Mini Tagboard

Hey there, since i am too unsavvy to be putting a tagboard on my blog, shall use this space to serve the same function too.

Hey Syl, thanks so so much for your comment!! Am sure Arthur's dying to respond to you, but he first has to deal with the frustration of being unable to log onto this blog first hehe..will leave you two to link up when you do :)
And you remember what you told me before i leave? what i want to say is that, that girl is back :) That she is so overflowing with thanksgiving and exclaiming how good her God is...
you all might not believe this, but true part of this joy comes from His gift in this amazing person He has just brought into her life... but even more so, the greater joy for me is to see His hand so clearly in all her life and be excited at the journey He has in store for her ahead.. more later.. but yeah, i just wanted to tell you that the girl you hope to see is back, and i hope you will stand in agreement when you see me next :)

And Xiying, thanks for sharing my joy... you are no less His encouragement and inspiration to me all these years.. plug on bro!! how are things? and how's soaking in all the wonderful teaching?? envious :) :)

By faith, not sight (I)

Bryan got a one-way ticket to China, just wanting to spend sometime here to pick up the language. Not knowing if he’ll like it here, uncertain of what lies ahead but decided to do it anyway, and I don think he has the money to buy a ticket home yet. This sounds like an insane idea to many. And I may well applaud it out of a carpe dium, cest la vie attitude. But his dare-to-do approach to life is honestly, not as mad as it sounds upon careful calculation. At the end of the day, what is the worst thing that can happen? Perhaps, totally dreading the life here. And so the worst scenario is just to spend sometime working to earn enough money for a ticket home, right? Even serving as a waiter, there will come a time when the dollars earned will be sufficient for a trip home.

Been thinking a bit about the difference between the “typical” American-free and Singaporean-safe approach to life. I guess much can be concluded simply by comparing a government that runs on a deficit vs a government that builds a surplus. This is not an economic discourse on which is better, but what I want to challenge (NOT repudiate) is the fixation of the society notions of “savings” and “security” I have been brought up under.

Savings is good, and prudent and necessary for a rainy day, for fulfilling family responsibilities, for special purposes, for a certain level of security. But is it a MUST to save to buy a flat? Can one not use what is within the means of one’s pay to rent one? How much shall one save for their children’s education? Can one not choose a school that the family can afford within its income? And of course one must realize that the above lifestyle is a living-out-of-each-month’s paycheck with little to contribute to a savings account. But even if so, what does it matter as long as one is not living in unhealthy debt? And how much does a fat bank account matter, when one’s life is taken away from him the next day?

Do not be mistaken, I am not condoning the economy built on credit, nor rooting for a “spend every cent you’ve got” kind of lifestyle, and sadly, not about to empty my bank account either (even though it isn’t much to begin with). But it is evident that when one worries about the rate of growth of one’s wealth, monetary decisions become a lot heavier. Whether or not to leave a high paying job becomes a lot harder. But when one has a simple lifestyle to begin with, one will realize that it is not as difficult to get by and the trade-off is just changing the size of the account balance from “L” to “S”.

Between the death of one’s dreams and one’s bank account, between a life lived fully and a life lived less than full, between the regrets at fifty “I wish I did that” and “I wish I had that”, how will the stakes match up? And when the stake is His dreams for you, and the choice is between a journey He has planned and a life you can work out with your hands and see with your eyes, what would you choose? By faith or by sight?

I am tempted to rattle on, but there is much much more in my heart and I shall save it for part (II). But I guess what I hope to do in the above, is to show anyone who might brand my considerations to “leave a high-flying career in Reuters” insane, I am NOT. Because even with a human eye, the cost is probably just a lower paying job, a smaller bank account, fewer & cheaper splurges, or at most a few years of my life~ if people in other parts of the world can be living by that, why cant i?
Nor am I acting on impulse, simplistically overlooking my responsibilities to my family- I am as committed as ever to providing for it and carrying the burdens as I am to do.

But I feel the time has come. Come for me to address the stirrings in my heart. The buried dreams that He might be resurrecting, the promises made in tears for so many years that He so graciously might be helping me fulfill… More later.

His plan for your mate

Everyone longs to give himself completely to someone: to have a deep soul relationship with another; to be loved thoroughly and exclusively. But, God to a Christian says, no, not until you are satisfied, fulfilled, and content with being loved by Me, alone. With giving yourself totally and unreservedly to Me. To having an intensely personal and unique relationship with Me, alone. Discovering that only in Me is your satisfaction to be found, will you be capable of the perfect human relationship that I plan for you.

You will never be united with another until you are united with Me, really united with another, exclusive of anyone, or anything else, exclusive of any other desires or longings. I want you to stop planning, stop wishing, and allow Me to give you the most thrilling plan existing...one that you cannot imagine.

I want you to have the best, please allow Me to bring it to you. Just keep watching Me...expecting the greatest things. Keep experiencing the satisfaction that I Am. And keep listening and learning the things I tell you.
You just wait, that's all...wait. Don't be anxious, don't worry, don't look around at the things that others have gotten or I have given them. Don't look at the things you think you want. Just keep on looking off and away to Me, or you will miss what I want to show you. And then, when you are ready , I'll surprise you with a love far more wonderful than anything you would dream of.

You see, until you are ready and until the one I have for you is ready, and I am working even at this moment to have both of you ready at the same time. Until you are both satisfied exclusively with Me and the life I prepare for you, you won't be able to experience the love that exemplifies your relationship with Me. And this is perfect love. And, dear one, I want you to have the most wonderful love.

I want to see in you, in the flesh a picture of your relationship with Me. And I want you to enjoy materially, the everlasting union and beauty and perfection and love that I offer you with Myself. I know that I love you utterly. I am El Shaddai-most loving Father, God Almighty. Believe it and be satisfied and I will satisfy you.

Author unknown

***

A friend sent me the above years ago. I usually pay little heed to those mass circulated "feel good" inspirational messages but somehow when i first read it, i remembered Him speaking. So despite the skepticism of this one with little faith, i saved it... and read it many times in my single days, praying "bring us together at Your time, when You have prepared us for each other".

And when you have found that someone who is the answer to your prayers and you know beyond doubt that He has brought him here, you find yourself on your knees... speechless...

So all i can say to those who are waiting, take faith and believe in Him... Not because of anything else, nor because of my testimony, but because He is as He says He is. Believe Him, believe that He loves you and believe that He has the BEST in store for you, just keep your eyes on Him and seek Him first.. And let Him take you round that corner, surprise you and sweep you off your feet. :)

At the beginning

It has taken me a while to start sharing about my new journey here. And like I said, this is just a start. And I have chosen to start because I know you who are reading this, is someone important to me and I want you to know; and this place where I share my deepest thoughts just would not be complete if I kept this part away. And so here I am, to tell you, that yes I have met someone.

Someone who has made me feel special like no other friend ever has. Someone with whom I have a connection with, like no other in all my life. Someone who overwhelms me with God’s goodness and plan that this is happening. Someone whom I know, knows and loves me for who I am. Someone whom I cant believe I have so much to talk about with. Someone whom I love being around. Someone whom I want something to be baking in this electric oven. That someone- hey there, please meet Arthur, Arthur Kok. (And I can say with 100% certainty that he wants to know you too, so say “Hi Arthur!”)

I know there are many questions- along so many different lines. Will answer them by and by. But for now, I just want to say I know you might be concerned. Worried that I might have rushed into things, worried that I might not know what I am doing being lonely and vulnerable in a foreign land, worried for me. But what I’ll ask that if you know me, trust me. Or at least trust His work in me, that He has made me complete in Him- that I am not “using another” to feel an emotional void; that He has caused His little one to grow up a bit- that I am keeping my eyes firmly fixed on Him and waiting on Him to work this out in a way that brings Him glory; that He has taught me much on relationships and has prepared me for him, for this; that His hand is in this.

I have been for a long time been shrugging away the possibility, because it is all too crazy… But that has ironically allowed a friendship to grow and blossom naturally. (Although I know he tells a different story) But today, am just confronted by Him- that I need to quit standing at the door and to eat from His table, the banquet where He has a feast that is beyond the best feast a human mind can imagine. That I need to dare to embrace the plans that He has in store, that I need to have faith and believe in His goodness to me, that I need to look away from me to Him. So although I have made the first step without you there, but He and some loved ones were. And henceforth, would love for you to be on this journey with us too.

Sorry that this entry has been a tat self-centered piece on relationship, and there are lots more i so so want to share- about him, about the hows and whys and blahs and blahs. Not too much too soon, gotta keep you in suspense. heh.

Right now, just moving along with the rhythm of this dance, praying that I’ll have you witness His miraculous choreography and cheering us on.

For all of you...

There is a Higher Throne

Keith Getty

There is a higher throne,
Than all this world has known,
Where faithful ones from every tongue,
Will one day come.
Before the Son we’ll stand,
Made faultless through the Lamb,
Believing hearts find promised grace,
Salvation comes

Hear heaven’s voices sing,
Their thunderous anthem rings through
Emerald courts and sapphire skies,
Their praises rise
All glory, wisdom, power,
Strength, thanks and honor are to God,
Our King who reigns on high,
Forever more

And there we’ll find our home,
Our life before the throne,
We’ll honor Him in perfect song,
Where we belong.
He’ll wipe each tear-stained eye,
And thirst and hunger die,
The Lamb becomes our Shepherd King,
We’ll reign with Him

***

Dedicating one of my favourite songs to a very special family of faith whom i have never met.

She has gone first before you to the throne that sits above all the earth. And there she stands before the Son in perfection, in all His glory- finding the fulfillment of all the promises she has held on to all her life.
Rejoice with the angels as she runs through the emerald courts and sapphire skies with them, walking the paths of gold beside the silver sea. She has found her home, her life before the throne, honoring Him in perfect song where she rightfully belongs.

He'll wipe each of your tear-stained eye that day when you see her again. Where all thirstings, hunger and longings of this world will pass away, and you will ALL reign together with our Shepherd King- bringing Him glory and honor.

Praying that the hope of an eternity spent together, will help you through the grief of this temporal seperation. And know that in moments of weakness when the pain of the loss is a starker reality than the kingdom above, He understands and His grace will be more than sufficient for you. Above all, give thanks for the faith He has given to her and each of you, that you can be sure of all that you hope for and be completely certain of the future that you cannot see- because He lives!

Have you ever?

Just some poignant moments over the weekend…

Ever waited for someone without feeling impatient? Appreciating the certainty of this wait because you knew you never have to wait too long and that he would definitely come by.

Ever stood "outside" and watch people scurry you by? Thankful that you have that moment to stand still to appreciate the city in its night lights, to wonder the destination of the passer-bys, and to feel blessed for people you have in your life. Thankful for each stranger who became a friend, for each person you crossed paths with because so easily they could just have been the one who walked you by.

Ever woke up in a cab looking out of the frosted glass into the rain? Wondering what life is all about and your place in this huge big world- where the clock keeps ticking, cars keep speeding and the world just keeps revolving. And the sweet joy whelming from inside because you are known by the One above, and you are not lost in the multitudes.

Family times in BJ

Collecting thoughts of my family’s (sans my little sister, bleah!) visit over the last two weeks. Too many precious memories, the pictures will do a better job of sharing the moments with you but here, I just want to leave trails of my heart strings.

After almost three months, I can finally do something I love to do back at home each day. A tiny ritual that is to me a simple pleasure of life, because it celebrates the existence of family and a place called home. Thanks to dad, mum and da-gu, I can step into my room after work, announce my arrival “我回来了!” and know for sure that this time, more than the four walls are there to greet me. Blessed, thank God for the family.

Dad has aged so much… As I review the pictures, it almost breaks my heart to see the lines crawling on his face. The face that causes his daughters to pine for his attention and love, the face that has brought the family much heartache and joy. Each time I hold his hand, look at him or talk to him, all I want him to know is that I love him so so much. And words that were missing this Father’s day finally found their way to my heart in certainty- that I would never trade him for any other person to be my dad. No matter what happens or how he fall shorts of the perfect father, he is MY daddy. i love you, papa...

Snapshot: I am preparing dinner for mummy, thankful that I can do something for her. Then Mum asked a couple of “irrelevant and redundant” questions, my eyebrows knit together and I feel a wild tantrum surging. Thank God for the Holy Spirit for self-control, so I answer her despite the urge to ignore and not answer her at all. Same old horrible me. witch :(
It is such a strange thing to be aware of His work in progress in your life. I want to kick myself for being so un-loving, and having so little of Christ in me yet. But I am thankful to see the Spirit that is at work within me, otherwise I would not feel bad at all. I pray for a day when I can take the naggings and ramblings of the older generation without a hint of impatience nor the need to control my bad temper.

Da-gu has been so apologetic and 客气 during her stay here. So much so it is painful. Is it the lack of love in her life that causes her to be unable to receive with an open heart? Always finding some way to return or repay? Always seeing herself as a burden and trying to keep out of people’s way? I wish she really knew that my brash-ness towards her is a result of the undoubting love I know we have for each other.

And now, just waiting for my moomoo to come visit me sooooooon……

Love (III)

Sharing a very sweet email from a friend... his favourite poem that spoke so much to me...

LOVE (III) by George Herbert

Love bade me welcome, yet my soul drew back,

Guilty of dust and sin.

But quick-ey'd Love, observing me grow slack

From my first entrance in,

Drew nearer to me, sweetly questioning

If I lack'd anything.

"A guest," I answer'd, "worthy to be here";

Love said, "You shall be he."

"I, the unkind, the ungrateful? ah my dear,

I cannot look on thee.

"Love took my hand and smiling did reply,

"Who made the eyes but I?"

"Truth, Lord, but I have marr'd them; let my shame

Go where it doth deserve."

"And know you not," says Love, "who bore the blame?"

"My dear, then I will serve."

"You must sit down," says Love, "and taste my meat."

So I did sit and eat.

"I'm not worthy to be delighted in. Confronted with Jesus's beauty and purity, I only think of how I have marred every gift he has ever given. I cannot look him in the eye. And when Jesus would invite me to his banqueting table, I'd rather linger at the back of the room and look from afar. Now, there is nothing wrong with admiring God from afar and praising him as if we were only a keeper at the door. Indeed, there is a beauty and joy in this that is sharp and dear to me.

Yet, in this poem, Love sweetly, insistently, inexorably breaks through the excuses of the speaker. Love understands that all the hesitancy is based on legitimate truths--yes we have marred the eyes he has given us--but he takes the blame. In the end, we are pulled to where we belong--eating the best of the best at the head table with the King, our Father. .... Doubt everything else in the world . . . but never doubt that. :)"

Psalm 23

Going through this video series “That the world may know” in small group now. It follows a group trip in Israel, looking at the nation n excavation findings to help us appreciate the cultural, physical and social context in the Bible better. This week, we looked at the wilderness and sheep rearing in Israel. And it shed an entire new light on Psalm 23.

“The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters”

The picture that so easily comes to mind reading that two verses, would be lush green fields and the sheep grazing in the abundant grass. But looking at Israel’s terrain, where brown is seen more often than green, it doesn’t take much to realize that THAT picture may not quite be David’s experience when he wrote the Psalm. And so Ray (the teacher) highlighted that the sheep needed the shepherd to lead them to a green pasture each day. Not so a case of “not being in want” because of the plentiful greens; but more so a daily trusting and following the good shepherd to bring them to what they need for each day.

And so is this not how it is with God’s provision in our lives? So often we lament that the Shepherd is not good enough because we are not in lush fields. But the Good Shepherd promises to give us our daily bread. And I shall not be in want because I know His grace is sufficient for me today. Wondering about tomorrow’s green pasture causes worry, but will the Good Shepherd not bring us to the green pasture tomorrow as He did yesterday and today?

Not just so for physical needs- but in everything. The grace to handle the challenges at work or in school, the strength to persevere in living by faith, the courage to face the unknown, the love for people around… He is Jehovah Jireh.

And in light of some of the “big questions” of life I am musing about, this comes as His comforting reply. Is it finally time for me to leave my job so I can spend more time in ministry? And where? In what capacity? Is He calling me to spend a bit more time in China? I will trust my Lord to lead me day by day, I shall just be faithful in being His silly little sheep, to see no more than His feet.

***

Incoherent Ramblings...

Feeling that I’m “in new grounds” in my walk with Him of late, grounds that I’ve never been before. A bit overwhelmed each time He would involve me, a bit excited and scared about the prospects that can possibly lie ahead, a bit thinking “He's too good to me”…
~
Feeling I am somehow “not getting Him still”. Realized I relate more to the woman who would gladly pick up scraps from under the table rather than as His princess. Though desiring to be sitting in His arms in eternity, I prayed from asking for a seat by His feet to being able to see Him from afar.

~

Feeling i need to fight the devil's lies and my insecurities to embrace the truth that I am really THAT special to Him.

He called me princess…

Have been getting more than my fair share of queries on my current MSN nick… So well in true celebrity style (how can I disappoint my fans :p), let me now make a public statement on that.

“Who called you princess?”
~ Two human voices were His agents that very special day… So in one way, yes, someone did call me princess- two very special people in fact. (you know who you are :) )But I need to confess that I didn’t quite feel like one when I heard them call me that.

“I am a princess because my Father is the King of kings!”
~ Then I remembered at about the same time last year, it was His birthday gift to me- a sermon and a shirt given by my sister with the above printed message. I remember the ordinary birthday suddenly coming alive. And this memory worked magic into the words that were sent to me this year.

“He called me princess”
~ I don even know what to say. He called me princess. And if there is one thing I dare speak of in the presence of this staggering grace… to my fellow brothers and sisters, He too says “YOU are MY little prince and princess”...

When God ran, when the Father rushes to the prodigal one, when the Most High picks up filthy pieces of clay and labels as His gems... He called me princess... His princess.

*crack*hatch*waaaa*

On this day that this dino has roamed the face of the earth for a quarter of a century, she’s got a couple of things bursting from within… so if you would feed her self indulgence, read on at your own risk!

so many times she’d picture herself at her last breath and wondered what life would look like then, and she realizes she has nothing she ever really owned nor had, save for her Maker, Potter and Shepherd. and nothing that really mattered at the end, save for the hope she has of waking up in eternal glory above. so for He who gave Himself to give her LIFE, she accords her biggest thanks… for the cross- the love, the sacrifice, the grace, the truth that it symbolize. THANK YOU.

she is their little princess and they’ve given her the best they knew how to… from life’s first breath they are His agents of life, provision, love and care… even more so His vessels to form Christ within her. even through storms and angry words, she knew they’d always be there… and it hurts to know that she has never loved them enough. so to her king and queen, thank YOU.

for who she is and all that she means to her, she is her star, her joy and pride. always at the receiving end of her whinest whine, darkest thought, deepest cry, maddest blow… she is overwhelmed that one would know her all her life and be there to love this ugly duckling still. She is to her His best gift to her ever. to her baby sister, thank YOU.

she continues to be amazed at those who want to be her friend. why they would choose to associate with her and set their affections on her puzzles her. why would they sense her absence or want her in their life is bewildering still. those who have come and gone, those who have stayed for a little longer while, those who will always have a special place in her heart and life no matter what, those who have grown so important, she is humbled and blessed by their presence. They are His amazing grace. Thank YOU.

dear Jesus, thank you for your faithfulness and goodness and i am just overwhelmed by how good You are to me. why you would love someone like me i'll never understand... and why would they love someone like me i'll never understand. please bless and keep the one who is reading this, and i pray Your best for them. i love them, i really do. help me love them more with my life each day...

p/s: so sorry am not able to do anything for you guys back at home this year, nor bake for those whom I have promised a year ago… but it’ll just be late, promise. :) good things are worth waiting for right??? heh…
and to those who have waited by the phone last night, so sorry.. internet connection was down!!but the thoughts are received and cherished...

Updates 5-min

I know i seem to have disappeared from the radar for a long time now... so here's a quick low-down on me, myself and I... just so you know i'm still alive... :p

first thing... i look like an ah-lian now... boo-hoohoo.. just when i thought no more crazy stints after that purple fringe.. i am now carrying red streaks in my locks... :s lost in translation... sigh...

and well my i'm mighty glad that dad, mum n da-gu are in BJ with me right now... it's been such a wonderful time thus far... being able to spend time with them, to cook for them, to bring them around, to show them that this little girl has grown up, to talk to them... deep conversations, stories i've never heard before, one too many emotional moments... thank you Daddy for these few days that will always remain in our lives... and little miss moo-moo, i'm missing you heaps!!!
just wanna take this chance to also say THANK YOU to someone who so graciously sacrificed his holidays for my folks~ thanks!!! 谢谢!!! merci!!! terimah-kasih!!! arigato!!! (hahaha, i can do it here coz it's MY domain)

million dollar question i've been getting... if i will be back in november... very honestly at this point in time i need to confess that i'm not sure... chances of my boss asking me to stay on is kinda high... so the window is there but of course that's not the point... i'm still waiting, waiting on Him to show me His way... if He opens up this door, am i to walk through it.. please pray along with me...

as for ministry... am really excited about how the international student's ministry is slowly taking shape-lots to say but need to pray lots more. the challenges of this ministry in Beijing is unique as compared to the "successful" models in UK or Aussie... the profiles of the students are very much different and very much more varied... it's my heart not to simply replicate the "tried and tested" models but that the work we do through this channel will truly be life-changing, so that the students will go back and carry on the work to transform and touch lives for Christ :)

and work's just pretty much, work :p

okie more than 5min now... gotta go zzz...

Beijing in Fall

I love the streets of Beijing in fall. No the leaves have not turned red and are not all falling yet- though I’m sure by that time I’ll be one mad lark, and no the weather aint at its best albeit the more frequent blue skies... What's making me fall in love with my "first full autumn experience" already?

Bountiful fruit carts with the last harvests of peaches, plums and grapes,
Caramelized fragrance of roasted chestnuts,
Dried fruit cakes made by the 少数民族,
Sweet sweet aroma of the sweet sweet potato…

Even though my bravado to take an unfamiliar bus route yesterday landed me with an unforgettable trip all right, there are still plenty of reasons to smile myself silly as I walk down the streets of this city…

Ovens :p

Listening to John Ting's sermon on "Singleness" this week. An analogy he gave in it totally cracked me up this morning. He said: men are like the microwave oven, quick to heat up but quick to cool down; women however are like the electric oven, slow to heat up and slow to cool down as well. Hmm.. so what will the guys say?

Anyhow will strongly commend one to download this sermon from the ARPC website. One of the most honest and practical sermons i've heard on the topic- the whole issue about conducting men-women relationships in the family of God, struggles when tension arise and what to do when sparks fly :) Very real, very honest, very helpful- and not to mention the feeling of home it brings :p

Pearlies 2

“For I desire mercy, not sacrifice, and acknowledgment of God rather than burnt offerings.” (Hosea 6:6)
~ reading Hosea for QT this week, and I am simply overwhelmed when reminded of the intense passion and compassion of our God… the fury and heartache that is so evident in His judgment of Israel, the heart-wrenching decision to allow His children to fall…
Because we in our limited human capacity finds it hard to muster such intensity in our emotions all the time, we incapacitated the God of love too… And then in our flawed view of Him, deny ourselves of a fiercely passionate relationship with Him. Will you believe He loves you more than you imagine, will you trust He hurts more than you do when you’re aching, will you have faith that He desires the world for you?

Dance like no one is watching. Sing like no one is listening. Love like you've never been hurt and live like it's heaven on Earth. (Mark Twain)
~ I love the spirit that lives behind this quote. To embrace life for what it is, with all you’ve got. To always be present in the moment.

Maybe our mistakes are what make our fate. Without them, what would shape our lives? Perhaps if we never veered off course, we wouldn't fall in love, or have babies, or be who we are. After all, seasons change. So do cities. People come into your life and people go. But it's comforting to know the ones you love are always in your heart. And if you're very lucky, a plane ride away. (sex and the city)
~ Pretty thoughtful but still it betrays a sense of sadness and helplessness. But a pretty real picture of our lives aint it? Only, I don believe in mistakes. Mistakes cause regret, I don like to regret. Anyway, I love the girl who shared this with me :)

He is my God

***

“Here I am to worship, Here I am to bow down,

Here I am to say that you’re my God…”

Struck me as I was singing this on Sunday- who am I that me saying “you’re my God” matters at all? He is God, regardless of what I say. He is God, regardless of what the atheists insist. He is God.

But yet He chooses to say “you’re my child”. Still He chooses to say “you’re worth it”. And He went all the way to the cross to say “you’re mine”.

Bowled over Father, completely.

“You have won my heart and I am Yours forever and ever, help me love you”

***

...

i would not force you to talk when you didnt want to, but will always be here to listen when you finally want me to.
i would not force you to do things you didnt like to, and will try my best in human capacity to fill the gap should i need to.
i would never judge your priorities by your decision nor your situation, but would try to understand and accept you as you are.
i would not love you, albeit in my very flawed way, and expect you to love me the same.

牧师娘 told me some time ago that how we treat others is how we hope others to treat us too. i remember telling her then that I had no claim on anyone and cannot expect them to do the same as I do for them. Not that my way is good or noble (far from it!!) but I guess deep inside, she knew better.

I want so bad to love everyone the same with the love He has given me- unconditional love, unceasing grace. To know and accept the person for who he/she is, to love him/her as He would. I think I have been scarred by each time I fail to do the above for my loved ones, and each time my secret hopes return in shatters. I know I should not be if my source of strength comes from Him- and sometimes I feel I can do it. But just at this moment, I am afraid. Afraid of going home.

Subway Day

Reminiscing my subway sandwich… Turkey and ham with warm lightly toasted honey oat bread, veges, tomatoes, lots of pickles and olives, laced with honey mustard.. yummilicious!! Dreaming of my next sandwich meal already… Subway club maybe, or perhaps Italian meatballs if I feel like a hot sandwich, or maybe roast beef… yes, all too familiar.. it’s Subway Day!! Yayyyy!!!!!

Just for the record, I’m officially tired of “Chinese” food for a while. “No more Chinese food ppppleassse!!!” Have had my first Mac Donalds’ last weekend (really cheap here!! after conversion that is), and am all into Japanese and Korean these days… Head over heels over them man.. But a pity that the Bimbimbap sauce here has no kick.. haiz.. saving my next Bimbimbap for Auntie Kim's.. heh :)

Perhaps its time for my pasta and steak soon hahaha… and even maybe KFC… One TOO many entrees on food.. i know i know... bleah :p

Happy Bday!

Don't worry about that extra line

That's creeping up upon your face

It's just a part of nature's way to say you've grown a little more

Trees have rings and thicker branches

Kids shoes get a little tighter

Every year we're getting closer to who we're gonna be

It's time to celebrate the story of how you've come to be

xxx

Happy Birthday, my friend

Here's to all the years we've shared together

All the fun we've had

You're such a blessing

Such a joy in my life

May the good Lord bless you

And may all your dreams come true

***

So light a candle on your cake

For every smile you've helped create

For every heart and every soul you've helped to grow

A little more

A few more pounds, a little more grey

Don't count the years, just count the way

It takes a little time to go from water into wine

Don't ever lose the wonder of that child within your eyes

^^^

Happy Birthday, my friend

Here's to all the years we've shared together

All the fun we've had

You're such a blessing

Such a joy in my life

May the good Lord bless you

And may all your dreams come true

Play play play

Been getting quite a lot of questions about my MSN nicks lately.. hehhe.. so thought i'd just explain myself here so you'll understand that "playing with my Bible?" and "playing with Jesus?" is neither a sign that i now treat His Word lightly, nor a chiding question to send Christians who might not be walking with Him on a guilt trip... Just something inspired by the sermon series i'm listening to right now.. Christopher Ash's series on Psalms 119- thanks to my dear Gracie who bought it for me & Edmund who delivered it here ;p

We play with things we enjoy- don't we? We fidget with our gadgets, play with our pets, cuddle our toys, play sports, fill our spare time with all these little "play" things... We love what we play with... And we play with people we love. We want to hang out with people with whom we enjoy their company, we desire to be doing things with them, we love to spend our free time with loved ones... you can see where this is leading to... :)

The nicks' are just reminders to myself really- if i love His Word so much to play around with it, to make it the object of my enjoyment and i long to spend my free time soaking in the Scriptures..
and if i love Jesus so much that i "play" with Him- that every moment of the day is spent with the MAN in my life.. not just wishing Him "good morning" and "good-night" but be having Him in the every fabric of my thoughts when i'm awake...

Playing with your Bible? Playing with Jesus? Play play play!!!