“By faith, I am asking you to marry me” ~ Sekedi asked Fidelia, and they were not yet in a dating relationship. This is to-date the most jaw-dropping proposal I have heard. No, this is not a “spur on the moment” microwaved request by Sekedi- they were friends for a long time before the question; and no the girl did not say yes immediately like in the fairy tale. But this is one proposal, that has left me intrigued.
intrigued because Sekedi really did not know what Fidelia’s response might be- they were not even dating! intrigued because Sekedi had nothing to support his request other than his faith in God to grant him the desires of his heart. intrigued about the spirit and courage behind the question. intrigued because he had nothing but faith to back him up in front of Fidelia.
Of course this does not in anyway lessen the richness and depth of the many many relationships that brewed slowly in the Father’s hands. And neither does it mean that those relationships require any less faith. And it definitely does not lessen the marshmallow effect of any fruitful love story on me. It’s just… I’ve never heard of a proposal like that, ever.
“I love you, please marry me”, “We’re made for each other, please marry me”, but “By faith, please marry me”- it’s a first.
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“By faith, not sight”- this is a timely reminder for myself, in light of a little hiatus Arthur and me had lately.
I want to remember His assurance to me when I prayed during the days of seeking- “Lord, I don know how this would even work out. it’ll take a lot of faith, You know…” And that is when He gave me the peace to walk through this door. I want to always remember thinking to myself- “the last relationship that I ‘could see work out’ fell right through, so this time round I can hardly see beyond tomorrow, put me in a position of faith and let this be founded on You alone.” I want not only to remember being excited at the unknown future but be genuinely eager always to witness the unfolding of His plan by the days…
To not be paralyzed by fear of “ambiguity” and “losing him”. To not let my neurosis and insecurities get the better of me- getting cold feet thinking about the future, feeling negative about what might possibly lie ahead, letting my thoughts run wild in all possible directions.
But yet on the other hand, a love that cannot withstand doubts, or a relationship that cannot stand tests is one that will have no depth. And having questions is not necessarily a bad thing – if I can doubt God even, why cant I doubt things in this world? But I pray for the Spirit to direct those moments of doubts and have them answered in Him.
“Lord, as I seek to live this life by faith- may it be expressed it through every action and every thought. Forgive me in times when I take my eyes off you. Turn them back to you Jesus and still my heart.. And I know the things of this world will grow strangely dim, in the light of Your glory and grace.”
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This marks the end of this series on “by faith, not sight”. Hoping that as He has led me through this time of self-search, my musings and struggles have in some way been an encouragement and a blessing to you. Thanks for listening :)
1 comment:
What a pleasure it is to see your commitment, love, and trust in God, Xiu! We do have many baptisms in our lives, each one taking us down to a small death--death of false or selfish hopes, death of dreams that seemed good to us but were not His best--but with each small death He raises us to a richer, fuller life. He is our good and loving Father who blesses us again and again, redeeming and saving us. May your new year be even more full of the miracle of love and the joy of knowing that God has given to you from the fullness of His store of blessings. Sincerely, Marilyn Kok
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