Spouse essay :p

Covenant Divinity School requires a spouse essay for Arthur's application to his program there.. so just parking it here too.. :)
Topic: Her testimony and her thoughts about his pursuit of seminary training.

This is the testimony of God’s daughter, who admits she is unable to see and remember everything her Father has done. But hopes that in her limited expression of words, would show you how amazing He had woven the tapestry of life.

I started going to church at about the age of 5 because my parents wanted me to improve my English. The Sunday School stories were fun and the candies always inviting. But they were not sufficient to remove my dread to go to church, because of having to memorize Bible verses, missing out on cartoons and feeling like an outsider in a group of kids with parents who were also in church. A passive and reluctant participant- God still used her faithful mother, joyful Sunday school teachers and the weekly exposure of Bible stories to draw her to Himself. I first took the baby in the manger and the man on the cross as my personal Saviour at the age of 9. It is against this backdrop that I always considered myself a Christian though I stopped going to church for about 5 years in my teenage years.

Even in those 5 years when church life was absent, God still was in my life through the Catholic Secondary School that I went to. I never thought much of the morning prayers, mass and hymns then- but looking back, God used them to help me not forget Him.

When I was 17, I wanted so bad to go back to church again. I thought going to church was nice, I looked up to my Christian aunt and cousins and wanted to be like them, and for some reason I just started to miss going to church. In His timing, God used a casual conversation with a classmate to bring me back into His family in a local Presbyterian church.

It was during Youth Fellowship that I learnt about faith, love, hope, commitment- Christianity became more than just Sunday School stories, it required a life response. Then came a whirlwind season with much desire and dissatisfaction- a desire for the gift of tongues and experiences of “being touched by the Holy Spirit”, in want to be “singled out by God in a crowd” and having a more “Spirit-filled” church. And all that was mixed with a desire for a relationship, that was not to be fulfilled at that age.

I started leading a small group in church during my University days, and through recommendations from friends in the Varsity Christian Fellowship- I also started to attend additional Bible teaching services and conferences. God provided me several mentors during this season- people who took me under their care, taught me the Bible and encouraged me to do the same and make disciples of Christ. The combination of Bible Study preparation and equipping sessions started to help build my biblical foundation. Being surrounded by like-minded brothers and sisters, also spurred me to grow and serve God by feeding His sheep. And almost like an epiphany, everything in my short Christian history thus far, started to come together.

As I read the Bible, the Sunday School stories that had been buried deep in my childhood memory started coming alive. The Bible stories were not just actions and things that happened in history- but rather they revealed things about God, His character and plan. Things that I learnt during Youth Fellowship started to have more grounding in the Person of Jesus Christ and the teachings in His Word. And I started to understand what being a Christian meant- that I am a sinner, saved by grace alone through faith alone in Christ alone.

All the knowledge that I gained starting to give birth to more burning questions within me. “Do I know God?” or “Do I just know about God?”, and “What does it means to follow Christ, am I willing to carry my cross?” I am confronted that this faith, this God demands more than what I have giving Him so far. He is real, He is alive, and He wants a relationship with me. I need to love Him with all my heart, and all my mind, and all my strength.

As certain as I am aware that I had made a personal commitment to God, I know that it is He who first chose me- and will keep me in Him. Growth in the years after till today consisted of experiencing God’s discipline, coming face to face with the depth of my depravity and inability to love like He does, and being completely blown away that He who already gave His life for me would also me show how His sovereignty provides for me and my family in every situation. And one of the most amazing gifts He had given me- is a like-minded companion for life, who promised to love me like Christ loves His church.

I have a few instinctive response with regards to Arthur’s pursuit of seminary training. They revolve mainly around- “I wish I can do it with you too!”, “It’s such a privilege and joy to be able to set apart time to become better trained for God’s work”, to “I believe it will be a season when Arthur will not just grow in knowledge, but also in spirit.” And I consider it also my privilege and joy to have a husband who would pursue doing the Gospel work in a full-time capacity, to be able to support and serve alongside with him.

It had always been my dream to be able to spend time doing seminary training as well. It may not be my time to do it right now, but I hope that I will have a chance to do it some day. For now, it makes me smile to think that God would fulfill yet another of my dream through Arthur. It excites me to think about the godly men and women we will meet, and the chance to learn from them and their lives as we spend time sharing about God and His Word. I certainly believe that during his course of training- I too will partake in the training on the side, and grow as well.

Having said that, I also want to acknowledge that we will always be “work in progress”, and there is no boundary to what we can learn about God and how we can grow in our relationship with Him. So while seminary training can prepare Arthur up to a certain degree, we will forever be in God’s “training school” in Christ-likenss. The seminary training is not the “end-all”.

It would also be a lie to not admit thoughts of uncertainty that flash across my mind every now and then. Uncertainty, not about the seminary training, but about what to expect after the seminary training. We’re not certain about where God will have us be, and what He will have us do. “I don’t know…” doesn’t seem like a very assuring answer to give family and friends when they ask me about what Arthur would do after the seminary training. This uncertainty about the future however, only serves to make the present resolve all the more real and precious.

Our present decision for Arthur to pursue seminary training is built on 2 key foundations- our commitment to serve God and His people wherever we are, and the gifts and desire that God had put within Arthur full-time Gospel ministry as affirmed by family and friends. So although we do not know what the specific ministry context we will be in, we know for sure that it can only be a good and wise thing to do, to get trained and be a skilled worker of God.

By faith, we know that God has opened up this season for us to get trained. And we know that the Faithful One will lead us after this season of training to where He wants us to be.