Blessed Christmas!

 “Yes,” said Queen Lucy. “In our world too, a stable once had something inside it that was bigger than the whole world.” – The Last Battle, C.S. Lewis

Christmas has been made special this year by Hidden Christmas by Tim Keller, Pastor Tom’s sermon series on John the Baptist who came to prepare the way, getting to know Henry Wadsworth Longfellow better through “I heard the Bells”, Dallas Jenkin’s “The Best Christmas Pageant”, Angel Studio’s “David and the above quote by C.S Lewis.

I read a quote recently that “we suffer more in imagination than reality” by Seneca the Younger, a Roman philosopher. There is much truth in that, especially recently, as I ran through multiple scenarios of what-ifs with my work situation. But, yet, what have we without imagination? Without the ability to enter another world, to dream dreams, to contemplate the cosmic unseen reality.

The stable, the manger, the virgin
They held something within bigger than them
Someone who veiled His glory
God who put on flesh
 
The angels, the magi, the shepherds
They proclaimed news that rang through the ages
Someone who laid aside His deity
God who came to save
 
Herod, the innkeeper and I
Had no room for Him we say
Someone who threatened our kingdom
God whom we displaced
 
Faith, hope, trials
Lifts our eyes to the life beyond
Someone has made a way back to
God our Father Creator King
 
Love, joy and peace
We’re given something bigger this world
Someone who was and is and is to come
Jesus Christ our Lord and Brother

Community

 Poems from Martin Luther King Jr. Day at the Chicago History Museum

- From Mya

Community is where people live
The friends that lift you up day after day
The love, the care of your friends and family
These are your community

- From Arthur

A place of comfort and connection 

Of cringing and complexity

Busy and messy and beautiful

Diverse and united

Of belonging and becoming and believing

Where shared purpose and sacrifice creates safety

Where suffering creates strength

Where life becomes alive

Where we be known and know

Working together, stronger together, shining together

We are made to belong to one another

Community is destiny and sweetest reality

Community is home

- From Xiu

People we know

Places we go to

Sights we behold

Smells that fill our nose

The workers and first responders

The school, stores and hospitals

Kids playing, adults rushing by

The local bakery and its apple pie

The homeless in the corner

His bed that we just passed by

The creases that edge her eyes

Tobacco puffs and dinner from a new nights

Family, friends and familiar faces

Yesterday's wounds and hope for the future

Strangers becoming neighbors

The fragrance of Christ binding us together

- From Elliot

Elliot's First Words

“Shhhh….” Elliot picked up his shoes and brought them to us. Half tottering and half pointing at the door, he wants to go outside.

“Shhh…” He points to the fishes in the tank at the library. He spots the fish picture from a distance.

“Ddduc.. Dddduc” Elliot likes ducks A LOT. Ducks swimming in the river, ducks on books, ducks in songs. “Ddduc.. Dduc.. Dduc..” When a duck is in sight, he points at them vigorously and moves towards them as fast as his legs can carry him. Oh Elliot, be careful, don’t fall into the water!  

He is 2 words shy of the 5 that the pediatrician would like, and I wish Daddy and Mummy will be part of the mix soon. Even then, he is plenty communicative. Between his royal pointing and “uh..s!”, we hear you Elliot. We hear you and we love you!

***

Whenever I want to smile,

I think about him playing hide and seek with me around the kitchen counter;

I think about him playing tag with Mya in the living room;

I think about him playing ball with daddy.

Whenever I want to smile,

I think about him giggling while waiting to nurse,

I think about him giggling when we tickle him,

I think about him giggling when we laugh.

When I want to smile,

I think about him giving me his brightest smile.

I think about snuggling with him in bed.

I think about how blessed I am that he is mine.

Thank you God for giving him to us even before we knew him. We love you Elliot! 

Elliot is one!

Our little boy turned one. He’s been around for only 1 year, 9 months and 4 days.. And I cannot remember what life was like without him. Oh my little Elliot! You’re one already?!

You were always chill, even in my tummy. Thank you for an easy pregnancy!

You were a big baby when you were born. All the nurses could not believe how a tiny Asian mama like me can push out a 9lb baby. But I knew God gave us a strong sturdy boy.

You pooped the jaundice away, and braved all the blood tests like a champ.

When others asked me who you resemble, I always answer, “your sister”. You do! The shape of your face, your eyes, when you sit in the high chair, the way you both hate bibs and the crib. You’re also revealing quite a little temper – which is great because you’re no pushover!

Your smiles and giggles are infectious, so we let you get away when you showered us with squirts or tore daddy’s books. You’re an observant explorer, watching closely, imitating and getting into all sorts of new territory. You’re a careful adventurer, you want us to hold your hands as you lead the way. You’re an excellent communicator with your royal hand wave, stretched arms and finger point, oh and of course your cries too.  You’re getting playful, teasing us with your gurgles and peek-a-boos. You’ve started to sing but I wish you’ll coo “mama” soon!

God was kind, we were not first time parents when we had to experience a backful of eczema, hand foot mouth and roseola virus (103F fever and puking). You’ve strengthened our constitution and made me a medical online sleuth.

All these precious nothings and little somethings, they mean the world to me. I am so thankful to God for a little slice of heaven every time you are around me, when you rest your head on me, snuggle up in bed beside me, cling on to me like a koala and hug me. You make me feel more for all the babies out there without a home, you make me pray more because nothing is for granted, you make me love being your mummy. I love you Elliot! Keep growing in the love and fear of the Lord! 

Birthday album

Hey dear sisters...

For K

What is it that binds you to him?

Is it just fun? Is it his son?

Was loneliness too hard to bear?

What if there was another someone?

How does he cherish you?

Does he share your passion and dreams?

Can you talk about history with him?

Does he inspire you to be the best you can be?

If you had to choose between your family and him

Not that we will ever make you choose

But if you had to, how easy will it be?

Will it be ok if we don’t always see him?

Will you regret in years to come?

To have settled for the one?

Perhaps a bird in hand is better

Than two in the tree

**

For M

It’s hard to be away

But I don’t want to stay away

Is the only way to love to return

Can love not transcend distance

I want to listen to your heart

And hear your silent cries

Look deep inside

Where secrets and pain hide

You can choose who you confide

I will always stand by your side

Feel however you feel

Nothing will waver my commitment to you

Sisters are given

Precious from our Heavenly Father

I could not have chosen better

Than a sister like you

October milestones

There has been so many milestones this month, and I can’t leave one of my favorite months without a page.

Oct 6 – I turned 35, and am possibly nearing the halfway point for this life’s journey on earth. I have gotten into the habit of taking the day off, because I wanna find every reason to celebrate – with fanfare or quiet peace. It’s always worth breaking the routine, taking a pause and living life a little differently.

Standing where I am, I wish I had more close girl friends and my sister around me. And having my parents closer so I can be around them more. But the void is so fully filled by three of the best gifts God has ever given to me, and a church family that I am loving more and more. I cannot be more thankful to my Heavenly Father for His extraordinary grace.

How could I not leave my work behind to look into those hazel eyes

For the widest smile in the world to greet me

His enthused kicking feet and waving arms

For the song she wants to sing me

And the dance she wants to twirl around for me

For the safe place his presence is

How could I not leave the cares of the world behind

Nothing shall pull me away from simply being in ordinary grace

**

Oct 11 – Mya turned 3, and I took the afternoon off (again!) to hang out with her. And then we had a blast at her Dora themed birthday party. We are so blessed to have both family and friends around. And I am again floored by how abundantly God has blessed us with joy through this little girl. A few notes to self:

• Haircut: I think I’m gonna make it a tradition that the kids get a haircut on their birthdays.
• Party idea: Good to have games that both adults and children can play, and candy on cake is always a good idea.
• Cooking lesson: Don’t take the cake out of a hot pan! That was how I ended up with cake pops.

**

Oct 17 – Arthur and I dated for 10 years! I love hearing him tell the story of how he was so nervous the entire day asking me to date him that he got sick, and then between his muffled lines of asking me to go out with him knowing that he was interested, I just said “ok, I’m ready to be your girlfriend!”. And 10 years on, here we are..

**

And then the colossal curveball of a life changing news. My heart aches. Seeing the filth of sin up close and the stains that it leaves. How can God bear to love a filthy sinner and wash me/things clean? If He had not come down from heaven to the depths of humanity, or went through the depth of sorrow, or went down to the depths of the earth, how shall I believe that He can reach down to the depths to rescue and redeem our hearts? He did and can and shall!

This song has been an encouragement to me during this time, and I hope it will be for you too.

How can I...

How can I hold her tighter
How can I kiss her more
How can I cuddle her closer
How can I love her more

How can I squeeze her tighter

How can I tickle her more
How can I hug her closer
How can I love her more

Maybe when she’s older

Maybe when there’s more of her
Maybe after we’ve shared a thousand giggles
Maybe after we've hurt each other a million times
Maybe I’ll know then what I cannot imagine now
I can love her so much more

Happy 5 months, Mya! Our lives have been brighter because of you. We love you so very very much!

 

 Wahahahaha.. :)