Happy 10th Birthday, Elliot!

 Happy belated birthday, Elliot.

You’re 10 years old! How did the decade just fly us by.

I remember so vividly the first few days, when you came out all bruised. And then we had to return to the hospital again for your UV treatment for bilirubin. All the pricking on your little heel for the tests. Sometimes I wonder if those early days of physical scars somehow scarred your heart too.

This past year, you’ve given me so much and helped me grow. Though I sometimes feel inadequate and unsure if I’m doing right by you as your mother, I know that God has given us to each other and you drive me to Him. You keep me grounded and expose my sin, and remind me of my constant need of Jesus. I have fears and worries about how you’ll turn out, I can only pray that by His grace and mercy, He’ll save you and give you faith, so you’ll grow to be the man that God has made you to be – in the image of Christ and not anyone else. Even though you may in your outward appearance look like Gong Gong, you will be so different inwardly because Jesus stepped into our family tree.

Because of you, I actually understand and enjoy American football now – after more than 15 years of living here in the US! It amazes me how much you know and remember about the stats and players, how you love talking about it and playing with Daddy all the the time. And your first touch-down in the fall season. What a day that was! Your athleticism and passion for sports is something I admire. I pray you’ll grow more in sportsmanship and in the many lessons God can teach us through sports!

Your friendship with River and Luke is rather precious to me, and watching you play so easily with Brayden and other (6-7) kids warms my heart. Your exasperation with “bossy girls” makes me giggle, but you can be so sweet to them too. I pray you’ll grow to be a good friend like Jonathan was to David, and that God will bless you with godly friends who will spur you on toward love and good deeds.

You enjoy Jane Austen movies because of Mya, and I think K-pop demon hunters, Percy Jackson, Greek mythology, Zombies, Six the musical and boy bands were somewhat her influence too. Watching old videos of you both – you were always watching her, following her and wanting to copy her. Even some of your mannerisms, are mirror images of her. Love each other well, as you grow up together. Even though you like to press each other buttons, I pray that you’ll love one another all the days of your life.

You love to read, and are quite the reading machine. Whether it’s the Green Ember series, Harry Potter, graphic novels or the Action Bible, you get into the stories so much. I pray that the stories will help you see another point of view and step into the character’s shoes, to teach you empathy. And at the end of the day, to see His Story as the greatest adventure and love story of all.

You can be so tender hearted sometimes. Being sad when Spotty was lost, and wanting me to get you another Spotty. Adding Zeus the Panther and Puca the Ram to your bedtime buddies. Tearing up at the movie David. And then sometimes you can be such a tornado, ripping through your room! What is it that sets you off from 0 to 100, wouldn't you give us a chance to pause and talk? Thank you for the chance to circle back after the storm. I pray you'll grow in self-control and we can grow together in proportionate response. 

I love seeing you and Dad play. We both love you so much, and he loves you so so very well. Whether its soccer, football, basketball or hockey, you keep him moving! He works with you through your anger outbursts, reads to you, talks so patiently to you. I know it does not always feel like that, but I pray that as you look back on these days, you see a Dad who is lovingly devoted to provide a safe space for you to express all that you’re feeling, ask all that you’re wondering, and explore everything about manhood.

I’m sorry about the times when I lost my patience and my cool with you, or said things that might have hurt you. I pray that times of my intentional discipline will outnumber times when I was truly mad. Know that every no and correction, was done out of wanting the best for you. I love you so very much, son. You are part of this family, this tribe. There is nothing you did, do or will ever do, that will disqualify you ever – even you wanting out or running away.

We celebrated your double digit birthday at Bowlero with friends from church and school. I hope you had fun that day, and know that you have people around you who wants to celebrate with you – for you are fearfully and wonderfully made by Him. I love you, my little man.

“Blessed is the one who does not walk in step with the wicked, or stand in the way that sinner take, or sit in the company of mockers, but whose delight is in the law of the Lord, and who meditates on His law day and night. That person is a like a tree planted by streams of water ,which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither – whatever they do prospers. Not so the wicked! They are like chaff that the wind blows away. Therefore the wicked will not stand in the judgment, nor sinners in the assembly of the righteous. For the Lord watches over the way of the righteous, but the way of the wicked leads to destruction. ” ~ Psalm 1