i would not force you to talk when you didnt want to, but will always be here to listen when you finally want me to.
i would not force you to do things you didnt like to, and will try my best in human capacity to fill the gap should i need to.
i would never judge your priorities by your decision nor your situation, but would try to understand and accept you as you are.
i would not love you, albeit in my very flawed way, and expect you to love me the same.
牧师娘 told me some time ago that how we treat others is how we hope others to treat us too. i remember telling her then that I had no claim on anyone and cannot expect them to do the same as I do for them. Not that my way is good or noble (far from it!!) but I guess deep inside, she knew better.
I want so bad to love everyone the same with the love He has given me- unconditional love, unceasing grace. To know and accept the person for who he/she is, to love him/her as He would. I think I have been scarred by each time I fail to do the above for my loved ones, and each time my secret hopes return in shatters. I know I should not be if my source of strength comes from Him- and sometimes I feel I can do it. But just at this moment, I am afraid. Afraid of going home.
2 comments:
But what is unconditional love, God's unconditional love? Is it a love without expectation? Without hope for change or growth or the very best that His grace and plan have for us? And yet he loves us just the way we are. How does God do it, huh? How does he walk the line between loving us as sinners and never, ever, ever being content to let us stay in the dust of our despair or sin? And in our lives and our loves . . . is it wrong to have expectations? To hope and expect and want and yearn to be loved as we would love? Is love ever really one-sided or just reactionary? (Isn't that just pride, a way of saying that I can give and don't need to receive; I can love with no need for response?) Isn't love, instead, safe and freeing and warm and involves confidence and expansion and inspiration? Isn't it two-sided and transforming and ever-growing? Isn't THAT the pattern of our relationship with God? When we see him, WE WILL BE LIKE HIM! He doesn't leave us as we are. He loves us with expectation--that's "God-love". Your secret hopes are God's secret hopes too. And, praise be to him, he gave his very life to make them come true.
He loved the world, hence He gave His Son freely. He did so knowing some will spurn His grace, and He chose to give us free will still. But to those who respond and are His, the expectations are then founded on the relationship we have. But don ask me how can He love sinners like us so passionately, and endure the nails we drive into His hand each time we fail.. He is that BIG and amazing, that's why He is LOVE.
i think i dare hope and expect only from those i know loves me back. But i know what you're saying :) not the first to chastise my warped view of love n relationship..
positively, i hope to love sacrificially like Him but negatively it may be a defence mechanism. pray the Lord of our hearts will refine it and make it true.
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