Travel Tweet 4: Chicago

Grand-aunt Darlene and her friend Joe sat across us. She had lost her husband a year ago, and he, his wife to cancer for 18 months now. It is obvious how much Darlene missed Grand-uncle as his name came up in every other conversation. And there was a twinkle of tear in Joe’s eyes, as the strong man spoke of his wife to people he had only met for the first time. Darlene and Joe had known each other’s families almost all their lives.

Sitting across them, there was a sharp pain in my heart. Not for them- I am so glad that they have each other for companionship now. But because the truth of “we all become single again” finally hit home, hard.

There would come a time when either of us would be sitting in their chairs- having been left on earth, while the love of our life would be with Jesus. Would loneliness be so hard to cope? Would we dare to have another relationship then? Would things and activities ever be sufficient to fill the void left by a person?

I saw two people who had lost their loved ones, and still had lives to live. It was clear that both understood they each had lost the love of their lives, and it was that loss that drew them together. They appreciated the companionship that the other person offered, but at the same time missing dearly their spouse. What was the underlying dynamics of their companionship? It was not the resounding “God made me for you”, and saying “you’re just here to fill the gap” is too cruel. In some strange sense, their relationship made their loss seemed even greater.

Arthur and I have often talked about the morbid subject. And for his sake, I will never want to leave him behind. Stirred into that same pot of “looking at life” that weekend, was watching Up, and visiting Wheaton.

Visiting Wheaton, we were again confronted with graduate school options- and questions about future direction. The desire to pursue once-in-a-lifetime experiences of being in school together, to coherently take the next step in response to God’s gifts in our lives but not knowing what the future entails. Do we love God more than our financial security? What would we show of our lives?