Lines of confidence

What happens when a job comes in between a husband and wife? If James Bond ever got married, I do not envisage him sharing all of the confidential information M entrusted him with to his wife. If the pastor’s wife is a gossip monger (yes, godly men can have wives with weaknesses), should he tell her everything his church members tell him?

Does the “not sharing everything I know” mean that I do not trust you?
Or if the person who has shared with me told me specifically to not tell anyone else- do I keep that trust and not tell the person I trust most on earth?
But if I cant tell the trusted person, how can it mean that I trust him? Do I show that I am trusting by breaking another’s trust?

What happens when a man comes in between best friends? I have wondered about that one for a long time. Does my best girlfriend tell her man everything I talk to her about?

I am a firm believer that that your best friend has to be your spouse. So putting myself in the “best friend’s shoes”- I share information under the assumption that the spouse would also know. And I have no problems with that, I trust my best friend’s spouse to love me the way she does. But what if there are just some things I need to share with ONE other friend? Maybe it is best not to tell her at all. Maybe that is where the special one comes in.

I used to think that there should not be any secrets between husband and wife. And I still believe that- that there should not be deliberate hiding of truths or information. Except that as I think more about the issue, and observe the relationships around me, I recognize also the many exceptions that may arise and I will not need or demand to know everything that he knows.

If there is bad blood between the son-in-law and the mother-in-law, should the daughter still tell her mother’s bad habits to her husband? What good will that do except to sow a greater discord and making any possibility of reconciliation even more remote?
If one party’s work involves classified data, what professionalism is there if she goes home to tell him all the insider’s information?
If someone entrust a family problem to me, how am I respecting his privacy if I go tell my best friend something he does not want another person to know?
If A tells me bad things about B, do I go tell B or B’s girlfriend?

I see many couples around me. The maturity & openness of the relationship is not measured by whether the man knows as much as the woman, or vice versa. The need to know betrays insecurity.
If trust is what weaves the relationship fabric, I trust that he will trust me enough to tell me things he wants me to know. I trust that the person I know is who he is. The control freak nature is inside every woman, I am writing this here to remind myself- to respect and trust my man.

And with respect to that complicated world of relationships between friends, my take is to heed Proverbs and do not engage in foolish chatter.