The mad rush before I left for Beijing, the hasty trip home, Grandma’s funeral and all the aftermath, and currently dealing with a strong temptation to disown all my nasty relatives. Argh- thank God I am not God, honestly… how does He tolerate all the wickedness and still act with grace? that’s why He’s God and I’m not… but nevertheless carrying the cross of Christ to love my enemies has been one too heavy of late. I know I will not be able to stand if He acts only with justice, so I am not sulking but I need Him to teach me how to love and give me the capacity to.
And not to mention all the undercurrents at home with dad’s physical health & his childish ways, mum’s emotional well-being & her anxiety, renovations, packing & clearing and waiting for people to chase us out of the house.. hehhehe, and thinking about a trip with moo-moo? oh yes, and the wedding too. and missing my other half BIG TIME. faintz.
I know my lot is not too heavy at all, and compared to many others He has been really good to us. but for now, I might just need to space out a little more- before Christmas comes.
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Reading Knowing God by J.I Packer right now. it’s bringing me to a place where I don even know how to react/ behave in God’s presence. What shall I say in light of His perfect wisdom? How shall I react to His absolute power? Where shall I kneel in His Majesty’s holy court? The corner at His feet that I covet for so long seems too much to ask for. It’s awkward, I feel small, but yet so hungry to know Him more and more.
It’s thanksgiving today, so I guess for now, I want to thank God for being God, and who He is. Glory be to Him alone.
1 comment:
HI xiu
where are u moving to
how's your wedding prep?
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