The Miry Clay in the Potter's hands goes through the sculpting of His hands and the furnace of His fire to become His jar of clay. For noble purpose or the ordinary, He alone rightfully decides. Of grime and mud, only the Loving Potter will take & create, only the Skillful One will make a masterpiece, only the Faithful will strive to keep it soft till the end.
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Speechless
But it is cruelty when she was asked to type the letter. Tears started streaming down her face when she tried to put the words on paper. Words she's been saying easily...and foolishly.. She realized that she could not do it. And if she could not contemplate the idea of them being divorced, what is to be said of her mother in pain?
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Chicken Soup in a can
My most loyal fan is prob not too thrilled about this entry since he was the one who sent it to me :p I cant do anything about my physical condition except to wait for Daddy to heal me.. But the below is like my chicken essence for the soul. I try to read it every now and then to take me out of me "burn out from work mode". It's worth reading once a week! Enjoy :)
Written By Regina Brett, 90 years old, of The Plain Dealer, Cleveland , Ohio"To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me... It is the most-requested column I've ever written. My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more:
1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone...
4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first pay check.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don't compare your life to others.You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood.. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words ’In five years, will this matter?'
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
33. Believe in miracles.
35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood.
38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d grab ours back.
41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
42. The best is yet to come.
43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
44. Yield.
45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.
Don ask me where 8, 15, 34 are... I'm not changing the numbers coz i like 45 better than 42.. hahahha
Friday, November 20, 2009
Random Musing
***
Work has been taking up a lot of my time. There are people who bemoan that they are busy, but secretly love the sense of importance that comes with it. I hate to admit that I’m busy, and am ashamed to be living the hypocritical life. I say relationships are important to me- but yet I spend most of my time doing work that I believe deep in my bones has no eternal value.
Most of my week nights, I have dinner, go into my room and work on the computer or talk on the phone till it’s bed time. My family’s just in the next room and my husband’s on the same bed- but yet my focus and attention is on people more than half the globe away. People whom I enjoy working with, but people who matter much less than those whom I have with me. Irony.
Friday, November 13, 2009
Marriage Musings
My faith is weak. If even with such a Perfect Lover like God, man could still be tempted by the world- what hope do I have in the imperfections of a mortal husband, to not be lured by other pleasures. If even with an unceasing, unconditional Love, I can still spurn and choose to hurt Him- what hope do I have in my wisdom and ability to do love Arthur rightly. When I observe the people around me, what are my chances of winning the battle of having conversations that matter with Arthur- instead of talking about the kids, weather and everything else that doesn’t really matter.
That’s why my faith is not in my love for him, nor is my hope in his love for me. My eyes cannot be on Arthur, nor thoughts be on myself. Faith needs to be on the Faithful One, who will not fail our hope in Him. When our eyes are fixed on Jesus, He will lead us to think about how we can love and serve the other. God in His grace and mercy, will keep us loving Him till the end. And only in so doing, can weak humans have the hope to truly live out the purpose He intended for marriage- and bring Him glory.
Sunday, November 08, 2009
Life Group musings
There is nothing wrong with that- and in fact it is a gift, that God brings people into our lives whom we can form relationships with so effortlessly! But in a Christian group, what should our culture be? What culture should we try to cultivate? What culture would I want my group to be known for? What matters more?
What was Jesus’ small group like? Let’s see… Fishermen, tax collectors, zealots,… I wonder if small group co-ordinators today would put the fish-monger and finance people in the same group? Did Matthew and Peter speak the same language- would they have associated with each other if Jesus had not called them as His twelve? Perhaps not? Definitely NOT. But they survived living 24/7 together for three and a half years, and in whatever dynamics they had, they all lived for the One who mattered- except for one.
Were all of them of the same maturity and had the same intimacy with Jesus? I don’t think so- there was the inner circle of 3 who knew the deeper things. But Jesus still taught them the same truth when He spoke. He spoke to some on the side at times, but the most important things He taught them all. Some got it more than others, some might get it later than the others.
I’ve had many different convictions and learnt many lessons over the years as I led small groups. I need to admit that it’s easy to fall into the temptation of wanting members to like the group, to want to be part of it, to own it, and to like me as their small group leader. Not that all things are not important or illegitimate, except the last one of course. But I imagine looking back in the future, and what would I be most proud of? That everyone had a good time while it lasted? That’s so small, too small.
I would trade a distinct small group identity, I would trade a unique culture, I would trade group unity, I would trade warm fuzzy feelings & nostalgic memories…
In exchange if the group could be identified as followers of Christ by the lives we live on our own and with each other, if each time we gathered it was a unique moment in our weekly routine that we came face to face with Christ in His Word and each other, that our unity be found in Christ and Christ alone, and what we hold on to is living for His Kingdom till He comes again.
Friday, October 23, 2009
You Belong with me
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Reflections on Oct 17
Before we started dating, Arthur said “As a man, I want to be able to give my wife the freedom to do whatever she wants. I want to provide the environment so that she can thrive and be who God intends her to be.” That left an impression, and at that time, I remember thinking to myself- “Your wife would be such a lucky woman to have that freedom. If I have that freedom as a woman, I would love to stay home and be with my husband and children. And isn’t it wonderful that my desires do not conflict with the ‘biblical’ perspective of mothers and married women.”
Arthur spoke more than he knew. Although Arthur probably feels like he failed me on this front by our current circumstances, but God had done so much more to fulfill his intention than he thought he did. He has given me so much freedom to discover myself, to know myself deeper, to (painfully) question what I would really do if I could do whatever I want- instead of preconceived notions that I had built up in the past. My self perception of marriage, being a married woman and a mother has been challenged over and over again.
I began to realize that though I would be content with my husband’s praise and being involved in church, I like being able to contribute and be valued professionally as well. I am still trying to work out whether or not that is legitimate- but I must admit that I enjoy working more than I thought I did. Staying home to bring up our children would still be a sacrifice I’d make, but I would definitely need to be involved in something else to satisfy that “professional me”.
Marriage has also teased out this restless soul of mine, and be the fuel to my flickering desire to live life fully and pursue passion- instead of giving way to safe options and weighty considerations. Having a companion to encourage me, and be there to try out the different options/ routes with me- makes the destination less important than the journey itself. It doesn’t matter as long as we’ve tried our best in all wisdom, and even if it fails, we would have lived to learn for another day.
The start of our second year of marriage had been a little more challenging than the first. It’s been a trying time on Arthur- as he is confronted with some of his weaknesses, and his frustration with his present work situation and the lack of a future direction. Thankfully he has emerged with a desire to return to the States, and pursue a graduate degree or job of his passion. God willing, we’re hoping to go to the States some time mid 2010.
I would so hate if he had lived the life he always described he would lead- “to find a job that pays well but that he doesn’t like as much so that he can provide for the family”. I am thankful that God has led him out of this crazy idea this quick!
Being single, I had thought of marriage as a destination. But I now know better that it truly is the beginning of another journey. It’s tempting to travel towards the destination of being married, but even after marriage, you will realize that you’re still you. You will need to know how you’d be travelling together with your partner, where would you be travelling toward, and who you’ll be journeying for.
Our marriage is not a conventional one by Singaporean standards- no HDB, no 5 year plans, no stable job. Serene applauded my courage.. It’s not easy and some days are harder than the others I’d admit. But it truly is not that tough honestly, and I cannot imagine travelling otherwise… Especially if you know that you’re living through experiences that He will use to bless others in the future, I would not trade it for anything else in the world... I draw strength from the knowledge that He has led many of His servants on that path as well.
“… And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him… All these people were still living by faith when they died. They did not receive the things promised, they only saw them and welcomed them from a distance. And they admitted that they were aliens and strangers on earth. People who say such things show that they are looking for a country of their own If they had been thinking of the country they had left, they would have had opportunity to return. Instead, they were longing for a better country- a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared a city for them”
Tuesday, September 01, 2009
Julie & Julia, Eggs & Bible
In Julie & Julia, Julie has never eaten an egg, discounting eggs in cakes, pastries or used in cooking of other dishes. She has never eaten an egg, egg, until the first poached egg she made according to one of Julia’s recipe. To her delight, she discovers that eggs tasted better than she thought they would.
I have of course eaten many eggs and in many ways. And…. I have finally discovered my favorite way of eating breakfast eggs during the US trip! I used to hate runny yolks- well, actually all sorts of yolks unless they were beaten up. And I think I still am not able to bear the thought of swallowing the yellow bulb in one mouthful, or mesh it with the half-boiled whites with soy sauce & pepper Ya-kun (a traditional Singapore coffee-shop) style.
But I think I might just have fallen in love with the runny yolks, served over the English muffin (which is one of my favorite breads) with American sausage and pepper.
Imagine pricking the over-medium egg (poached is my favorite, though over the pan is fine). The golden yolk oozes out from the thin membrane holding it together. The liquid sun flows over the cooked whites (they need not be fully cooked, but must not be too runny), and into the porous English muffin. The muffin delightfully soaks up the rich yolk.
Have it with some sausage and pepper. And what you have in your mouth is wonderful medley of rich creamy yolk, complemented by the whites, the distinctive texture and fragrance of the English muffin. The sausage provides the right “salty” taste, and the pepper gives the light spicy finish.
Gosh.. waking up has never been more attractive if such a breakfast was awaiting me.
**
In Julie & Julia, Julie said that she felt as if Julia was with her in the kitchen when she was making her recipes. As if Julia was there to tell her what to do, to watch what she was doing, and guiding her along- just by having the cook book in front of her! It’s as if she was having a relationship with Julia just in that room, and following instructions in a manual has never been that alive. Julie seemed to have gotten to know Julia through her cook book. It delighted Julie to be able to carry out the steps outlined by Julia with precision, witness how perfectly the dish turned out, and enjoy the compliments the friends dish out as they taste the food she has prepared.
Though not a perfect analogy, there is much parallel in the above for the Christian. I wonder why we have so much trouble doing what the Bible says, and why we are not able to interact with God when reading the Word that He breathed. And how can we be so thick to not see that when we do what He says in His Word, our lives would be perfected in Him (not necc a bed of roses for sure) and we would be a blessing to others?
The Bible is of course not a recipe book- in fact, it is so far from being one. But just to challenge those who perceive that the Bible is like a book of law with only instructions to follow, if Julie can derive so much joy and converse with Julia by reading and making the recipes in her cookbook- surely we can too?
If we would contemplate God when reading what He wrote, what He was thinking when He wrote that, and converse with Him. If we would not just read, but do what He has said, will we not test and approve His good and perfect will?
Monday, August 24, 2009
Travel Tweet 5: Decatur and DC
Arthur’s three highs from our time in Decatur are:
- working around the house (he was a carpenter, gardener, handy-man and bee-hive migration officer…),
- fixing jigsaw with the family (everyone’s so skilled and patient with these puzzles!),
- and sitting around after meals to chat over coffee and dessert.
This gives a pretty good feel of what our time in Decatur was like. “Being home” is really the best way to sum it up- being able to relax in the comforts of the beautiful house and the wonderful company of the family.
We did some sight-seeing as well, I was really impressed with the Abraham Lincoln Presidential Museum in Springfield. But what I enjoyed best was the “ordinary things” that we did as a family together- like watching TV on the couch, catching a movie and eating at home. These seemingly ordinary things are a luxury for us since we don get to be together too much.
I concluded that Washington DC might be my favorite city to live in. Though we spent only one day down town, I love the feel, architecture and layout of the city. I have a soft spot for buildings that are not too tall, they are less oppressive and allows for more sky space. The many museums that line the mall, and presence of many government buildings, work together to give the city a feel that is different from the other commercial hubs.
What I consider to mark my time in Decatur and DC, is finally being able to meet the extended family from Dad’s side, the family-in-Christ in his home church, and all the special people from Arthur’s history. All the precious people who have been God’s tools to mould Arthur to who he is today, who has known him for a longer time than i have, and who makes his eyes light up with love, respect and longing whenever he talks about them. It has been such a joy and honor to meet all of them! And it is my special pleasure to be able to identify and call them by name, those in his old pictures these days.
It is not the fact that it’s my first trip to the US that makes this vacation special, but rather the chance to know a little better the country and culture that he had grown up in, to see the places that he had lived in or walked through, and to meet the people who are special to him.
I guess this vacation provides a good end to our first year of marriage. The receptions allowed us to indulge in the memories of where we started, and a trip like this reminds us that we are making memories together day by day- not just of special moments but even the most ordinary everyday.
God has been so gracious and totally spoilt us. Thank you Daddy for everything, and thanks to everyone who has been part of this trip, including you!
Signing off for the Travel tweets! *waves*
Sunday, August 16, 2009
God forbid
The more I know your power, Lord
The more I’m mindful
How casually we speak and sing your name
How often we have come to you
With no fear or wonder
And called upon you only for what we stand to gain
God forbid, that I find you so familiar
That I think of you as less than who you are
God forbid, that I should speak of you at all
Without a humble reverence in my heart
God forbid
Lord, I often talk about your love and mercy
How it seems to me your goodness has no end
It frightens me to think that I could take you for granted
Though you’re closer than a brotherYou’re more than just a friend
You are Father,
God almightyLord of lords,
you're King of kings
Beyond my understanding
No less than everything
God forbid
God forbid
Sunday, August 09, 2009
Travel Tweet 4: Chicago
Sitting across them, there was a sharp pain in my heart. Not for them- I am so glad that they have each other for companionship now. But because the truth of “we all become single again” finally hit home, hard.
There would come a time when either of us would be sitting in their chairs- having been left on earth, while the love of our life would be with Jesus. Would loneliness be so hard to cope? Would we dare to have another relationship then? Would things and activities ever be sufficient to fill the void left by a person?
I saw two people who had lost their loved ones, and still had lives to live. It was clear that both understood they each had lost the love of their lives, and it was that loss that drew them together. They appreciated the companionship that the other person offered, but at the same time missing dearly their spouse. What was the underlying dynamics of their companionship? It was not the resounding “God made me for you”, and saying “you’re just here to fill the gap” is too cruel. In some strange sense, their relationship made their loss seemed even greater.
Arthur and I have often talked about the morbid subject. And for his sake, I will never want to leave him behind. Stirred into that same pot of “looking at life” that weekend, was watching Up, and visiting Wheaton.
Visiting Wheaton, we were again confronted with graduate school options- and questions about future direction. The desire to pursue once-in-a-lifetime experiences of being in school together, to coherently take the next step in response to God’s gifts in our lives but not knowing what the future entails. Do we love God more than our financial security? What would we show of our lives?
Friday, August 07, 2009
Monday, August 03, 2009
Travel Tweet 3: New York
It’s so surreal being in NY.
It’s a city you feel you know because of the exposure to America we get through the media. You’ve heard of the names of the streets, you’ve seen the parks in the movies, you get pictures of the museums in the magazines, you’ve wondered what the buildings of the MNCs you see in Singapore would be like in their home country. So, standing in midst of Central Park or Wall Street or Times Square- you just get that “I cant believe I’m here!” rush come over you. Not in an overpowering sense at all, but rather like finally meeting an online friend.
Many have asked me for my first impression of NY. And my standard reply is that it’s a city of contradictions. It’s not exactly the best word, but I cannot describe very well the blend of thoughts and feelings that come into play with my observations.
Boasting some of the most modern skyscrapers in the world, an overhaul of its subway stations and airports is so so long overdue. It amazes me how these clanky old metallic trains work so well on these old rails though. BUT i must say that it’s a subway with more character than the new modern ones.
Architecture wise, there is also much contrast between the new and old buildings. You can have a hundred over years old building (still very well-maintained mind you) standing next to a modern structure. And these old buildings make you feel like you want to peel off the layers of history that lies behind the city and savor it, and what you’re seeing in the modern tower next door is the glitzy candy wrapper.
Expecting tips for service, the service levels do not even come close to being tip-worthy (in my humble opinion). And not to mention how some New Yorkers take pride in being rude. But since that’s my expectation anyway, they do not really rub me the wrong way. Simple courtesy go a long way to make my brows rise and and lips smile.
The city is diverse with different types of people, but the diversity survives on tolerance and not acceptance. This is one whole essay, don get me started.
It’s a city full of live and energy- so many different things to see and do at every corner, so many people passing through. But its built on unnecessary excess (note the double emphasis!)- like keeping the crazy billboard lights running even in broad daylight. Go green and waste energy?
Anyhow, all these crazy things about the city lends a unique charm to it. It’s like recognizing flaws in a friend but accepting him as who he is. And seeing and appreciating the beauty and character of the city simply.
Our time here with family and friends and food was wonderful. Getting to know more of Arthur’s family and friends, and his history :p It’s fun listening in to Arthur and Kimberley’s talks about the family. Catching up with precious friends who are so dear to us- deep conversations and great chill-outs. Time was short, but every encounter memorable. And finally meeting my boss and colleagues whom I’ve never seen before- it’s so great to finally be able to put a face to the names I write to every day. As for food.. how much time do you have?
Looking forward to my first Broadway musical and Baseball game when I get back! Can’t wait!
Sorry.. Still trying to sort out the pictures- it’ll come in a while!
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Travel Tweet 2: Jamaica
As someone puts it, Jamaica has an old soul. Although it is still young in economy, urban and industrial development, but it is a country with a rich history- and layers waiting to be uncovered. Raggae music aside, it has had a colorful political journey (though this has worked against the progress of the country over the last few decades).
The Jamaicans often compare themselves with Singapore, and Minister Mentor LKY had visited it during the sixties. Till this day, they still remember that he took the Jamaican ideas and plucked it into Singapore. And he famously said that Jamaica had everything going for it, but the people were its biggest problem- they just love to have fun too much.
I guess there has to be some truth to that, the rich poor divide today is pretty heart-breaking. But I must say that there are so many brilliant Jamaicans. I have been so impressed, with not just their knowledge, experience and calibre, but also all of their hearts and desires to see Jamaican flourish. Of course, I take it with a grain of salt. There are some policies I do not understand (30% interest rates??!!), and there must be still some hidden problems that have kept foreign investments at bay. While waiting for the gap between talk and action being bridged, I can only pray that the gap between the rich and the poor do not increase at too fast a rate.
We spent most of our time in Kingston, where all the government offices were. There is definitely much room for city development. Arthur had back-to-back meetings with the rest of the delegation while I was mostly stuck in the hotel working. Too many and long heavy dinners with officials, and businessmen left us drained, often wishing that the evening would end earlier.
The most touristy things we did were over last weekend. We visited Vernom field- a large open space that the government was looking to develop into an airport hub (err… which I think would take a couple of decades, and “potential” was the buzz word). Then, we went to the milk river bath, which was one of the most radioactive waters in the word- supposedly good for health and had healing properties. In the evening, we stayed over in Aloysius’ “godfather”’s- Uncle Billy’s house, and had the experience of a lifetime of attending a Free Masons (a gentlemen secret society, Dan Brown uses them a lot, go google!) dinner. In midst of it all, we also visited coffee and rum factories.
Food was fun- I really enjoyed the Jamaican fare. The top 5 foods that I love are- Jerk chicken, ackee and salt fish, plantain, mangos (so many different types!), and ginnip. Okie dokes, a pretty long tweet.. here’s some pictures, enjoy!
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Travel Tweet 1: In the air
Oh yeah, I’m obviously in a holiday mood, and am so glad to be back in the business of writing. Providing short travel bites along the way helps me feel that you’re on the journey with me.. It also saves me from having to trace back 5 weeks worth of travel thoughts in one lengthy blog post. So here’s my first tweet, on what I did with my 18 hours of air time… :p
It’s my first ride on Japan Airlines, and I would definitely ride it again. Both flights were relatively smooth, and the service standards high. How can anyone resist pretty Japanese stewardesses who were always smiling, polite and so sincerely apologetic and hopeful when the entertainment system was down for about an hour.
The technical glitch provided some interesting reflections. I must confess that I was pretty upset that I could not start my movie. I tried almost every ten minutes to re-select my movie, only to realize that I wasn’t the jinx this time round. They had to reboot the entertainment system twice, and passengers were visibly a little frustrated. But there was really no other recourse than to wait, so i could only helplessly resign myself to patience management.
My frustration and impatience made me realize that as a passenger today, I had an underlying expectation to be entertained on my flight. I still brought my book, I could sleep, I had my laptop there were things I could still do, but that didn’t stop me from frowning. Why? I tried to imagine flights in the last decade when there was no in-flight entertainment system- they still managed to pass time without the frustration, why was I not able to keep my impatience in check? Hmmm...
And then, there is this amazing phenomenon noted by Arthur. All the passengers remained in their seats until the seatbelts signal was turned off after landing. This would not have been possible in Air China or Singapore Airlines for that matter. *grin*
Oh and one last thing.. the food really yummy. Not quite the sushi and total Japanese fare I was hoping for, but the yuzu salad dressing, cold somen appetizer, tamago and pickles side dish, matcha cake dessert, pancakes & waffle breakfast and citrus kumquat drink definitely left an impression. Wondering what I’ll have on my way back…
Monday, July 06, 2009
A or B?
Personality B: The guarded worn dog who looks upon the eager beavers and smiles from a distance. Weary of conversations that go in circles, and those that try to look deeper than it actually is, she’s becoming more comfortable with mindless chatter than she used to. Letting go and moving on also seems to be getting easier and easier. Take things easy, is her tagline.
Can Personality A and B be a good match? Will they call the other person a hypocrite when they meet? Can they co-exist?
Can she honestly be both? Not just on different days, but at the same time? What triggers the personality to surface? The audience, her mood, her mindset, the weather? Which is me today?
I realize A is here when I’m being her, or find out that B was there in retrospect. It’s not a choice of deciding who to be. There are some days when I can be A one minute, and B the other. There are some days that I enjoy having both show up to converse with each other at the same time. There are some days I find it hard to handle them both. And there are some days I find myself in an identity crisis. I know I may sound confused to some- but I’m not. Really.
Although I’m finding harder and harder to define me… My assessment is that I am a growing product of God and life. Thankfully, the latter is but a tool of what He uses to make me into Who He wants me to be. Till He leads me there, praying that I’ll enjoy being A, B, C, D and more!
Friday, June 26, 2009
Travelogue- Beijing
The city has changed much since I first set foot there- like the better traffic, clearer skies, more developed train system, new buildings, etc. But the underlying heartbeat and veins of the city remains the same. It’s like meeting an old friend with a makeover- you need some time to get used to the new look for a while, but deep inside the person has not changed. And how you feel towards that old friend has not changed also.
It’s pretty surreal to be walking along the same street, now lined with new buildings, but still feeling exactly the same. Returning to the same restaurants and eating the same food. Going back to church- meeting people who are still there, and missing those who also left while we’re gone. Being back at the apartment that holds so many memories for us- of our dating days, of our dear friends. It’s like catching up.
And even more surreal the familiar questions that used to haunt you, still haunts you the same.
I think it’s being out of the daily routine and oppression of “what has to be done” and being alone, that forces you to stare hard into the mirror, and ask questions that “has to be asked”- if you do not want to wake up when you’re fifty and wonder what it is you have done with your life. This is gonna be my excuse to get away at least once a year. :) It’s not as if the questions do not arise when you’re at home. But knowing that the same answers do not come out of dread and dis-satisfaction, affirms the pursuit of passion rather than settling for a solution.
Having time by ourselves in a little apartment has been fun fun. Eating junk, whenever and whatever. Twelve Magnums over 3 weeks, excluding all the Dairy Queens out. Watching House anytime- finished 1.5 Seasons and I’m so hooked on him.. Hugh Laurie is my next hero. Cooking haphazardly- just fishing things out from the fridge and trying to make a decent meal out of them. But this had better be a holiday schedule, than a glimpse of what our life of two would be like in the future!
We haven’t been very conscientious with taking pictures. *Sorry* The only pictures we have would probably be those that Susan took for her farewell, and a few taken at the Bird’s Nest. But I’m pretty sure we’ll do a lot better in the States. :) :) Yeapz- will be off again from mid July.. Yay!!
Let’s hope my next entry wont be another travelogue.
Saturday, May 23, 2009
And Kris won :)
He didnt explode into tears when he was announced as the winner, neither did he react too strongly.. and i doubt he would make more news & sensation than Adam would in the days to come... But the final scene when he squeezed his wife so tightly when she joined him on stage, and hid his head in her arms... it says it all... disbelief and yet exhilaration to get something he didnt deserve nor expect he would- not something that he could ever express with words. What do you say to grace? What would be sufficient response?
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Idol Fever!
There is Adam Lambert who is outrageous and very fun to watch. He's such a performer and very very entertaining.
There is Danny Gokey who also has great vocals too. And the amazing thing is that he had to learn all the songs from scratch coz he's never heard them before since all the albums he has at home are Christian albums..
But my number one reason yet is Kris Allen.. Ok so he's the cutest, but he's really really creative. He doesnt have the best vocals, but man, he sings songs that i would buy! And to celebrate his presence in the Finals (YAY!!!!!!!!), here are three of his favourite songs that i've heard shamelessly countless of times on Youtube :p Sorry that the videos are really boring, but they make good tracks to just listen to..
To make you feel my love - nothing better to put you in a lazy romantic mood.. (updated, realized it was a repeat of Falling Slowly previously, sorry!!)
Somewhere over the rainbow – Kris on his ukulele. I love the arrangement!
Falling Slowly - better than the original, it's true!
i need some distraction in midst of my high stress now ok... :p
Saturday, May 02, 2009
Radio love affair
I also make it a personal priority to regularly change the CDs in the car player. To recycle the 10 CDs Player 2 can hold, and make sure that all my CDs get their fair share of play time. To carefully alternate secular and Christian albums, so that a track that might fit my mood at that time would just be one album a way. And when I got new CDs, to ensure that they remain in the car until every single track gets their debut in the priority CD Player 1.
So for a very long time, radio has just been about 93.8 and BBC for me- business news, world news, traffic news, sports news, etc. The teenage me would have never thought there would be such a day. When dad and mum were driving me around then, this backseat passenger would always insist on switching to radio channels whenever a deejay started talking. Oh and she would kick a tantrum if she had to, when dad and mum wanted to listen to the latest news on 95.8.
Back to what I was saying… So radio= news and talk talk talk for me now. When I want music, I just switch to the CD player.
But over the long weekend, I was made to fall in love with music on the radio all over again. Class 95’s Music Marathon the culprit, and I the helpless victim. 95 minutes worth of non-stop music was playing.
“Oh I haven heard this song for so long,” commented Arthur, and he turned up the volume.
“This is a great song!” Two songs later, and it was very affirming to know that we stayed on the right frequency.
“Hmm.. this sounds like Britney Spears.” “No, her voice is higher. I think its Lady Gaga.” “Maybe it is.” And a conversation about Britney, and how quickly she “cleaned up” followed.
The radio brings you surprises- I was reminded after the drive.
It is able to make you break into a bright smile when you like the song that is being played.
It introduces you to songs that you would otherwise have not heard before. Sometimes you fall in love with them, and you try hard to remember a phrase and you-tube it later.
It makes you frown when the deejay did not repeat the song title again!
When the deejay mentions that a song you like is coming up, you would stay on, bear with the 1001 commercials, and feel that satisfaction come over you when you survived the agony of waiting for that song….
And oh… the nostalgia it stirs up when it reminds you of your history. Music Marathon kept me company when I was on my study marathons during the school days.
The radio makes me smile. It makes me feel a myriad of emotions that I can never engage with the CD player. Because on the CD Player, I know exactly what the next track is coming up. And because I know exactly what I am going to get, and I make special plans to ensure that I get what I want to listen to… It just brings me the satisfaction of getting what I want, and there is no additional kick of being surprised.
It does not take very much psycho-analyzing to see that perhaps “I like surprises” is the logical conclusion here for this radio love affair. Though I must say- that is not entirely true all the time… But that is for another day. Meanwhile, let me just relish the romance of the radio.
“When I was young I listened to the radio, playing all my favourite songs.. When they played I sing a long it made me smile…”

















