By faith, not sight (I)

Bryan got a one-way ticket to China, just wanting to spend sometime here to pick up the language. Not knowing if he’ll like it here, uncertain of what lies ahead but decided to do it anyway, and I don think he has the money to buy a ticket home yet. This sounds like an insane idea to many. And I may well applaud it out of a carpe dium, cest la vie attitude. But his dare-to-do approach to life is honestly, not as mad as it sounds upon careful calculation. At the end of the day, what is the worst thing that can happen? Perhaps, totally dreading the life here. And so the worst scenario is just to spend sometime working to earn enough money for a ticket home, right? Even serving as a waiter, there will come a time when the dollars earned will be sufficient for a trip home.

Been thinking a bit about the difference between the “typical” American-free and Singaporean-safe approach to life. I guess much can be concluded simply by comparing a government that runs on a deficit vs a government that builds a surplus. This is not an economic discourse on which is better, but what I want to challenge (NOT repudiate) is the fixation of the society notions of “savings” and “security” I have been brought up under.

Savings is good, and prudent and necessary for a rainy day, for fulfilling family responsibilities, for special purposes, for a certain level of security. But is it a MUST to save to buy a flat? Can one not use what is within the means of one’s pay to rent one? How much shall one save for their children’s education? Can one not choose a school that the family can afford within its income? And of course one must realize that the above lifestyle is a living-out-of-each-month’s paycheck with little to contribute to a savings account. But even if so, what does it matter as long as one is not living in unhealthy debt? And how much does a fat bank account matter, when one’s life is taken away from him the next day?

Do not be mistaken, I am not condoning the economy built on credit, nor rooting for a “spend every cent you’ve got” kind of lifestyle, and sadly, not about to empty my bank account either (even though it isn’t much to begin with). But it is evident that when one worries about the rate of growth of one’s wealth, monetary decisions become a lot heavier. Whether or not to leave a high paying job becomes a lot harder. But when one has a simple lifestyle to begin with, one will realize that it is not as difficult to get by and the trade-off is just changing the size of the account balance from “L” to “S”.

Between the death of one’s dreams and one’s bank account, between a life lived fully and a life lived less than full, between the regrets at fifty “I wish I did that” and “I wish I had that”, how will the stakes match up? And when the stake is His dreams for you, and the choice is between a journey He has planned and a life you can work out with your hands and see with your eyes, what would you choose? By faith or by sight?

I am tempted to rattle on, but there is much much more in my heart and I shall save it for part (II). But I guess what I hope to do in the above, is to show anyone who might brand my considerations to “leave a high-flying career in Reuters” insane, I am NOT. Because even with a human eye, the cost is probably just a lower paying job, a smaller bank account, fewer & cheaper splurges, or at most a few years of my life~ if people in other parts of the world can be living by that, why cant i?
Nor am I acting on impulse, simplistically overlooking my responsibilities to my family- I am as committed as ever to providing for it and carrying the burdens as I am to do.

But I feel the time has come. Come for me to address the stirrings in my heart. The buried dreams that He might be resurrecting, the promises made in tears for so many years that He so graciously might be helping me fulfill… More later.