A year in years

This year has gone by all too quickly – with so much activity all around, too much work and too little here.

On the world stage, wars have broken out with Russia invading Ukraine and Hamas invading Israel. World peace seems more fraught than ever. Surprise fireworks one night had me worried about war possibly breaking out right in my neighborhood. Singapore’s reputation of a “clean government” was stained by political scandals and a new president was sworn in. Beloved Queen Elizabeth died and King Charles was coronated King.

⁶ You will hear of wars and rumors of wars, but see to it that you are not alarmed. Such things must happen, but the end is still to come. ⁷ Nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. There will be famines and earthquakes in various places. ⁸ All these are the beginning of birth pains. ~ Matthew 24

Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the Lord our God. ~ Ps 20:7

In the Christian world, Tim Keller died. He’s pastored me, taught me, and shaped me through his sermons and books; and though he does not know me, he’ll always be a pastor to me. The legacy that he’s left behind with TGC, and the many lives he has touched will live on. Thank you for making Jesus and the Gospel so beautiful and glorious for this generation and the many generations to come, Tim. I miss you!

“The gospel is that I am so sinful that Jesus had to die for me, yet so loved and valued that Jesus was glad to die for me. This leads to deep humility and deep confidence at the same time. I can’t feel superior to anyone, and yet I have nothing to prove to anyone.”

“The gospel says you are simultaneously more sinful and flawed than you ever dared believe, yet more loved and accepted than you ever dared hope.”

And in little world of the Kok family, Arthur and I are in our “teen years” now – 15 years of being married! Mya forayed into the double digit world into her “tween years” – turned 10, got her ears pierced, and got to read the Goblet of Fire. And dearest Elliot continues to keep me on my knees, begging and pleading with the Lord, ever the reminder that God gives us what we need.

The Lord has also blessed us with many wonderful memories – of first experiences like skiing and Mya’s first sleep away camp, of sneaking in some play in midst of work in London and Sweden, of playful summer vacations and road trips, of the magnificence of His creation like the Adirondacks and Niagara falls, of a lot of singing to musicals like Percy Jackson and Matilda, of movie night with The Mighty Ducks and The Chosen, of family visiting (thank you yee yee!)…

But of them all, our 15 year anniversary celebration at TGC conference was a highlight for the year. Many may think spending our 15 year anniversary at the TGC conference was an odd choice. But the Lord spoke to our hearts personally in so many ways on our journey leading up to it, refreshed us while we were there despite the stressful week with Cirrus going live and the Wheaton home-coming, and through the teaching on Exodus “Hope in the wilderness”. He reminded me of who my heart truly sings for, and living according to my priorities.

The year fleeted by all too quickly, but so full at the same time as I look back. So many lessons to ponder over, so much to give thanks for. And here’s my prayer as I look to 2024…

Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom. ¹³ Relent, Lord! How long will it be? Have compassion on your servants.¹⁴ Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love, that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days. ¹⁵ Make us glad for as many days as you have afflicted us, for as many years as we have seen trouble.¹⁶ May your deeds be shown to your servants, your splendor to their children. ¹⁷ May the favor^[a] of the Lord our God rest on us; establish the work of our hands for us— yes, establish the work of our hands.” ~ Psalm 90

13 years of our story in His Story

We were strangers, starting out on a journey.
Never dreaming, what we'd have to go through
Now here we are, I'm suddenly standing. At the beginning with you

The last 13 years of journeying went by in the blink of an eye. Starting in Raycom Building ZGC, Beijing 15 years ago to Barrington IL. We went from strangers in a foreign land, to getting more accustomed to doing domestic life together. Striving for each day in parenting, serving one another while anticipating how the other would predictably respond and “fighting cleaner”. I love going through the million little small things in life with you and learning how to help one another be a better spouse. I love standing at the beginning of each day with you. 

No one told me, I was going to find you. Unexpected, what you did to my heart

When I lost hope, you were there to remind me. This is the start 

 It is not easy to find “our people” and much less “my person”. I am grateful how closely God knits our hearts and minds together. It is through the million little small and big conversations that I know, there is no one else on earth who sees and knows my heart as clearly as you. Be it navigating big topics like diversity, church and politics, the medium ones like our cross cultural marriage, parenting and navigating future dreams across geographies or the daily minutia of scheduling and my walks in the parks... Your Christ-centeredness, humility and TGC and wiki-pedia of a mind sharpens me.  


And life is a road that I wanna keep going. Love is a river, I wanna keep flowing
Life is a road, now and forever, wonderful journey
I'll be there when the world stops turning. I'll be there when the storm is through
In the end I wanna be standing. At the beginning with you

And through God’s active hand, we’re standing at the beginning of yet another cross-road, albeit a familiar looking one. There may be human wounds we sustained and human responsibility we must bear, but I trust God’s good sovereign hand in this. Even as you put our family first and view your highest calling to lead a quiet faithful life unto the Lord, my prayer is for you to use all the gifts that our good Father has so richly endowed you with to His glory and pleasure. That like Eric Liddell, you can say of your gift “God made me fast. And when I run, I feel His pleasure.” Not for people nor unto man, but for Him. And I am so glad to be standing at the beginning of this journey with you.


We were strangers, on a crazy adventure. 

Never dreaming, how our dreams would come true
Now here we stand, unafraid of the future. At the beginning with you

Happy Anniversary to my favorite fellow pilgrim and best friend! 13 years in and there is no one else I'd rather be making this journey with - with the twisty turns, speed bumps, uphill climbs, trudging through the desert, cruising by the coasts, riding through the plains and sometimes just being able to see the next step.
Thank you for talking life through with me, and readying me for the Day I will stand before Higher Throne! I love you, very very very much!