bible is NOT explicit about Covid per say, biblical principles might be helpful. These are a few of our family's thoughts and are meant to be descriptive rather than prescriptive.
These passages have guided most of our thought process -
Romans 13:1 "Let everyone be subject to governing authorities"
1 Cor 9:19 -22 "Though I am free and belong to no one, I have made myself a slave to everyone, to win as many as possible. To those under the law I became like one under the law (though I myself am not under the law), so as to win those under the law. To those not having the law I became like one not having the law (though I am not free from God’s law but am under Christ’s law), so as to win those not having the law. To the weak I became weak, to win the weak. I have become all things to all people so that by all possible means I might save some...
1 Cor 10:31-33 "so whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. Do not cause anyone to stumble... For I am not seeking my own good but the good of many, so that they may be saved."
1. We decided as a family to adopt CDC guidelines in this area, since they are the authorities in public health.. So when they issued the new guidance a few weeks back, we decided to try our best to adopt it. Emphasis on try. Even though exemptions have been given to houses of worship in the States, this is not the case for most countries. If not for the politics behind separation of state and church in the US, may we gladly be subject to governing authorities in this matter since it does not contradict with our core beliefs.
2. Serving in children's ministry, all of the kids are not vaccinated. Even though not all of them are wearing masks and we are vaccinated, we wanted to do our little bit to not risk infecting them.
3. Masks wearers are a minority in the church, and we wanted to help anyone who felt more comfortable wearing masks to not be overly self conscious - that there are others who wear masks too! I have to admit that it has not always been easy, there is some peer pressure when the majority are not wearing masks.
4. The vaccination rate in Cook County is fairly low (around 50%), and that's probably not too far from where the congregation vaccination rate is. In light of this, for the protection of both the vaccinated and unvaccinated, it might be a wise and loving thing to use the means of masks, to do what we can to not contribute to the spread of the virus broadly.
5. For the medical professionals among our family and friends, for whom the battle with Covid is a daily reality... And for many other families who have suffered from or lost loved ones to Covid... This is just a very small way of showing solidarity.
6. I do think there is Christian liberty here, and if there is, how shall we use our liberty? Why not use the freedom to wear masks instead of not wearing masks? Why not use the freedom to do the less comfortable thing for oneself?
Christians have differed on so many issues throughout the centuries - from eschatology to baptism, from women's role in ministry to dress code... And where there are differences in the non-essential issues; we have debated thoughtfully, listened to each other carefully, and agreed to disagree gracefully. We stand united in the core tenants of our faith, and accept differences in interpretations and preferences. Vaccinations and masking up, these may have to be among such issues. For some, this may be where the rubber meets the road.
At the end of the day, the brother who is not vaccinated is still my brother in Christ. The sister who is masking up is still my sister in Christ. Nothing is more fundamental than how I view him or her - bought with the precious blood of Christ. We may have landed on different sides on this, but it will be the plank in my eye that I have to remove, if I cannot move past this speck of saw-dust in theirs. Nothing will threaten our unity in Christ, nor inhibit us from worshipping together. Nothing shall separate us, for God has joined us as One as the Bride of Christ.
For where I seek to love my neighbor in masking up, I must also seek to love my neighbor when they have a different perspective. And "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails." (1 Cor 13:4-8)
We were strangers, starting out on a journey. Never dreaming, what we'd have to go through Now here we are, I'm suddenly standing. At the beginning with you
The last 13 years of journeying went by in the
blink of an eye. Starting in Raycom Building ZGC, Beijing 15 years ago to
Barrington IL. We went from strangers in a foreign land, to getting more
accustomed to doing domestic life together. Striving for each day in parenting,
serving one another while anticipating how the other would predictably respond
and “fighting cleaner”. I love going through the million little small things in
life with you and learning how to help one another be a better spouse. I love standing
at the beginning of each day with you.
No one told me, I was going to find you. Unexpected,
what you did to my heart
When I lost hope, you were there to remind me. This is the start
It is not easy to find “our people” and much
less “my person”. I am grateful how closely God knits our hearts and minds
together. It is through the million little small and big conversations that I
know, there is no one else on earth who sees and knows my heart as clearly as
you. Be it navigating big topics like diversity, church and politics, the
medium ones like our cross cultural marriage, parenting and navigating future
dreams across geographies or the daily minutia of scheduling and my walks in
the parks... Your Christ-centeredness, humility and TGC and
wiki-pedia of a mind sharpens me.
And life is a road that I wanna keep going. Love is a river, I wanna keep flowing Life is a road, now and forever, wonderful journey I'll be there when the world stops turning. I'll be there when the storm is through In the end I wanna be standing. At the beginning with you
And through God’s active hand, we’re standing at the beginning of yet another cross-road, albeit a familiar looking one. There may be human wounds we sustained and human responsibility we must bear, but I trust God’s good sovereign hand in this. Even as you put our family first and view your highest calling to lead a quiet faithful life unto the Lord, my prayer is for you to use all the gifts that our good Father has so richly endowed you with to His glory and pleasure. That like Eric Liddell, you can say of your gift “God made me fast. And when I run, I feel His pleasure.” Not for people nor unto man, but for Him. And I am so glad to be standing at the beginning of this journey with you.
We were strangers, on a crazy adventure.
Never dreaming, how our dreams would come true Now here we stand, unafraid of the future. At the beginning with you
Happy Anniversary to my favorite fellow pilgrim and best friend! 13 years in and there is no one else I'd rather be making this journey with - with the twisty turns, speed bumps, uphill climbs, trudging through the desert, cruising by the coasts, riding through the plains and sometimes just being able to see the next step. Thank you for talking life through with me, and readying me for the Day I will stand before Higher Throne! I love you, very very very much!
To wrap up the Narnia series, this long overdue post will
help me remember some of my favorite moments in the last few books. Thank you
C.S Lewis for capturing my imagination, wrapping me up in a reality that is truer
than the one that I’m living in, feeding my mind and giving my heart a yearning
for what is most worthy to be longed for than all the desires in this world. I look
forward to meeting you some day in the new Narnia!
The Silver Chair
“I'm on Aslan's side even if
there isn't any Aslan to lead it. I'm going to live as like a Narnian as I can
even if there isn't any Narnia.”
“Suppose... suppose we have
only dreamed and made up these things like sun, sky, stars, and moon, and Aslan
himself. In that case, it seems to me that the made-up things are a good deal
better than the real ones. And if this black pits of a kingdom is the best you
can make, then it's a poor world. And we four can make a dream world to lick
your real one hollow.”
“Aslan didn't tell Pole what
would happen. He only told her what to do. That fellow will be the death of us
once he's up, I shouldn't wonder. But that doesn't let us off following the
signs.”
The Horse and his boy
“Onward and Upward! To Narnia
and the North!”
“But as long as you know you're
nobody special, you'll be a very decent sort of Horse, on the whole, and taking
one thing with another.”
"I was the lion who forced you
to join with Avaris. I was the cat who comforted you among the houses of the
dead. I was the lion who drove the jackals from you while you slept. I was the
lion who gave the Horses new strength of fear for the last mile so that you
should reach King Lune in time. And I was the lion you do not remember who
pushed the boat in which you lay, a child near death, so that it came to shore
where a man sat, wakeful at midnight, to receive you."
The Last Battle
“She wasted all her school time
wanting to be the age she is now, and she'll waste all the rest of her life
trying to stay that age.”
“Well done, last of the Kings
of Narnia, who stood firm at the darkest hour.”
"I have come home at last! This
is my real country! I belong here. This is the land I have been looking for all
my life, though I never knew it till now...Come further up, come further in!"
I’ve been delightfully wrapped up in the world of Narnia, as
I read the C.S Lewis classic to Mya and Elliot. Maybe it’s reading aloud, maybe
it’s because I’m older, maybe it’s because I know the Bible better; the
chronicles have become all the more precious, rich, layered and haunting at the
same time. The stories hearken truths in the Scripture, the words serve their purpose in the book but
also point us to the meta reality – beyond Narnia, beyond England, beyond the
reader’s world to the heavenly city in Aslan’s country.
Just as Aslan said to Edmund
at the end of “The Voyager of the Dawn Treader” - “This was the very reason why
you were brought to Narnia, that by knowing me here for a little, you may know
me better there.” Lewis has accomplished this purpose in spades.
***
Here are 2 of my favorite moments in Price Caspian.
“Aslan" said
Lucy "you're bigger".
"That is because you are older, little
one" answered he. "Not because you are?" "I am not. But every year you grow, you
will find me bigger.”
Lucy has in fact grown bigger. Yet in God’s grace, Aslan
seemed so much bigger. Aslan is the same, but Lucy now has clearer eyes to see.
For as a child, we see as a child. The same could not be said for Peter, Susan
and Edmund; who did not see Aslan initially. There were blinders in their eyes.
The effect of age for one, grew eyes of faith to see how much greater God truly is; and
yet for another, caused blindness and failure to see Him for who He truly is.
May I find you bigger with each year I grow Lord, and have
eyes to see You for who You are.
**
“Hush!” said the
other four, for now Aslan had stopped and turned and stood facing them, looking
so majestic that they felt as glad as anyone can who feels afraid, and as afraid
as anyone can who feels glad. … Then, after an
awful pause, the deep voice said, “Susan…. You have listened to fears, child,: said
Asland. “Come, let me breathe on you. Forget them Are you brave again?”
“And now, where is
this little Dwarf, this famous swordsman and archer, who doesn’t believe in
lions?” .. Aslan pounced. Have you ever seen a young kitten being carried in
the mother cat’s mouth?
The dwarf flew up
in the air. He was as safe as if he had been in bed, though he did not feel so.
As he came down, the huge velvety paws caught him as gently as a mother's arms,
and set him -- right way up, too -- on the ground. "Son of Earth, shall we be friends?"
asked Aslan. "Ye-- uh, Yes," panted the dwarf, for
he had not yet got his breath back.”
Susan throughout their journey to Aslan’s How refused to
believe Aslan was with them and guiding them. She insisted on following her instincts and
conventional wisdom, throwing shade on Lucy many a times. Trumpkin the Dwarf on
the other hand, did not and refused to believe that Aslan is real and exists.
Towards both, I shook my head many a times – “wait till you finally see Aslan! You
will have your reckoning!”
Aslan’s reaction caught me offguard. And once again I was humbled
and broken by grace. Aslan did not call them to account, not a chiding remark,
not a single word about how wrong they have been. He just embraced them, helped
them move past themselves towards a restored relationship with him. How foreign
grace is to those who want justice, how little did I understand grace. Is He really that good?
***
I have been surprised how The Voyage of the Dawn Treader has
captured my heart and imagination so deeply. Watching the motion movie for the
first time might have something to do with it. But I think it’s because life is
more like a journey with many twists and turns, ups and downs; than having
everything lead up to that one epic confrontation or climactic battle. The Voyage of the Dawn Treader's pacing might be atypical and odd at first read, but then you find yourself reliving the journey many times after you close the book.
**
“But who is Aslan?
Do you know him?" "Well-he knows me," said Edmund.
"He is the great Lion, the son of the Emperor-beyond-the-Sea, who saved me
and saved Narnia.” …
“Then the lion said
– but I don't know if it spoke – You will have to let me undress you. I was
afraid of his claws, I can tell you, but I was pretty nearly desperate now. So
I just lay flat down on my back to let him do it.
"The very first tear he made was so deep
and I thought it had gone right into my heart. And when he began pulling the
skin off, it hurt worse than anything I've ever felt. The only thing that made
me able to bear it was just the pleasure of feeling the stuff peel off. You
know – if you've ever picked the scab of a sore place. It hurts like billy-oh
but it is such fun to see it coming away.”
What a profound picture of the process of sanctification. Eustace became a dragon after having dragonish thoughts over treasure, he became what his heart treasured and he could not “un-dragon” himself. It is him surrendering to Aslan, letting Aslan do his work on him, that his scales were finally peeled away. And so it is for us - that Jesus has to come and peel away the idols that has enslaved us.
**
“Where sky and
water meet. Where the waves grow sweet. Doubt not, Reepicheep, to find all you
seek, there is the utter east.” …
“This,” said Reepicheep, “is where I go on alone.”.. Then
he took off his sword (“I shall need it no more, “ he said) and flung it far
away across the lilied sea…. Then he bade them goodbye, trying to be sad for
their sakes; but he was quivering with happiness.
Throughout the voyage, Reepicheep had one goal – to go to
Aslan’s country. He thought of it night and day, he sang of it, he would not be
deterred even if he had to paddle and go on alone in his little coracle. All he
wanted to do was to go to Aslan’s country. Oh, the joy he had when he finally
found it! He threw off his trusty sword that accompanied him on many battles, despite
the “unknown territory”, for he knew there was no more fighting in Aslan’s
country. As much as he loved his friends, he was ready to leave them all
behind; for all his life’s longing is now to be fulfilled before him.
I must confess that I’ve had many thoughts about what it
would be like to walk through the valley of the shadow of death – there is some
fear and trepidation and unshakable dread. On good days, the hope and joy of
heaven and seeing Jesus helps lift the dark clouds away. But this noble little
mouse, this little mouse with a lion’s heart, has challenged my love and
longing for heaven. Perhaps, if my life’s goal and true longing is to go to be
place where Jesus has prepared for us; perhaps, I might quiver with happiness
as I take my final breath.
***
Most people who know me, know that I love happy endings. But it's not just about happy endings, it is about certain, definite, sure, happy endings. When Aslan appears, the fight is over. There is certain victory. Light will triumph, darkness does not stand a chance. There is no faltering with my Hero from Heaven, He has won decisively and triumphantly. So why not happy endings?
Happy birthday! How is it that you are 5 already? What a fun day we've had with friends dropping by for a quick visit, just to celebrate you. We hope you know how blessed you are by God, the friends He has given you is just a small glimpse of that.
You have grown in so many ways this past year. Learning to sound out letters, ride your bike and scooter, roller blade, swim, memorize verses, use the Ipad (that did not take long) and more.
It makes me smile to see you enjoying books - My Father's Dragon, Mr Popper's Penguin, The Wild Robot and the many superhero books from the library; your superhero knowledge vault has quadrupled in size this year! I love that you share some of my favorite foods - pandan cake, orh-nee pancake and squid, to name a few. It tickles me that you cannot stop trying long words like "Anti-disestablishmentarianism" (this is probably the first time i've ever typed the word), supercalifragilisticexpelidocious, Tiki-tiki-tambo-no-sar-rambo-chari-bari-ruchee-pik-peri-pambo. I love to see you at ninja class, battle with Daddy, batting balls in the playroom and running laps around the kitchen. It makes me so proud to hear you talking to your teachers, friends, doctors, adults, anyone really. I love how you play with Mya - in fair weather, rain or snow, dance to Dyanamite and Imitator Tots. It's cute how taken you are with Reepicheep. I love your cheeky grin, smile and spirit. I love you!
And it is in love, that I hope and pray. That God will choose you, save you, justify you, sanctify you and use you. That God will make you know Him, love Him, fear Him, serve Him and enjoy Him. That God will bless you with wisdom and many talents, to be His light and hands and feet in this world, serving others. That God will mold you in His likeness, and be a man of integrity and noble character. That God will give you a love for His Word, that you will meditate on it day and night, and be like the tree planted by streams of water, yielding fruit for the Lord in season. That He will keep you from evil and harm (Psalm 1). For this year specifically, I pray that God will give self control - over your anger and tame the tiger that is crouching at the door by His strength; over your desire for screen time and discover the world He has given you; and over your physical impulses.
You have also grown me and are growing me in many ways. To not sweat the scribbles on the wall, not blink twice at the messes and not balk at the food, mud, clothes, soap or what-have-you trails that you leave behind; yet, how do I train you to be responsible? To find beauty in the blue tornados you draw. To trust God when you fall, fracture your pinky or need stitches on your chin; I'm still trying to learn how to raise a boy to be wild and safe. To get to know your quirks and triggers for you are uniquely made - when you are not saying what you would do; I can't discipline you like i discipline Mya can I? To stop working and spend time with you, for these moments do not last forever. You show me every day God's steadfast love, and grow me every day as I think about our Father's love for us.
I am humbled that God would entrust you with Daddy and me. I cannot wait to see the many ways God will grow you and me this coming year. I love you, son. Happy 5th birthday!
"Enter His gates with thanksgiving and His courts with
praise; give thanks to Him and praise His Name. For the Lord is good and His
love endures forever; His faithfulness continues through all generations.”
Psalm 100:4-5
“If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we
serve is able to deliver us from it, and He will deliver us from Your Majesty’s
hand. But even if He does not, we want you to know, Your Majesty, that we will
not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up.” Daniel 3:17-18
As I picture entering God’s gates with the “battle scars”
from this year of Covid, I am thankful for the refining that He has done this
year – not just to me, but for the world. Generations come and go, but He alone
is forever; His goodness, His love and His faithfulness. He deserves all
thanks, praise and honor; not for the deliverance and gifts He will provide,
but because He is worthy. This post will get too long if I list all the ways I
am thankful, but I will attempt to gather the threads that I think He is
weaving in this little life of mine this year and my hopes for the next.
Arthur and Marriage
The year started with a health scare that had Arthur having
to get an MRI on his brain. Even though there were no symptoms that warranted
fretting over, the optometrist’s concerns were enough to drive me to plead God
for more time with Arthur. And then Covid struck, my prayers for more time were
answered in an unexpected way. More meals together, time to workout in the
morning together, more relentless days juggling kids and work together, more tough
conversations; I’ve loved every moment of it. I am so very thankful for this
man who turned 40 this year, and pray that we will get to spend the next 40
years or more growing together.
There are 2 thorns in this bed of roses that I hope to work
on next year as a wife.
I was asked recently how a decision of mine would impact
Arthur and his calling. I have not thought about my role in his calling in a long time,
and this was a good wake-up call for me. I think this is why our tag-teaming
partnership has felt a tat lackluster. I want to spend less energy figuring out
our schedules to give each other time and space to work, and more time praying
for and helping with Arthur’s calling.
It was difficult to hear when Arthur shared that he is wary about
sharing some spiritual things with me, because of how this contrarian wife
would respond. Even though she has come a long way from giving too many "constructive criticisms" on
his sermons too quickly, and "crying foul" about him wanting to hold back; I want
to prove with time and gentleness, that my heart can sing with his on the
things that he hold so dear.
Kids and Motherhood
The parenthood train keeps moving forward and it feels like
we are at a new station. Mya’s silent treatment (I’ll pretend not to hear you
by not responding), logical deduction (“why do I have to listen to you?”, “seriously?!!”),
eye rolls and passionate cries for justice (“it’s not fair!”), is reminiscent of
my youthful antics; but isn’t this a little early? Like she is me from
yesteryear, I am my mother then. Homework sagas, yelling, nagging, impatient,
comparing her with others – God help me please! As for Elliot, the tiger within
still needs more taming and the bitter juice of shame extracting. So many times
this year, it feels like I’ve come to the end of myself and all I can do is get
on my knees.
Still, I am thankful to be their mama and grateful for every
day with them. The hugs and kisses, smiles and laughs, cries and tantrums, the
throw-ups, home-made videos, card/magic tricks, jokes, battles, pranks, games;
the way they take on a new challenge, language, experience or sport; the deeper
questions they are asking. I am thankful for the many ways they have inspired
me, challenged me to grow and gifted me with the colors they add to each day.
Lord, please help me treasure these days. To not be in a
hurry to move out of this station, but to lean into all the lessons that this
stop has to offer. To fix my eyes on you and not on others, to not make
comparisons and lose patience. Please use me to nurture these seedlings, so that
they can bloom and thrive for your glory.
