pure sugar...

http://strawberryshortcake.com/media/?Type=Video

New chapter at work...

For all my complaints in between, and many resolves to move out of Reuters.. God has different plans for me. Once again, proving that He has the best for me :) Not sure what lies henceforth, but nevertheless still thankful for the break that He has given to me.

Honestly, i really do like Reuters & what i'm doing.. so for my ever-gracious Daddy who entertained my whimsicals and complaints of boredom- thank you so much! Truly thankful for my lot in life..

And this is a special day.. for both Art & me are moving onto something new in the same workplace, and on the same day :) hehe.. makes me wonder how many more of such chapters are present in the past..

***

Hi everyone,

this is a thank you, but not good-bye mail.. slightly different from all the mails we have been getting thus far :)

as i was telling my team- it's kinda strange for me to send out a note like that, esp since i'd still be working really closely with all of you in Fundamentals, and for those in Singapore you'd still see me around pretty much. so yes am stepping out of the Fundamentals production, but it's not goodbye :p

nevertheless, would take this chance to put a closure to my chapter in the Fundamentals team, and to thank everyone who has made this moving on possible... *hopefully this doesn't sound too formal or dramatic...*

First to all my managers & TL - Valen, Hao, Rina, Paul : Thank you so much for all the opportunities & training you have given to me. Thanks for taking such good care of me. Hope i haven't disappointed you guys :)

To everyone in Singapore Fundamentals - some of you i've worked more closely with, and some of you less closely with. But all the same, thank you so much for all the care & support you have given me. Hope i haven't been too much of a pain :p

To everyone in Beijing Fundamentals - it's been a wonderful priviledge to have gotten to work with and know some of you. My time there with you guys will always be part of my fond memories. Hope to see you some time in the future!

Especially to the China/Taiwan team - it's been such a joy working with you guys, even through the painful times. The road's been bumpy at times but thanks for being in the car with me. i count my reward for being able to call many of you my friends and not just colleagues. Thank you so very much for being who you are- please don stop talking to me! :p

Especially Especially to Bao Min & Sophia & Paul - almost a dream team. cannot ask for better co-workers really. would miss working closely with you all. and the journey ahead will be challenging no doubt, but am sure the new team will bring about a different energy :) jia you!

Thank you so much once again..and for now, enjoy the weekend! :)

God bless!

***

God, I’m serious

How can I count the ways
You made each day sweet
Every falling leaf, every angel in disguise
I’m thankful You’ve made me alive.

How can I count the ways
You do not give us what we deserve
Made dark clouds to rain showers of blessings
Sovereignly commanding evil for the good of Your people.

How can I count the ways
You give so abundantly to this one of little faith
It’s not the gifts that overwhelm her
But You telling her that You trust her- sweeps her off her feet.


When You found me and lifted me from the miry clay, courted me till the oath I made that day, faithfully keeping Your covenant to me till this very day, I know God You’ve given Yourself to be the Love of my life.

I want to love you Jesus, to walk in all your ways, to obey your commands, to hold fast to you and to serve you with all my heart and all my soul. I'm serious about You, please keep me in You always.

Brothers & Sisters

The show premiered on Channel 5 on Monday evening. After a heartbreaking question by Kitty (Calista) to her mum (Sally Field), "Why can't you love me?". Nora replied, "We fight, Kitty. We fight (like all mothers and daughters do). But just come home ok?"

Her words echoed in my ears till now, "just come home". i think that three simple words spell out my "family philosophy". After all that might happen amongst siblings, after all the misunderstandings & hurtful words said between parent and child, after taking time off to cool down and let things pass, "Just come home".

There is no point in allowing history to spoil your present, why let regretful anger drive you further from each other, pride cannot be worth more than the blood that runs in the family. Come home.


Have not watched an American drama for a long long time, watching something like this makes me miss my once well-loved friends & families in the small box. Am a total softie when it comes to plots- thrillers, mystery and suspense don cut well with me. Give me medical, legal, and family drama any time. Allow me to pay tribute to them who were with me as i grew up...

TV staples in the past included: Ally McBeal, ER, The Practice, Gilmore Girls, 7th Heaven, Boston Legal. Miss those days when i would detest Noah Wyle's new girlfriend (ER), have my heart wringe when Calista Flockhart walk home alone, follow James Spader from The Practice to Boston Legal, wish i could be as cool a mum as Lorelai Gilmore and have a family as beautiful as the Camdens (7th Heaven).

You all will always be a part of me..... *tissue please*

i'm an index finger!

Another interesting or "air-headed" recommendation by Weifeng, aka JTL. hahahaha.

You Are the Index Finger

You are ambitious, driven, and capable. You aren't afraid to take responsibility for your actions - or place the blame on whoever deserves it. You are honest, free thinking, and objective. You see things in your own way - and you aren't afraid to let everyone know about it. You get along well with: The Thumb Stay away from: The Ring Finger

What Finger Are You?

Lines of confidence

What happens when a job comes in between a husband and wife? If James Bond ever got married, I do not envisage him sharing all of the confidential information M entrusted him with to his wife. If the pastor’s wife is a gossip monger (yes, godly men can have wives with weaknesses), should he tell her everything his church members tell him?

Does the “not sharing everything I know” mean that I do not trust you?
Or if the person who has shared with me told me specifically to not tell anyone else- do I keep that trust and not tell the person I trust most on earth?
But if I cant tell the trusted person, how can it mean that I trust him? Do I show that I am trusting by breaking another’s trust?

What happens when a man comes in between best friends? I have wondered about that one for a long time. Does my best girlfriend tell her man everything I talk to her about?

I am a firm believer that that your best friend has to be your spouse. So putting myself in the “best friend’s shoes”- I share information under the assumption that the spouse would also know. And I have no problems with that, I trust my best friend’s spouse to love me the way she does. But what if there are just some things I need to share with ONE other friend? Maybe it is best not to tell her at all. Maybe that is where the special one comes in.

I used to think that there should not be any secrets between husband and wife. And I still believe that- that there should not be deliberate hiding of truths or information. Except that as I think more about the issue, and observe the relationships around me, I recognize also the many exceptions that may arise and I will not need or demand to know everything that he knows.

If there is bad blood between the son-in-law and the mother-in-law, should the daughter still tell her mother’s bad habits to her husband? What good will that do except to sow a greater discord and making any possibility of reconciliation even more remote?
If one party’s work involves classified data, what professionalism is there if she goes home to tell him all the insider’s information?
If someone entrust a family problem to me, how am I respecting his privacy if I go tell my best friend something he does not want another person to know?
If A tells me bad things about B, do I go tell B or B’s girlfriend?

I see many couples around me. The maturity & openness of the relationship is not measured by whether the man knows as much as the woman, or vice versa. The need to know betrays insecurity.
If trust is what weaves the relationship fabric, I trust that he will trust me enough to tell me things he wants me to know. I trust that the person I know is who he is. The control freak nature is inside every woman, I am writing this here to remind myself- to respect and trust my man.

And with respect to that complicated world of relationships between friends, my take is to heed Proverbs and do not engage in foolish chatter.

i speak for me

this is just a public announcement that all questions with regards to my sister and xun shall be directed to them straight. i am not their manager nor spokesperson - i speak only for ME.

if you are concerned enough, go ask them about them yourselves. if you are just curious and need some dinner conversation, it's very unkind. boss around some other grounds.

"No comments" henceforth. thanks :)

when it's all been said and done

xun shared this with me... poignant.



i pray that i'd have lived my life for truth, for you Jesus.

There is a Higher Throne

Original music by Kristyn Lennox & lyrics by Keith Getty.

There is a higher throne
Than all this world has known
Where faithful ones from every tongue
Will one day come
Before the Son we'll stand
Made faultless through the Lamb
Believing hearts find promised grace
Salvation comes

Hear heaven's voices sing
Their thunderous anthem rings
Through emerald courts and sapphire skies
Their praises rise
All glory, wisdom, power
Strength, thanks and honour are
To God our King who reigns on high
For evermore

And there we'll find our home
Our life before the throne
We'll honour Him in perfect song
Where we belong
He'll wipe each tear-stained eye
As thirst and hunger die
The Lamb comes as our Shepherd King
We'll reign with him.

***

This is one of my all time favorite contemporary hymn. Inspired by Revelation 7:9-17, Keith Getty does a masterpiece in putting Scripture into song, expressing not only the praise man will have for the Most High when all nations stand before Him on that last day, but it makes me long long long for the new creation.


You can imagine my delight when i found the latest album by Keith in Trumpet Praise yesterday. Newly arranged, beautifully sung by his wife Kristyn.
Pure jewel. Its gonna be one of my morning favorites for a long long time.

And actually, this is one hymn i would love to have at my wedding- well or any wedding for that matter. (sorry, the husband and wife team, together with Henry & Bernice's wedding over the weekend has just made me think a little about these things :p) Anyway, this is not about self-indulgence.. but let me just share a little more about my thoughts...

The title in itself establishes the unseen Throne before man, setting the entire congregation, day and the couple before God Himself.

The joy that flows out from the hymn is fitting for the occassion- but even more so, it tells of a joy of a Day far greater than this day itself. Marriage is a foreshadow of the union between Christ and His church, and as much satisfaction as the union between a man & woman in love can bring- the fullnes of being with God on that Day surpasses that all.
This song reminds the couple to put God first. The sinful spouse will still brng hurt and tears, but Jesus will dry ALL tears when we are with Him. And even as they start building a home here on earth together, it will all pass away- for their home is there, there before the throne.

And of course the praise directed to God in the chorus echoes the worship that man has for their God, when they behold His wisdom & glory & perfect design. To God be the glory!

***

To Henry and Bernice, thank you for revealing the glory of Christ in your lives, in your union, and i am certain- in your household. All my love, best wishes and thoughts, always.

Grandma jo...

i had been grappling with the pain in my right back jaw for the last few days.. sometimes its searing, sometimes its content to remain in the background.. and it was so bad i lost sleep last night coz of that... don think i'm exaggerating okie.. don you dare underestimate a woman's pain threshold. bleah.

anyway decided to go to the dentist after lunch with gabbie, zhiming & xun.. so the dentist sat me down, asked some questions, stuffed some cotton in my mouth, made me hold some metal clip in my hand while he holds some metal equipment to sensitize my teeth... and so apparently i don have sensation in two of my pearlies. so he sent me for an x-ray. man.. so complicating....

so apparently some root canal problem. might be ramnants of my cyst removal couple of years back.. some infection there.. which could either get worse or just remain there.. so will have to go see specialist.. who is super busy, so gotta wait 3 months..

BUT thats not the cause of my ache.. BLEAH. its like opening pandora box to a bigger problem, and still not having the original problem fixed.. and so i have to live with it till it heals.. (*hint: prayer needed*) he prescribed some muscle relaxer for me, which i rolled my eyes.. didnt feel like gettting it so i just scurried off without going to the pharmacist as told.. heh. :p

it really is heatiness i swear.. so many people told me.. (though someone will roll his eyes...) so am staying off heaty food for a while... and more sleep.. and more water.. and let this machine get well by herself.. the Creator is an ingenious Designer- didnt you know that?

anyhow, now grandma jo takes like half an hour to eat a piece of apple. sad sad case.. and she has been warned not to open her mouth too big, not stretch her muscle, not irritate it.. and be careful when she yawn *YAWN*

btw, realized that the cleaning services at the NUH dental center also not very cheap.. 60-80 bucks.. about the same as what i pay when i go to Epismile!! hmph... condemn me for going to private clinic???

Joshua

One question bugged me during the study of Joshua in DM last season-
Why did God have to make the Israelites conquer Canaan? Since it is the Promised Land, since they have suffered enough by roaming the desert for forty years, and since it’s a gift- why not just give them a piece of land that was uninhabited? Why a piece of land that was occupied by pagans who idol worship? Why make them fight bloody battles and suffer deaths? Why not just a land flowing with milk and honey in a part of the world that was not occupied?

I recognize that it belonged to a category of questions that were unanswerable- why did God do what He did? The best answers are sensible conjectures at best. But I was really perplexed, I didn’t understand God’s way- it didn’t make sense to me.
I resigned to “God’s sovereignty”, learn the lessons God wants us to from His dealings with Israel, and “respected His free will to do as He did”- after all He’s God and I’m not. But after musing about it over time, I cannot say “to have seen the light”, but some thoughts arose.

Think about this- this is a generation that only heard about the deeds of God passed down to them from their fore-fathers, the first generation experiencing the Exodus had perished. A strong heritage of God’s presence is no doubt something to be proud of, to find confidence in- but somehow, it still “belonged to our forefathers”.
Maybe that’s why Moses had to tell the people that the covenant was not made with the forefathers, but with them as well. But with God leading them into battles and giving them victory, they inherited the Promised Land with a strong legacy.
Lord, I don want to just hear stories about you from the past. I learn about You from them, and I believe, but I want You to bring me with You into the battlefield Lord. To see you in action, to make His-story with You.

They fought and played a part in claiming the land called their own, God allowed them to share the ownership of the gift He had prepared for them. They fought and knew God in a way they never would have known, God showed Himself to these people through these tests. They fought and grew, God knew best the way to make His kind of man. They fought, and failed, and repented, God showed them who was God.
Lord, thank you for giving worthless creatures as us a part to play in Your mighty plan for creation. The goodness and glory is Yours alone, but You graciously allow us to partake in it. Help us Lord to see You through it all.
Thank you for all the trials and tests that come our way. You know us best and how we need to grow. You are the Potter and we are the clay. Mould us Lord, and have us cling on to the end Lord, like how the clay just sticks on the Potter’s hand.

Happy Father's Day!

To my daddy on earth and in heaven, Happy Father's Day!

Thank you & You for your love to me.

Heartbreak hotel (I)

This is not a place of healing- I have to be honest with my guests. I offer them no remedy to cure their heartache, nor remove the scars they have. Just a place to tell their story, just a place to get some air.

Auburn hair, hazel eyes, an air of sophistication followed her about. She sat in the café for long hours in the afternoons. Smoking her cigarette, sipping her latte, listening to the band play. Sometimes looking deep into an unseen reality unfolding before her eyes, occasionally chatting with a stranger who asked to share her table. She asked me to sit with her one day.

“I saw the questions in your eyes,” she smiled. I fiddled in my seat embarrassed, as my eyes stayed on the wedding band round her finger. I noticed it when she first checked in during the fall of 99, and every time she came round subsequently. She had made many trips here - some trips longer than the rest, sometimes just dropping in for a cuppa.

“Do you know how many times your heart can get broken?” She broke into my recollections. “It seems that no matter how small a piece you have left from the last time it broke, it can shatter some more. Each time the pain is fresh and you don think you can survive another ounce of ache, but you do. It’s such a cruel exercise- you preserve your heart to keep yourself alive, but as it barely learns how to breathe, he breaks it again. He does not know how painful it is, he isn’t even aware how much I cry, he does not even know how much it takes me to hope again, he does not even know that I know..”

***

A loves B and only B, but B loves not only A. Sometimes another lover, sometimes just a fling. But if you love him, here’s the place to mend your heart each time it’s torn apart. Check in here if you want to be able to survive in this waiting game. Get some air, and return to wait again.

***

side note: yay! the small font is working again!

thank you kor...

on behalf of the many who had benefitted from your giving... echoing the deep sentiments of my heart... thank you for giving to the Lord, i am so glad you gave.

my condolence

you don know me, and it does not matter at all. just need to give this tiny ache in my heart a little space to breathe.

you were only sixteen when you left home, leaving behind green fields and walked into dark grey forests. for education and hope of a better life, for your family’s glory and mummy’s dream. you went away.

yellow faces you never saw, a tongue you never spoke. a culture totally different from your own, loneliness you’ve never known before. for the better tomorrow in sight, for the pride that will be their eyes- you worked hard and swallowed all your tears inside.

now daddy’s gone and you’re far away, having no money to return home. the pain of love lost, the wrench of not being there. the solitude of facing loss alone, the burn of leaving them on their own.

nothing anyone can say will ease the grief, nothing will lessen the pain. but know that there is someone out there who faced the same, and overcame. rest in Him brother, and take joy you will see dad again one day.

Something there

When I remember…

God told the Israelites to “Remember…”, to not forget what He has done for them, to recall His goodness. This is an apparent application point for any bible study on those passages in the Pentateuch. A basis to return to when relating to God, a starting point for thanksgiving, a remedy to cure ungratefulness. A provision and reminder from our loving God has to keep His straying children faithful? Maybe.

Often in our conversations, Arthur says “Remember the time when…” and we recollect with much fondness something we have done together. A secret smile beams from the heart as we think about a particular event or time we had together. “Remembering” became alive for me.

Remembering is not just an activity of the mind- a call to our grey matter the past. It engages and affects the heart, and an upwelling of emotions engulfs us.
Remembering is not an inability to move on from the past. It is a natural activity between two who are in love, holding on dearly to the good the other has done.
Remembering is not just a desperate attempt to invoke or force feelings for the other. It affirms and assures, grounds and gives strength to the relationship between.

When God tells us to remember, it is personal. It is real. It ought to shake us at the deepest of our nerves, when we remember how He parted the sea for His people and drowned the enemies that come after. It ought to tear our hearts apart, when we remember how we like our forefathers curse God for taking us out of Egypt. It ought to be a desire for us, to remember the love that was displayed on the cross where Jesus accomplished salvation and bought with His blood the gift of life for us.

No doubt we forgetful people need to make it a discipline to remember His deeds, and it may take a deliberate effort sometimes. But think about this: Do you think Moses have to dig hard into his memory as he recounted what God did for Israel? Was Daniel practicing false piety as he remembered God’s faithfulness in his prayer while he is in exile? Did the early church fake the strength they found as they recalled His acts for their forefathers?
Why then does remembering become such a painful activity for us today? The communion becomes but a slap in our faces, reminding us of our callous hearts.

Our fathers of faith knew God and loved Him. They claimed the God that was revealed in His dealings with their ancestors as their own. Remembering Him was their favorite activity- be it His great acts in the past, or His personal intervention in their lives. God’s acts shook them to the core. What they had with God is a loving relationship, a passionate journey. Then the walk becomes worth remembering, and the story worth telling and retelling and written and passed on.

Dear God,
Make me love you more, help me know you deeper- such that remembering becomes my natural activity and telling about you is my favorite story.
What You did for my fathers of faith, it is mine to claim. For You are unchanging yesterday today, forever the same.
Let worship result when I remember, let praise for You spring forth. You alone are worthy of honor and glory, we need to remember.
Amen.

A prayer...

I prayed for love and perseverance
You showed me how little I have
I thought I had and knew how to
Alas, there’s so much more to learn.

Take away the Pharisaical judgments
Break those scales that seek to weigh
Remove my grudges and complaints
I’m tired of playing games.

Shatter my stained-glass faith
Raise the blinds that conceal Your ways
Burn away the hypocrisy and folly
Have me touch your heart again.

Return me to my first love for You Jesus
For You and my neighbor
Make me more like You Lord
And live for Your glory today.

POP! 1

have heard many songs for the first time on the radio.. but few would make me wanna go check it out thereafter. heard this on the radio the other night.. and it made me think of a certain someone. so here's a dedication for him..(unbashedly *blush*)

yes its bubblegum pop on a disney footage- SHOOT ME :p

Flash update :p

Just when I thought no one will be interested in an “update of my life”, my dear friend just asked for one… so in honor of the bride-to-be, here’s a quick journal of my life up to date… read on only if you’re absolutely bored. :p

lets tackle the easy ones first. You must have heard about the Thomson-Reuters deal, so I am very much sitting around waiting for my severance package.. hahaha.. As closed as this deal is, so are my plans to be making a career switch. yes, I’ve whined and moaned and groaned and set myself up a couple of walls- and right now I am just gonna stay here till He moves me out of this place. Nope, my dreams have not died- just waiting for Him to make the seed inside grow at His perfect time.

things at home are pretty fine. dad’s home after a long time away- so spending as much time as I possibly can with him. I can only thank God for all that He has done for and given to us. Ohana means family, family means no one gets left behind, or forgotten. OHANA!!!

ministry is well, ministry :) Thankfully the days of hoping in Him are more than that with being disappointed with man. Remembering His faithfulness gets me through days when I fear “we have somehow lost our first love”. I look at churches who have raring engines and a “well built structure”, I wonder “when will it be our turn?” It’s not a desire “to have arrived”, the ache for man to love God and the church more is greater. But I have somehow become contented with persevering, struggling, and accept that hard work is all there is to my lot in ministry. Fruits? it’s His to give, and mine to hope. Glory be to Him alone!

it’s Friday everyone.. remember to Re-Create in Him this Sabbath!