In the New York Subway

I was in the New York subway. Across from me, sat a man dressed in red. He started spewing profanities at the lady standing in front of him. He pushed her, and then she pushed him; and they started yelling at each other. At one point, she tried to get him off the train by holding it up; but nothing happened. Another passenger shouted at him to get off but to no avail. I looked at him, and at her, and all around, and then I looked down on my phone.

He did not seem unstable, but clearly not rationale either. He was playing video games on his phone, and was triggered the well dressed lady for some reason. He was not one to listen or be reasoned with, would me saying anything to him make a difference? Why yell at the gong to stop?

She stood her ground and did not back down. It would have been easier to walk away from the mad man. She probably felt betrayed by the train full of passengers, no one stood up for her, at least not soon enough. She stood alone. I wanted to say I’m sorry I did not stand up for her, or let her know that I was on her side. Would not engaging and changing cars be a sign of weakness and cowardice?

The witnesses heard them. But we were all by-standers. It was uncomfortable but we shrugged that off anyway. We understood why she held up the train – despite the inconvenience of delay; but we did nothing to get him off either. Were we weighing the cost of getting involved? Or playing things out in our head to what end? Did we not want to add fuel to the fire, or not care enough?

What I’d like to do when faced with this again, is to let her know she’s not alone, to at least plead with him to stop, and perhaps shine a little light amongst the silent crowd.