Finally, rest was forced upon me when I fell terribly ill this weekend. I don’t remember being this sick for a long time now- even sleeping was difficult because my throat was in so much pain. Lying on my sides caused my nose to “leak”, and lying on my back made me feel the “weight” of the horizontal passage between the nasal cavity and my lungs- I’ll pass on the delivery content. Now, I know why most medicine had to cause drowsiness- otherwise the poor patient will not even be able to sleep at all.
So it’s being barred from all the normal routine that’s giving me some time to update my neglected bloggie. And perhaps this is the best way to “talk to you” now since it’s hard for me to speak at all.
Well work has been crazy to say the very least. Zapping quite a bit of my energy day by day. But I am not complaining because I know many others out there are working as hard.
The thing I still am not able to resolve is that when I clearly know the priority that family has over work- I still end up giving a lot less to the family. Less time, less attention, less patience, less thought. Family time is like my down-time, when I get to vegetate, be quiet, be who i want to be at that moment- but the problem? It doesn’t make me a fun person to be around.
I think I need a mindset shift for this one. To be giving my best energy for whoever I am around, or whatever I am doing at that moment- and to plan for a separate personal down-time. Worth a try.
Arthur and I have been contemplating buying a flat. Many are advising us to wait till the second half of the year when prices will drop some more, but I wonder if everyone is waiting for the same- wouldn’t demand prevent any drastic falls? I pray God will lead us to the “tent” He wants us to live in, in His own time. This is something a little too big for this young couple with the 101 considerations to make on their own.
My previous blog entry sparked some concern- thanks for asking after and praying for me. I think I’m pretty ok now. Perhaps when there’s a later chance, or when the moment of inspiration comes for me to write more about the subject matter- I would. But at this point, looking through granny’s glasses suffices to teach my heart a new lesson- that we are all still too young, have too many days (God willing) and are still too far from the finishing line to grow weary. We all need a little more perseverance and capacity for trials man!
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Monday, February 09, 2009
Out of the curtain
There are some things I cannot talk about recently without tears welling up- maybe that’s why I choose to stay clear of these conversations for as long as I can help it.
To hide within the curtain- initially set up by fatigue, but subsequently an easy escape, to stay away from lives around me. To face the fears of ministry only when they find me. But truth is also that I am not even sure if I can explain why I’m feeling what I’m feeling.
What He has shown me, I am trying to repent of. The rationalization of my thoughts during this season, keeping Him out of the picture because I think I know the reasons why. My hiding away from Him and assuming His thoughts and response. The anger, frustration, fear and pettiness.
When He sang to me “You'll find no curtain there, No reason left for fear;
There's perfect freedom here To weep every unwept tear”
When He told me “My greatest desire is to be with you”
When He reminded me that “You’re my princess I bought with my crown”
When my heart finally heard Him, I know I have at last been found.
I wish the conference this weekend could be a magical antidote to purge the poison out once for all. But today, I see more clearly that the healing is perhaps still in its infancy. Root cause analysis is satisfactory for head problems, but when it’s a heart problem I am encouraged to hear that- just as the wisdom writings force the wise to see the inadequacy of wisdom, neither would the answers I have suffice.
As Michael Card well puts it “the miracle of Job is the movement of God- when God is moved by Job’s tears and shows up”. And at the end of the day, the hurts do not just go away. His presence will be the only comfort we have now. And we will move on when we are ready with the scars we bear.
p/s: Pardon the incoherence and things in abstract. But to bring you comfort, I am joyfully, gratefully, blissfully married to my 2 husbands- both of whom are kings in their own right.. *winks*
To hide within the curtain- initially set up by fatigue, but subsequently an easy escape, to stay away from lives around me. To face the fears of ministry only when they find me. But truth is also that I am not even sure if I can explain why I’m feeling what I’m feeling.
What He has shown me, I am trying to repent of. The rationalization of my thoughts during this season, keeping Him out of the picture because I think I know the reasons why. My hiding away from Him and assuming His thoughts and response. The anger, frustration, fear and pettiness.
When He sang to me “You'll find no curtain there, No reason left for fear;
There's perfect freedom here To weep every unwept tear”
When He told me “My greatest desire is to be with you”
When He reminded me that “You’re my princess I bought with my crown”
When my heart finally heard Him, I know I have at last been found.
I wish the conference this weekend could be a magical antidote to purge the poison out once for all. But today, I see more clearly that the healing is perhaps still in its infancy. Root cause analysis is satisfactory for head problems, but when it’s a heart problem I am encouraged to hear that- just as the wisdom writings force the wise to see the inadequacy of wisdom, neither would the answers I have suffice.
As Michael Card well puts it “the miracle of Job is the movement of God- when God is moved by Job’s tears and shows up”. And at the end of the day, the hurts do not just go away. His presence will be the only comfort we have now. And we will move on when we are ready with the scars we bear.
p/s: Pardon the incoherence and things in abstract. But to bring you comfort, I am joyfully, gratefully, blissfully married to my 2 husbands- both of whom are kings in their own right.. *winks*
Monday, January 26, 2009
Being blind
I was thinking the other day- how would you describe a tree to someone who is blind from birth. How will you explain what green is? Or how will you describe what tall is? What image will be formed in his mind, when he is thinking of a flower, or a chair, or the sun?
How will he appreciate the way he is dressing today not being able to take in his reflection in the mirror, or the magnificence of the moment when she is performing in front of a crowd of thousands? Without any prior experience or image as a point of reference, what is their world like?
What if I am blind one day and not be able to see the faces of my loved ones again? What if I am no longer able to behold the beauty of creation? What sights will I miss most? How will I go about doing the simple dailies? Who will I finally learn to see with my heart? How will I feel when I get to regain my sight again?
“Thank you God that I can see today. Let my eyes see and perceive the things and people you have created. Let my eyes not be blind to the simple treasures in life that are so precious.”
How will he appreciate the way he is dressing today not being able to take in his reflection in the mirror, or the magnificence of the moment when she is performing in front of a crowd of thousands? Without any prior experience or image as a point of reference, what is their world like?
What if I am blind one day and not be able to see the faces of my loved ones again? What if I am no longer able to behold the beauty of creation? What sights will I miss most? How will I go about doing the simple dailies? Who will I finally learn to see with my heart? How will I feel when I get to regain my sight again?
“Thank you God that I can see today. Let my eyes see and perceive the things and people you have created. Let my eyes not be blind to the simple treasures in life that are so precious.”
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Emo side of things
They were still in shock that it happened. He broke up with her so quickly, so abruptly. They knew that he had been in anguish for a while, feeling trapped by the demands that were so laid upon him. But his sudden departure caught them unprepared.
Though they had known her first, he had become a dear friend they knew as their own through the years. The thought that both their beloved friends were hurting caused them much heartache, their helplessness to provide relief compounded the pain.
Deeper still in the manifolds of emotions, was the murky mud of questions that each of them were straddling through on their own. None had the heart to say aloud what they feel. Perhaps because they knew it to be secondary to what he was going through, perhaps because they did not want to further plague him with the trivialities of what they were feeling, perhaps because they knew there was no answer they can hope to receive. The questions made the sense of loss with his leaving even more acute.
Had they not been friends who talked heart to heart through the night? Did they not go through the ups and downs together in years passed? Was what they had so superficial that he could not bear to confide in them when he was battling in anguish? What was it then that they shared, when they were not able to be there and provide help to their relationship in time? Did more than one relationship have to end just because he broke up with her?
Thursday, January 01, 2009
Welcome 2009!
So 2009 has crept in just like that. Happy New Year everyone!
I have not really thought of what this new year might bring for us, nor made any resolutions- more later. For now, here are some pictures from the holiday season in the last 2 months of 2008- Enjoy!
They are from:
The Cookie Decorating party with 4 of my favorite girls,
Desserts Making (yes, THE cupcakes, and Arthur’s yummilicious chocolate fudge- thanks to Dad & Mom’s Christmas package),
Christmas Party at Gayle's,
Breakfast Burritos on Christmas morning prepared by Chef Arthur,
New Year’s Day trip to Pulau Ubin,
And a simple New Year’s Day dinner.
I have not really thought of what this new year might bring for us, nor made any resolutions- more later. For now, here are some pictures from the holiday season in the last 2 months of 2008- Enjoy!
They are from:
The Cookie Decorating party with 4 of my favorite girls,
Desserts Making (yes, THE cupcakes, and Arthur’s yummilicious chocolate fudge- thanks to Dad & Mom’s Christmas package),
Christmas Party at Gayle's,
Breakfast Burritos on Christmas morning prepared by Chef Arthur,
New Year’s Day trip to Pulau Ubin,
And a simple New Year’s Day dinner.
Friday, December 26, 2008
Christmas Cooking
Mom was really nice when she wrote to me and said, “You are very ambitious and adventurous. You're going to be a great cook. I know because trying is 90% of the requirement.” (Thanks Mom!!) This is something I need to keep in my heart and remind myself each time my baking outing fails- like this time, again.
This time, the adventure was to make a Cupcake Christmas Tree (tiny cupcakes, stacked in the form of a Christmas tree) for Gayle’s party. I didn’t want the entire tree to taste and look the same- and it would be too boring for me to make so many batches of the same thing. After going through a whole lot of combinations in my head- I settled on three: Double-chocolate swirl, Peppermint frosting and Candy rice Cupcakes.
I tried to melt the white chocolate bar Mom & Brittany left me. My last attempt to melt it in the microwave failed so miserably, I even melted a hole in the container. The double-boil method from the cooking instruction on the back of the box looked easy enough. As the white chocolate bar started to melt in the bowl, it still looked a little lumpy. So I borrowed Arthur’s idea from making icing to add in some milk. It looked really good. And my, was I pleased.
Happily, I started to pour a layer of the white chocolate into the half-filled tiny cupcakes. Then, I took a tooth-pick to try to swirl it around to mix the colors of the dark brown chocolate cake mix and white chocolate. In my mind, pretty cupcakes with white and dark brown circles started to form. How pretty! The outcome could not be further than that, as I took out the first batch of cupcakes from the oven.
For reasons still unknown to me, the cupcakes overflowed and the colors were a mess. It was definitely far from the pretty little things that I sent into the oven. The cupcakes did not rise properly like the Candy rice ones and looked flat. Not to mention, the baking tray had burnt sugar hard as rock all over. Lesson: To make swirled cakes, I need two batches of cake mix- using simply melted chocolate would not do.
It is defeating having your first batch to turn out like that, but I still had so many cupcakes to go- I must press on. But I could not afford to screw many more batches up. So I opted for safety, and sent batches of plain chocolate cupcakes and Candy rice ones into the oven. Now, I need to figure out the peppermint frosting.
I was not able to find mint extract in the supermarket (upsetting!), so I thought my peppermint frosting idea had to go kaput. In an instant of God-given enlightenment, I started to search for something peppermint at home- though I still wasn’t sure how it was going to help, but finding something minty would be a good place to start. No more peppermint wine, nor mint chocolate slice. Argh.
Lo and behold, a bag of peppermint candies! Would melted peppermint candies do the trick? I tried to double boil the candies- they turned soft, it’s working! But it was hardly liquid or substantial enough, so I threw the white chocolate bars in. And I got white chocolate peppermint frosting, this is yummy! Lesson: You do not need icing sugar to making icing! Arthur and I spent the rest of the evening putting on the icing for the petite cupcakes.
Susan and everyone else who bakes, advocate following baking recipes to the T. This is a serious problem for me. Every time I read cook books, I learn about different techniques, and get a whole lot of ideas swimming in my head. When the rubber hits the road and I am seriously trying to cook something from a recipe, I will be wondering if I can replace something with something, or doing something differently from another recipe. This time round, I was simply making up the recipe in my head. Creativity and instruction need to find their rightful place in my culinary outings.
This probably wraps up my cooking diary for 2008. I just want to thank-
my very forgiving & easy-to-please husband (who made superb chocolate fudge & yummy breakfast burritos without casualties- bravo!) for his advice and encouragement,
all the awesome cooks in the Kok family for your inspiration and tips,
my 2 very “willing” food-tasters at home for surviving the numerous tortures I have put you through, and
all of you who kindly had a bite or two of something I made so far.
Thank YOU!
This time, the adventure was to make a Cupcake Christmas Tree (tiny cupcakes, stacked in the form of a Christmas tree) for Gayle’s party. I didn’t want the entire tree to taste and look the same- and it would be too boring for me to make so many batches of the same thing. After going through a whole lot of combinations in my head- I settled on three: Double-chocolate swirl, Peppermint frosting and Candy rice Cupcakes.
I tried to melt the white chocolate bar Mom & Brittany left me. My last attempt to melt it in the microwave failed so miserably, I even melted a hole in the container. The double-boil method from the cooking instruction on the back of the box looked easy enough. As the white chocolate bar started to melt in the bowl, it still looked a little lumpy. So I borrowed Arthur’s idea from making icing to add in some milk. It looked really good. And my, was I pleased.
Happily, I started to pour a layer of the white chocolate into the half-filled tiny cupcakes. Then, I took a tooth-pick to try to swirl it around to mix the colors of the dark brown chocolate cake mix and white chocolate. In my mind, pretty cupcakes with white and dark brown circles started to form. How pretty! The outcome could not be further than that, as I took out the first batch of cupcakes from the oven.
For reasons still unknown to me, the cupcakes overflowed and the colors were a mess. It was definitely far from the pretty little things that I sent into the oven. The cupcakes did not rise properly like the Candy rice ones and looked flat. Not to mention, the baking tray had burnt sugar hard as rock all over. Lesson: To make swirled cakes, I need two batches of cake mix- using simply melted chocolate would not do.
It is defeating having your first batch to turn out like that, but I still had so many cupcakes to go- I must press on. But I could not afford to screw many more batches up. So I opted for safety, and sent batches of plain chocolate cupcakes and Candy rice ones into the oven. Now, I need to figure out the peppermint frosting.
I was not able to find mint extract in the supermarket (upsetting!), so I thought my peppermint frosting idea had to go kaput. In an instant of God-given enlightenment, I started to search for something peppermint at home- though I still wasn’t sure how it was going to help, but finding something minty would be a good place to start. No more peppermint wine, nor mint chocolate slice. Argh.
Lo and behold, a bag of peppermint candies! Would melted peppermint candies do the trick? I tried to double boil the candies- they turned soft, it’s working! But it was hardly liquid or substantial enough, so I threw the white chocolate bars in. And I got white chocolate peppermint frosting, this is yummy! Lesson: You do not need icing sugar to making icing! Arthur and I spent the rest of the evening putting on the icing for the petite cupcakes.
Susan and everyone else who bakes, advocate following baking recipes to the T. This is a serious problem for me. Every time I read cook books, I learn about different techniques, and get a whole lot of ideas swimming in my head. When the rubber hits the road and I am seriously trying to cook something from a recipe, I will be wondering if I can replace something with something, or doing something differently from another recipe. This time round, I was simply making up the recipe in my head. Creativity and instruction need to find their rightful place in my culinary outings.
This probably wraps up my cooking diary for 2008. I just want to thank-
my very forgiving & easy-to-please husband (who made superb chocolate fudge & yummy breakfast burritos without casualties- bravo!) for his advice and encouragement,
all the awesome cooks in the Kok family for your inspiration and tips,
my 2 very “willing” food-tasters at home for surviving the numerous tortures I have put you through, and
all of you who kindly had a bite or two of something I made so far.
Thank YOU!
Thursday, December 18, 2008
This Christmas
I'm really excited about Christmas today, in midst of all my late working nights, stress and fatigue lately, my heart has managed to skip to a beat again. Thank you Daddy!
Maybe it's coz of the cookie party with the little girls tonight,
maybe it's coz of the Christmas parties happening at Serene's & Esther's tomorrow,
maybe it's coz Huixin and Zhiyong agreed to come,
maybe it's coz of the service this sunday in ORPC about Lessons on Carols,
maybe it's coz of the Christmas eve party at Gayle's and candlelight service,
maybe it's coz of making my first breakfast burritos and reading the nativity story on Christmas morning,
maybe it's coz of the Christmas lunch at Amy's,
maybe it's coz of calling the family on Christmas evening and be there as they open the prezzies.
Fwah, full- Christmas starts today!
Christmas is my favourite holiday, not just because of all the fun and parties, eating and drinking, prezzies and traditions. i love the celebratory spirit of giving, of loving, of family and friends coming together. i love the beauty of the season.
And i love it most, when having celebrated so many years of Christmas, the Holy Spirit moves us once more when man hears of the story of the baby in the manger. I love it most, when hardened hearts become melted marshmellows, having met the Man who is more than a carpenter. So here's sharing my other favourite song this Christmas - Who would imagine a king?
Maybe it's coz of the cookie party with the little girls tonight,
maybe it's coz of the Christmas parties happening at Serene's & Esther's tomorrow,
maybe it's coz Huixin and Zhiyong agreed to come,
maybe it's coz of the service this sunday in ORPC about Lessons on Carols,
maybe it's coz of the Christmas eve party at Gayle's and candlelight service,
maybe it's coz of making my first breakfast burritos and reading the nativity story on Christmas morning,
maybe it's coz of the Christmas lunch at Amy's,
maybe it's coz of calling the family on Christmas evening and be there as they open the prezzies.
Fwah, full- Christmas starts today!
Christmas is my favourite holiday, not just because of all the fun and parties, eating and drinking, prezzies and traditions. i love the celebratory spirit of giving, of loving, of family and friends coming together. i love the beauty of the season.
And i love it most, when having celebrated so many years of Christmas, the Holy Spirit moves us once more when man hears of the story of the baby in the manger. I love it most, when hardened hearts become melted marshmellows, having met the Man who is more than a carpenter. So here's sharing my other favourite song this Christmas - Who would imagine a king?
Tuesday, December 09, 2008
My grown up Christmas List
The trimmings & decorations can be passed off as commercialized gimmicks, but the beauty of the tall Christmas tree, red bows and candlelights can act to remind us the beauty of that silent night, when God became a man. The beauty of the starry skies when the angels sang, the beauty of the serenity when the baby laid in the manger, the beauty He beheld in sinful men- when He chose to give up His royal robes.
It's too hard to let Christmas slip by as just another holiday, too cold & heartless to not be moved by the message of the season. It's been a hard year for many for different reasons- but surely where there is life and hope, and when we can sit upon the knees of our Heavenly Father who love and care and give, let His children write Him a Christmas list today.
My Grown up Christmas List this year - a church with people who care and give, a world with a church who cares and gives.
It's too hard to let Christmas slip by as just another holiday, too cold & heartless to not be moved by the message of the season. It's been a hard year for many for different reasons- but surely where there is life and hope, and when we can sit upon the knees of our Heavenly Father who love and care and give, let His children write Him a Christmas list today.
My Grown up Christmas List this year - a church with people who care and give, a world with a church who cares and gives.
Monday, December 01, 2008
Thanksgiving blunders
I was ambitious this Thanksgiving. Attempted many first time dishes for the 2 meals I made this season- some of which are a resounding success, and some made me learn lessons about life & myself.
The family menu on Thursday night looked something like that- bacon & cheese stuffed mushrooms (it’s surprisingly easier than it sounds), crunchy romaine salad (one of Arthur’s favorite salad modified by using balsamic vinegar), mashed sweet potatoes (yummy), Swedish meatballs & rosti (don ever buy frozen rosti from Ikea, yucks!), pizza and lemon bars.
The BIG blunder for that night was my festive cider. When I served the drink excitedly to Arthur, he was like “interesting… it has a very strong taste”. I was like “Yeah, I didn’t understand why I had to put so much garlic into the drink”. “Why did you boil it with garlic?” “The recipe called for cloves.” His laughter was uncontrollable for the next 10 minutes.
So I learnt that cloves are not just collective nouns for garlic, but is a spice. Why didn’t they teach that in school?
I wanted to do something really traditional for the party on Saturday night. So the menu consisted of-
Meats: Chicken & stuffing with cranberry sauce (had wanted to do a turkey, but ‘chickened in’ after I realized I had no fridge space for a Butterball), Meatloaf (recipe with ketchup, obviously for the ketchup lover), Pineapple stuffed sausages with melted cheese,
Carbs: Mashed potatoes & gravy, dinner rolls (garlic & cream cheese)
Greens: Crunchy Romain salad (finally found my Red Wine Vinegar @ Carrefour), Boiled carrots and Green beans casserole with corn & mushrooms
Desserts: Pumpkin pie & Lemon bars
Drinks: Festive cider (this time boiled with real cloves), Sangria
So what went wrong this time… hmm.. I was too lazy to do the short-crust pastry for the pie, so I opted for the frozen pie pastry. After I rolled it out, fitted it nicely into the pie dish, and folded the edges into a pretty looking pie, I sent it into the oven to partially bake it.
When I checked it 7 minutes later.. Yikes, the sides started to curl and shrink away. So obviously I had to take it out and try to salvage it- how else was I to pour the pumpkin filling into a curled-up pie? So I tried to knead the hot dough back onto its sides, patching it however I could. My fingers turned pink coz of the heat. And sadly, my once-pretty pie frills no longer looked pretty. But thankfully, the dough held up this time. So I put some rice into the pie to act as pie weights.
When the pie base was ready for its filling, I had to remove the rice bits. I started picking them off. But I got impatient, so I tried to turn the pie over to shake them off. What happened next was a no-brainer. The pie fell, and broke. GOSH. But again, thankfully, the dough was not entirely cooked, so I was still able to piece them back together.
Impatience for a young baking apprentice is a killer. Perhaps I need to bake more to learn better lessons on following instructions and patience. Sorry, not too many pictures because we forgot to take them :(
The family menu on Thursday night looked something like that- bacon & cheese stuffed mushrooms (it’s surprisingly easier than it sounds), crunchy romaine salad (one of Arthur’s favorite salad modified by using balsamic vinegar), mashed sweet potatoes (yummy), Swedish meatballs & rosti (don ever buy frozen rosti from Ikea, yucks!), pizza and lemon bars.
The BIG blunder for that night was my festive cider. When I served the drink excitedly to Arthur, he was like “interesting… it has a very strong taste”. I was like “Yeah, I didn’t understand why I had to put so much garlic into the drink”. “Why did you boil it with garlic?” “The recipe called for cloves.” His laughter was uncontrollable for the next 10 minutes.
So I learnt that cloves are not just collective nouns for garlic, but is a spice. Why didn’t they teach that in school?
I wanted to do something really traditional for the party on Saturday night. So the menu consisted of-
Meats: Chicken & stuffing with cranberry sauce (had wanted to do a turkey, but ‘chickened in’ after I realized I had no fridge space for a Butterball), Meatloaf (recipe with ketchup, obviously for the ketchup lover), Pineapple stuffed sausages with melted cheese,
Carbs: Mashed potatoes & gravy, dinner rolls (garlic & cream cheese)
Greens: Crunchy Romain salad (finally found my Red Wine Vinegar @ Carrefour), Boiled carrots and Green beans casserole with corn & mushrooms
Desserts: Pumpkin pie & Lemon bars
Drinks: Festive cider (this time boiled with real cloves), Sangria
So what went wrong this time… hmm.. I was too lazy to do the short-crust pastry for the pie, so I opted for the frozen pie pastry. After I rolled it out, fitted it nicely into the pie dish, and folded the edges into a pretty looking pie, I sent it into the oven to partially bake it.
When I checked it 7 minutes later.. Yikes, the sides started to curl and shrink away. So obviously I had to take it out and try to salvage it- how else was I to pour the pumpkin filling into a curled-up pie? So I tried to knead the hot dough back onto its sides, patching it however I could. My fingers turned pink coz of the heat. And sadly, my once-pretty pie frills no longer looked pretty. But thankfully, the dough held up this time. So I put some rice into the pie to act as pie weights.
When the pie base was ready for its filling, I had to remove the rice bits. I started picking them off. But I got impatient, so I tried to turn the pie over to shake them off. What happened next was a no-brainer. The pie fell, and broke. GOSH. But again, thankfully, the dough was not entirely cooked, so I was still able to piece them back together.
Impatience for a young baking apprentice is a killer. Perhaps I need to bake more to learn better lessons on following instructions and patience. Sorry, not too many pictures because we forgot to take them :(
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Happy Feet
There are 2 reasons why this weekend is about Happy Feet.
Firstly of course, I watched the cartoon of the same title on Sunday with the jogging clique. Thanks to the rain, we ended up at Serene’s place watching this penguin flick that I missed in the theatres. And it was really pretty fun! I like baby Mumble A LOT- such a cute little fluff-ball. Wish he didn’t have to grow up though. Hmm.. why do the baby animals in these cartoons always have to grow up? Bambi, The Lion King, etc, etc.
After learning more about these white knights in black coat from March of the Penguins, I have a profound respect for these creatures (though I think in real life, they look pretty ugly and scary close up), and can only stand in awe of the creator.
God in creating them, revealed His faithfulness, and single-mindedness in loving. That’s why Papa Penguin is always able to find Mama Penguin in midst of the thousands after winter. And if even Papa Penguin can protect the egg with their lives, what more our Papa in heaven?
Being reminded that creation is bigger than the human species and summation of our experiences, the nature that exists at the tips of the globe is testament that life is truly larger than our existence.
Secondly, my feet are happy again. *yay!!!*
There was this wart/ corn that has been bothering my right feet for many months. It became really painful 2 weeks ago- though the doctor refused to pay heed to me then and thought I was making a mountain out of a molehill. Argh.
This weekend, I went to another doctor- obviously because it became so painful that I could not even walk properly any more. He shaved off thick dead skin that had grown, to reveal some pus that had solidified inside my foot. Viral infection he said.
But he could not do much more at that time, as I was whining and groaning in pain (I do think women have a pretty high threshold of pain, even then…). So he gave me some anti-biotics cream and oral anti-biotics (one week course) to take. Gosh- was that necessary? Now I think he’s making a mountain out of a mole hill.
So now the good news is- I managed to squeeze the solidified pus out on Sunday night!! It looked like a tiny pearl.. Yippee!! So no more pain when I walk, and I have happy feet :) :) :)
Firstly of course, I watched the cartoon of the same title on Sunday with the jogging clique. Thanks to the rain, we ended up at Serene’s place watching this penguin flick that I missed in the theatres. And it was really pretty fun! I like baby Mumble A LOT- such a cute little fluff-ball. Wish he didn’t have to grow up though. Hmm.. why do the baby animals in these cartoons always have to grow up? Bambi, The Lion King, etc, etc.
After learning more about these white knights in black coat from March of the Penguins, I have a profound respect for these creatures (though I think in real life, they look pretty ugly and scary close up), and can only stand in awe of the creator.
God in creating them, revealed His faithfulness, and single-mindedness in loving. That’s why Papa Penguin is always able to find Mama Penguin in midst of the thousands after winter. And if even Papa Penguin can protect the egg with their lives, what more our Papa in heaven?
Being reminded that creation is bigger than the human species and summation of our experiences, the nature that exists at the tips of the globe is testament that life is truly larger than our existence.
Secondly, my feet are happy again. *yay!!!*
There was this wart/ corn that has been bothering my right feet for many months. It became really painful 2 weeks ago- though the doctor refused to pay heed to me then and thought I was making a mountain out of a molehill. Argh.
This weekend, I went to another doctor- obviously because it became so painful that I could not even walk properly any more. He shaved off thick dead skin that had grown, to reveal some pus that had solidified inside my foot. Viral infection he said.
But he could not do much more at that time, as I was whining and groaning in pain (I do think women have a pretty high threshold of pain, even then…). So he gave me some anti-biotics cream and oral anti-biotics (one week course) to take. Gosh- was that necessary? Now I think he’s making a mountain out of a mole hill.
So now the good news is- I managed to squeeze the solidified pus out on Sunday night!! It looked like a tiny pearl.. Yippee!! So no more pain when I walk, and I have happy feet :) :) :)
Friday, November 14, 2008
Is God saying something?
Ministry has been discouraging to say the very least, lately. There is just this fear, reluctance and dry-ness within.
Perhaps a large part of it is tied up to the search of meaning in my small existence*, but my heart just turns into cold fish each time I think about church in PPC recently. Not the hard-heartedness kind of cold, but the kind when I do not know what to do, how to pray and why I would believe things could change.
And it is funny because as Arthur and I were talking about it recently, we realized that being in a “struggling” church is perhaps our calling in life. Many would desire to be a growing vibrant community, and they do eventually move into the greener pastures where they seem to soar spiritually.
But it seems like that desire will remain the driver for ministry in the hard grounds all our lives- to be that sheep dog and drive sheep into the Shepherd’s pen, to make sure they stay with the herd. Arthur’s heart soars at that prospect, mine just thuds softly to the ground with a quiet conviction to know that this is true.
PPC Second Service will move to the Legends in 2 weeks time. And we are still lost. And today, God sent me an article… “Being led into the desert”
Funny- the pastors are singing the tune of “Promised Land”, but what if He has the desert in store for us for the next few years? Who will stay? Who will leave? What if things just do not get better but go downhill? How will we be travelling in those years?
God led the people of Israel into the desert to learn something about themselves. They learned about their level of obedience when life became difficult.
"Remember how the LORD your God led you all the way in the desert these forty years, to humble you and to test you in order to know what was in your heart, whether or not you would keep his commands" (Deut 8:2).
When God leads you into the desert, He is allowing you to learn something about yourself. We all need to learn how we will respond to temptations in our lives. As we press into God during these times the roots of our faith are forced deeper and deeper into the soil of His grace. Do not fear being led into the desert. This too is the way of God.
The fact that it’s gonna be a desert does not faz me, honestly… The lessons I might come to learn about myself might be good- but that’s not what I yearn most. I pray that I will still be able to keep the love for His Kingdom, the joy to see it grow, and the faith to simply depend on Him each step of the way. And at the end of it, to know Him and be found faithful to the end.
* - This is a separate search altogether. But I am wondering, just wondering- will I let the silent still voice within me win the day, or the safety nets this world seeks to tempt me with delay me some more.
How many more years will I have to wait to try to be that fool who will make a difference in this world? Perhaps He might lead the way with circumstance- if I do not know how to let go, take it away from me please Daddy.. lead the way! *yay
Perhaps a large part of it is tied up to the search of meaning in my small existence*, but my heart just turns into cold fish each time I think about church in PPC recently. Not the hard-heartedness kind of cold, but the kind when I do not know what to do, how to pray and why I would believe things could change.
And it is funny because as Arthur and I were talking about it recently, we realized that being in a “struggling” church is perhaps our calling in life. Many would desire to be a growing vibrant community, and they do eventually move into the greener pastures where they seem to soar spiritually.
But it seems like that desire will remain the driver for ministry in the hard grounds all our lives- to be that sheep dog and drive sheep into the Shepherd’s pen, to make sure they stay with the herd. Arthur’s heart soars at that prospect, mine just thuds softly to the ground with a quiet conviction to know that this is true.
PPC Second Service will move to the Legends in 2 weeks time. And we are still lost. And today, God sent me an article… “Being led into the desert”
Funny- the pastors are singing the tune of “Promised Land”, but what if He has the desert in store for us for the next few years? Who will stay? Who will leave? What if things just do not get better but go downhill? How will we be travelling in those years?
God led the people of Israel into the desert to learn something about themselves. They learned about their level of obedience when life became difficult.
"Remember how the LORD your God led you all the way in the desert these forty years, to humble you and to test you in order to know what was in your heart, whether or not you would keep his commands" (Deut 8:2).
When God leads you into the desert, He is allowing you to learn something about yourself. We all need to learn how we will respond to temptations in our lives. As we press into God during these times the roots of our faith are forced deeper and deeper into the soil of His grace. Do not fear being led into the desert. This too is the way of God.
The fact that it’s gonna be a desert does not faz me, honestly… The lessons I might come to learn about myself might be good- but that’s not what I yearn most. I pray that I will still be able to keep the love for His Kingdom, the joy to see it grow, and the faith to simply depend on Him each step of the way. And at the end of it, to know Him and be found faithful to the end.
* - This is a separate search altogether. But I am wondering, just wondering- will I let the silent still voice within me win the day, or the safety nets this world seeks to tempt me with delay me some more.
How many more years will I have to wait to try to be that fool who will make a difference in this world? Perhaps He might lead the way with circumstance- if I do not know how to let go, take it away from me please Daddy.. lead the way! *yay
Monday, November 10, 2008
Praise You in this storm
Yet another season of broken hearts and lives
And the problem of pain arrests our routined steps
Life is perhaps not in our hands
But in the God who gives and takes away
Thursday, November 06, 2008
Mighty to save
My little prayer for you today....
May God bless you with discomfort at easy answers, half truths, and superficial relationships, so that you may live deep within your heart.
May God bless you with anger at injustice, oppression, and exploitation of people, so that you may work for justice, freedom and peace.
May God bless you with tears to shed for those who suffer from pain, rejection, starvation, and war, so that you may reach out your hand to comfort them and to turn their pain in to joy.
And may God bless you with enough foolishness to believe that you can make a difference in this world, so that you can do what others claim cannot be done.
May what matter to us be what matters most to Him each day...
"Bring it on, God. Bring it on!"
May God bless you with discomfort at easy answers, half truths, and superficial relationships, so that you may live deep within your heart.
May God bless you with anger at injustice, oppression, and exploitation of people, so that you may work for justice, freedom and peace.
May God bless you with tears to shed for those who suffer from pain, rejection, starvation, and war, so that you may reach out your hand to comfort them and to turn their pain in to joy.
And may God bless you with enough foolishness to believe that you can make a difference in this world, so that you can do what others claim cannot be done.
May what matter to us be what matters most to Him each day...
"Bring it on, God. Bring it on!"
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Love ME for who I am
When I was single, I’ve always longed for the man who would love me for who I am. No need for beautiful appearances, no need for make up or nice clothes- but just to be loved for who I am. That I will not need to pretend to be who I am not, or change to be someone whom I will never be- he will love and accept all of me- the way I am.
This love I found for many years- only in God, and to some extent my family. It is elusive and unthinkable that another would love me so unconditionally, of his own free will and choose to love me for who I am. I believe that this desire to be loved for who I am lies deep in every soul. Even God. Is it that unthinkable to think that God desires to be loved & worshipped for who He is?
The difference between God and me, is that He is not whiny, attention seeking, “look at me”. He is not flawed, ugly inside out nor selfish. He does not need others to affirm His worth. He is who He is.
The Creator King whose wisdom is beyond measure, the Humble Servant whose heart is beautiful beyond description, the all encompassing Great I AM whose glory knows no bounds nor end, the Faithful Lover who holds on to the very end. He is the only One who deserves to be worshipped for who He is. And He desires to be loved for who He is.
Satan mocked God that there is no one on earth who loved and worshipped Him for who He is- not beyond the good gifts that He gave. What was at stake is not just a little bet- but the entire weight of the glory of God. Satan was saying to God “No one could love You for who You are, God. Do you think anyone truly worships you for You are? They only want Your gifts!” That is why He allowed Satan to test Job- to take away his family, his riches, his health. If Job would still stand and worship Him even in the depths of his sufferings.
Job cried and wailed and lamented in deep anguish. He did not understand, he was pained to think that the God whom he knew to be in control of everything, would do these things to him. But not once in midst of his affliction, Job spoke against God. He lamented and suffered the sacred sorrow till God spoke to him out of the storm. But God gave him no answers. Neither did God told him why these things happened. He just showed Job who He is- and Job repented.
"I know that you can do all things; no plan of yours can be thwarted. You asked, 'Who is this that obscures my counsel without knowledge?' Surely I spoke of things I did not understand, things too wonderful for me to know. "You said, 'Listen now, and I will speak; I will question you, and you shall answer me.' My ears had heard of you but now my eyes have seen you. Therefore I despise myself and repent in dust and ashes."
Father, You are God. I want to love You for who You are, help me please. Beyond the good things You can give, more than Your goodness. I can count the many ways how deserving You are to be loved and worshipped for who You are. But beyond Your beauty, let me love You, simply because You are You.
Lord, You are God and i am not. When things go wrong, keep me close and let me not sin against You. When I do not have the answers, help me trust in You. When the whole world crashes and “You cannot be found”, let me remain in You. When I forget people in my old age, let me not forget my precious Lord and Savior.
Help Your bride to love You, God. To fall in love with You daily, to pursue You passionately. You are God and I want to love You for who You are.
This love I found for many years- only in God, and to some extent my family. It is elusive and unthinkable that another would love me so unconditionally, of his own free will and choose to love me for who I am. I believe that this desire to be loved for who I am lies deep in every soul. Even God. Is it that unthinkable to think that God desires to be loved & worshipped for who He is?
The difference between God and me, is that He is not whiny, attention seeking, “look at me”. He is not flawed, ugly inside out nor selfish. He does not need others to affirm His worth. He is who He is.
The Creator King whose wisdom is beyond measure, the Humble Servant whose heart is beautiful beyond description, the all encompassing Great I AM whose glory knows no bounds nor end, the Faithful Lover who holds on to the very end. He is the only One who deserves to be worshipped for who He is. And He desires to be loved for who He is.
Satan mocked God that there is no one on earth who loved and worshipped Him for who He is- not beyond the good gifts that He gave. What was at stake is not just a little bet- but the entire weight of the glory of God. Satan was saying to God “No one could love You for who You are, God. Do you think anyone truly worships you for You are? They only want Your gifts!” That is why He allowed Satan to test Job- to take away his family, his riches, his health. If Job would still stand and worship Him even in the depths of his sufferings.
Job cried and wailed and lamented in deep anguish. He did not understand, he was pained to think that the God whom he knew to be in control of everything, would do these things to him. But not once in midst of his affliction, Job spoke against God. He lamented and suffered the sacred sorrow till God spoke to him out of the storm. But God gave him no answers. Neither did God told him why these things happened. He just showed Job who He is- and Job repented.
"I know that you can do all things; no plan of yours can be thwarted. You asked, 'Who is this that obscures my counsel without knowledge?' Surely I spoke of things I did not understand, things too wonderful for me to know. "You said, 'Listen now, and I will speak; I will question you, and you shall answer me.' My ears had heard of you but now my eyes have seen you. Therefore I despise myself and repent in dust and ashes."
Father, You are God. I want to love You for who You are, help me please. Beyond the good things You can give, more than Your goodness. I can count the many ways how deserving You are to be loved and worshipped for who You are. But beyond Your beauty, let me love You, simply because You are You.
Lord, You are God and i am not. When things go wrong, keep me close and let me not sin against You. When I do not have the answers, help me trust in You. When the whole world crashes and “You cannot be found”, let me remain in You. When I forget people in my old age, let me not forget my precious Lord and Savior.
Help Your bride to love You, God. To fall in love with You daily, to pursue You passionately. You are God and I want to love You for who You are.
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Monday, October 13, 2008
Emma
I fell in love with this old movie recently (thanks to Arthur and Mom) - and found one of my favorite movie character. Emma. This show definitely goes up there with my You’ve got mail and While you were sleeping.
On many fronts, this dear little miss busy-body and match-maker wannabe is so like me. Watching the screenplay of her endeavor to find her good friend Harriet a worthy match, is like holding up a mirror before my own silly dreams of hooking up beloved friends. An alarm bell to not be a silly cupid, especially since I have my prejudices & short-sightedness that can well lead to bad judgment.
I like Emma Woodhouse better than Elizabeth Bennet (from Pride and Prejudice) – she’s a lot chirpier, flightier, and more fun. Hooray for blondes! BUT My Mr Darcy is still un-trumpable. Wahaha..
Mr Knightly’s pretty charming too, but unfortunately, I feel that his character is not too well developed, one of the ills of Jane Austen’s heroine-centric novels. Nevertheless, the chivalrous males from Jane’s novels work their charms on your through the show so subtly.. such that by the end of the movie, you’d wanna go back to the beginning to get to know them all over again.
So here’s sharing some of my fave quotes from the movie.
The most beautiful thing in the world is a match well made.
~ The Christian in me can rise to refute this statement and reduce it to ashes.. But let’s go easy and not dash the dreams of sweet Emma’s matchmaking efforts.
Your entire personality is a riddle, I thought you overqualified.
~ I love this line… Smart and witty.
It left us speechless, quite speechless, and we have not stopped talking of it since! ~ Another one that cracked Arthur up big time.
Maybe it is our imperfections which make us so perfect for one another.
~ Pretty cliché sounding, but I guess many couples can identify with this one. Still pretty tacky I must say.
Badly done Emma! Badly done.
~ Mr Knightly reprimanded Emma for her unkind remark to a socially awkward friend, and broke my heart.
Emma: I have given them charity, but not kindness, a virtue which some friends may doubt I still have.
Mr Knightly: The truest friend does not doubt, but hope.
~ One of my favorite exchanges between them, very thoughtful and good soup for the soul. Addressing character flaws of the protagonist, gains Emma one up above other just-about-romance romantic comedies.
Dear Lord, if he cannot share a life with me is it wrong to ask that he not share it with anyone? That we go on as we go on now, him stopping by at any hour, always the brightest part of our lives, a natural and easy member of the family. i would be content if he would just stay single Lord, that's it, if he would just stay single that would be enough for me to be perfectly satisfieed...Almost...Amen.
~ Emma’s diary when this little girl finally realized that she has fallen for her friend… Cutely vicious.. hahaha. Beware men for not returning a girl’s affections :p
I watched the movie 3 times in a single day. But if you wanna watch it ever, ask me to watch it with you, please!!!!!
***
On a side note, will be away for the weekend to Bangkok with Arthur. So this space will be a little quiet for a while!
Friday, October 03, 2008
Bride means cook
As I learnt during my bridal shower, “bride” in old English means cook. So how has this newly married fulfilled her “cooking responsibilities” so far?
Taking stock of the days and months, it’s surprising that it’s been only close to 3 months. But my sister would probably say that I’ve cooked more in these 3 months than the last 3 years. Hahhaha…
So just a quick run-down of my cooking excursions so far (sorry no pictures!)-
Prawn Paste chicken wings – baked! Wings lovers may turn their nose on this, but I’m telling you chicken wings can be baked to crisp perfection when you have a master baker (me! :p )- and with sufficient time to allow the wings to soak in the marinade, you don feel that you’ll be missing out much on the unhealthy batter. I’m slowly getting there, it’s a skill to know when to turn up the heat, when to flip each wing over, how golden brown should the perfect wing be. *smackin licious!*
Buffalo wings – Likewise, baked to golden perfection- it’s the healthier cousin of what they serve in Hooters. I’ve made it twice, and am still perfecting the sauce. It’s getting better I think, but I’ve gotta go out there to eat more of these before I can decide how I best like my Buffalo wings to taste.
Chocolate cupcakes with fudge center – It turned out pretty well actually, and honestly I think cupcakes are a lot easier to make and serve than a huge cake in a big cake tin. It was a pleasant surprise to see the cupcakes shrink from the sides of the metal tin tray so nicely- don have to worry about getting the cake out of the cake tin and not breaking it.
And these lovely little things are easy to make a hole in to pour the fudge in. It was a simple experiment, that I think I’m gonna be more adventurous with. Raspberry sauce, hot fudge, white chocolate sauce seeping out of a warm moist chocolate cupcake- anyone?
Burritos – It’s one of Arthur’s favorite foods, and Taco Bell in Singapore is expensive and sucks in his opinion. So I have to try my hands at making this Mexican dish for my darling. Its pretty easy honestly- hamburger (or what we would call mince) browned with taco seasoning, wrapped in a warm tortilla skin with refried beans, shredded cheddar, lettuce, tomato, and top it up with some salsa- there you have it! Serve it with some tortilla chips, and it’s an authentic Mexican home-cooked meal.
Shabu Shabu @ home – I love Shabu Shabu. Between 7 to 12, we used to have it almost every Sunday at our favorite Japanese restaurant in Tanglin Shopping Centre, at a very affordable price. Ever since it closed down and broke our hearts, the alternatives were grotesquely expensive. So having been starved of Shabu Shabu for so long, have decided to make this Japanese hot pot at home.
The soup is easy- boil it with the thick Japanese seaweed, and you’ll have a nice clear broth. It’s about the ingredients and sauces really- don save on these! Get good cuts of shabu shabu beef, lots of nice golden mushrooms, big white cabbage, the special sauce for dipping the veggies in and the sesame based sauce for the meats. What I need to remember to hunt for next round are the thick Japanese noodles. Any suggestions where?
Tommorrow, will be trying my hands at Thai Pineapple rice and Kai Yang chicken tomorrow. Have made the former many times, so it’s the Kai Yang chicken that’s making me a little excited. Hope it turns out well!!
Taking stock of the days and months, it’s surprising that it’s been only close to 3 months. But my sister would probably say that I’ve cooked more in these 3 months than the last 3 years. Hahhaha…
So just a quick run-down of my cooking excursions so far (sorry no pictures!)-
Prawn Paste chicken wings – baked! Wings lovers may turn their nose on this, but I’m telling you chicken wings can be baked to crisp perfection when you have a master baker (me! :p )- and with sufficient time to allow the wings to soak in the marinade, you don feel that you’ll be missing out much on the unhealthy batter. I’m slowly getting there, it’s a skill to know when to turn up the heat, when to flip each wing over, how golden brown should the perfect wing be. *smackin licious!*
Buffalo wings – Likewise, baked to golden perfection- it’s the healthier cousin of what they serve in Hooters. I’ve made it twice, and am still perfecting the sauce. It’s getting better I think, but I’ve gotta go out there to eat more of these before I can decide how I best like my Buffalo wings to taste.
Chocolate cupcakes with fudge center – It turned out pretty well actually, and honestly I think cupcakes are a lot easier to make and serve than a huge cake in a big cake tin. It was a pleasant surprise to see the cupcakes shrink from the sides of the metal tin tray so nicely- don have to worry about getting the cake out of the cake tin and not breaking it.
And these lovely little things are easy to make a hole in to pour the fudge in. It was a simple experiment, that I think I’m gonna be more adventurous with. Raspberry sauce, hot fudge, white chocolate sauce seeping out of a warm moist chocolate cupcake- anyone?
Burritos – It’s one of Arthur’s favorite foods, and Taco Bell in Singapore is expensive and sucks in his opinion. So I have to try my hands at making this Mexican dish for my darling. Its pretty easy honestly- hamburger (or what we would call mince) browned with taco seasoning, wrapped in a warm tortilla skin with refried beans, shredded cheddar, lettuce, tomato, and top it up with some salsa- there you have it! Serve it with some tortilla chips, and it’s an authentic Mexican home-cooked meal.
Shabu Shabu @ home – I love Shabu Shabu. Between 7 to 12, we used to have it almost every Sunday at our favorite Japanese restaurant in Tanglin Shopping Centre, at a very affordable price. Ever since it closed down and broke our hearts, the alternatives were grotesquely expensive. So having been starved of Shabu Shabu for so long, have decided to make this Japanese hot pot at home.
The soup is easy- boil it with the thick Japanese seaweed, and you’ll have a nice clear broth. It’s about the ingredients and sauces really- don save on these! Get good cuts of shabu shabu beef, lots of nice golden mushrooms, big white cabbage, the special sauce for dipping the veggies in and the sesame based sauce for the meats. What I need to remember to hunt for next round are the thick Japanese noodles. Any suggestions where?
Tommorrow, will be trying my hands at Thai Pineapple rice and Kai Yang chicken tomorrow. Have made the former many times, so it’s the Kai Yang chicken that’s making me a little excited. Hope it turns out well!!
Monday, September 22, 2008
Bless the broken road
This song is one of Mom's favorite, and when Arthur shared it with me during the early days of our courtship- this song by Rascal Flatts very quickly grew on me too.. Here's sharing a version sang by Rascal and Carrie Underwood with you.. enjoy the beautiful lyrics :)
**
I set out on a narrow way many years ago
Hoping I would find true love along the broken road
But I got lost a time or two
Wiped my brow and kept pushing through
I couldn't see how every sign pointed straight to you
*
Every long lost dream led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you
*
I think about the years I spent just passing through
I'd like to have the time I lost and give it back to you
But you just smile and take my hand
You've been there you understand
It's all part of a grander plan that is coming true
*
Now I'm just rolling home
Into my lover's arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you.
**
Sunday, September 14, 2008
The institution
There had been a debate at home some time back- about a Christian’s response towards the institution. The institution can be the organization that we work in, its cold-hearted policies, the sum of its politicking colleagues and bottom-line only management. The institution can also be the authorities whose state we live in, it’s autocratic democracy, and laissez faire based governance.
Let the institution be the company we work in.
How shall the Christian view the “company”?
An arbitrary entity void of emotions- will one be a fool to invest emotionally and believe in its name? The wages it pays are but a fair return for the work done- will one be silly to accord loyalty to it?
And how shall the Christian “treat” the company?
The company has hired me because I am their best option at that point as well- should feelings of gratitude be deemed unnecessary? Another company has head-hunted me and offered to pay off my scholarship, one cannot be faulted having returned the company its investment in monies it has demanded in contract- all “righteousness” has been fulfilled, what is wrong with jumping ship? And where progress has been stunted due to a slip, shall I not bail out on the unforgiving institution in pursuit of greener pastures to better fulfill my potential & other life commitments?
One thing I’d say right from the start, is that the Christian need not have illusions about the goodness of the company. The company is made up of people to fulfill certain objectives. Objectives that may be aligned to some of one’s objectives in life, but there is no perfect alignment at all times. And people managing the company are sinful, wicked people- people not very different from herself if she were to be honest.
But should the nature of the company be the determining factor of how the Christian treat the institution? Should that be so, the Christian will need to re-look at her doctrine, and re-examine her life that has been left unexamined for too long. Faith has slowly been divorced from deeds, and God from His throne.
When Paul instructs slaves to obey their masters- I don think he had the loving master in mind. Nor when he instructs everyone to be subject to governing authorities, had he forgotten that those were the authorities that had crucified his Christ. But what he knows for certain is that “there is no authority except that which God has established… Therefore, it is necessary to submit to the authorities, not only because of possible punishment but also as a matter of conscience”. (Romans 13:1-5)
When the Christian forgets that it is God who stands behind the institution, that He is the one ultimately in control, she will be tempted to act like the pagans do- rejecting submission, according no kindness, planning and plotting the next step to keep herself ahead and acting only with her self interest as her guide.
When the Christian forgets her duty to God is in all of her life, she will act like the world- that her stomach is more important than integrity, money is valued more than honor, and her name is more important than God’s.
When the Christian forgets that it is to God who gives and takes away, and man & circumstances are but His tools (just as the nations were His judgment to Israel), she nurses hatred & grudges for a time too long and hurts herself. She begins to think that she can do all things through her strength, and manipulate to get away. She can no longer give thanks for she has earned and deserve everything with her hands.
The institution is the world. The world will never be good to the Christian, the world will never be just. The world is God’s tool to mould the Christian, the fire that refines and burns the chaff away. It matters not how the institution treats the Christian-the outcome is certain. It will not always be fair, but God will reprieve in the end. But it matters how the Christian treats the world for she bears His name. She must carry her cross each day, and live for His honor and glory alone. Amen.
Let the institution be the company we work in.
How shall the Christian view the “company”?
An arbitrary entity void of emotions- will one be a fool to invest emotionally and believe in its name? The wages it pays are but a fair return for the work done- will one be silly to accord loyalty to it?
And how shall the Christian “treat” the company?
The company has hired me because I am their best option at that point as well- should feelings of gratitude be deemed unnecessary? Another company has head-hunted me and offered to pay off my scholarship, one cannot be faulted having returned the company its investment in monies it has demanded in contract- all “righteousness” has been fulfilled, what is wrong with jumping ship? And where progress has been stunted due to a slip, shall I not bail out on the unforgiving institution in pursuit of greener pastures to better fulfill my potential & other life commitments?
One thing I’d say right from the start, is that the Christian need not have illusions about the goodness of the company. The company is made up of people to fulfill certain objectives. Objectives that may be aligned to some of one’s objectives in life, but there is no perfect alignment at all times. And people managing the company are sinful, wicked people- people not very different from herself if she were to be honest.
But should the nature of the company be the determining factor of how the Christian treat the institution? Should that be so, the Christian will need to re-look at her doctrine, and re-examine her life that has been left unexamined for too long. Faith has slowly been divorced from deeds, and God from His throne.
When Paul instructs slaves to obey their masters- I don think he had the loving master in mind. Nor when he instructs everyone to be subject to governing authorities, had he forgotten that those were the authorities that had crucified his Christ. But what he knows for certain is that “there is no authority except that which God has established… Therefore, it is necessary to submit to the authorities, not only because of possible punishment but also as a matter of conscience”. (Romans 13:1-5)
When the Christian forgets that it is God who stands behind the institution, that He is the one ultimately in control, she will be tempted to act like the pagans do- rejecting submission, according no kindness, planning and plotting the next step to keep herself ahead and acting only with her self interest as her guide.
When the Christian forgets her duty to God is in all of her life, she will act like the world- that her stomach is more important than integrity, money is valued more than honor, and her name is more important than God’s.
When the Christian forgets that it is to God who gives and takes away, and man & circumstances are but His tools (just as the nations were His judgment to Israel), she nurses hatred & grudges for a time too long and hurts herself. She begins to think that she can do all things through her strength, and manipulate to get away. She can no longer give thanks for she has earned and deserve everything with her hands.
The institution is the world. The world will never be good to the Christian, the world will never be just. The world is God’s tool to mould the Christian, the fire that refines and burns the chaff away. It matters not how the institution treats the Christian-the outcome is certain. It will not always be fair, but God will reprieve in the end. But it matters how the Christian treats the world for she bears His name. She must carry her cross each day, and live for His honor and glory alone. Amen.
Thursday, September 11, 2008
O our taste buds!
Saw little Abigail chewing her piece of bread during class that day- it looked so tasty, so sweet and like she’s enjoying every single bite of it. But it was only plain white bread she was chewing. It made me start wondering how and when did our taste buds change as we grow up?
The training of mental faculties happened in school, we progressed from elementary arithmetic to advance algebra as the teachers worked with us through classes and homework. The moulding of our character was fundamentally a factor of our parent’s love and discipline, peer influence, and the environment we were in. Our fashion sense changed with the times and were dictated by the fashion moguls like Louis Vuitton, Gucci and Versace.
But our taste buds… Who told us what is to like and what not to? Mummy can tell us not to eat the unhealthy chips but she cannot tell us not to like its taste. Grandma can tell little boys to eat their veggies, but she cannot stop them from thinking it taste like poison.
How did our taste buds morph (or degenerate?!) from finding white bread tasteless, and find only ‘atas’ bread from Provence palatable? How did it stop finding satisfaction in Cadbury, and considers only Godiva or its likes worthy chocolate? How did our taste buds become fickle to our “favorite” kind of chips- switching from Sour Cream Pringles to Original Lays to Cheddar Ruffles to Honey Dijon Kettle Chips within a year; and yet at the same stayed faithful to the old-fashioned vanilla ice-cream we had since we’re five? O our taste buds! You're an enigma :p
I have no answer for these musings- nor would I attempt to objectify something so subjective- especially since everyone’s taste is different, and each man is rightfully entitled to his own. As Xun always says “One man’s meat is another man’s poison”. The mystery also gives me room to insist that “my taste has changed” when I don feel like eating something some day. :p
But one moment of truth I’d throw to those with expensive taste buds though- is to remember what we used to like & find satisfying in the old days, and not become too far from returning to them some day. Do not become a victim of your own taste buds. Do not fall prey to restaurant operators who deepen the rich-poor divide subconsciously based on the food we eat- they are but after our pockets. Do not feel “high class” simply because you ate at a “high class” restaurant.
And remember- while we are choosing today the type of grains we would like in our Q Q Rice Balls, there are those who do not even have that spoonful of rice they require to live that day.
The training of mental faculties happened in school, we progressed from elementary arithmetic to advance algebra as the teachers worked with us through classes and homework. The moulding of our character was fundamentally a factor of our parent’s love and discipline, peer influence, and the environment we were in. Our fashion sense changed with the times and were dictated by the fashion moguls like Louis Vuitton, Gucci and Versace.
But our taste buds… Who told us what is to like and what not to? Mummy can tell us not to eat the unhealthy chips but she cannot tell us not to like its taste. Grandma can tell little boys to eat their veggies, but she cannot stop them from thinking it taste like poison.
How did our taste buds morph (or degenerate?!) from finding white bread tasteless, and find only ‘atas’ bread from Provence palatable? How did it stop finding satisfaction in Cadbury, and considers only Godiva or its likes worthy chocolate? How did our taste buds become fickle to our “favorite” kind of chips- switching from Sour Cream Pringles to Original Lays to Cheddar Ruffles to Honey Dijon Kettle Chips within a year; and yet at the same stayed faithful to the old-fashioned vanilla ice-cream we had since we’re five? O our taste buds! You're an enigma :p
I have no answer for these musings- nor would I attempt to objectify something so subjective- especially since everyone’s taste is different, and each man is rightfully entitled to his own. As Xun always says “One man’s meat is another man’s poison”. The mystery also gives me room to insist that “my taste has changed” when I don feel like eating something some day. :p
But one moment of truth I’d throw to those with expensive taste buds though- is to remember what we used to like & find satisfying in the old days, and not become too far from returning to them some day. Do not become a victim of your own taste buds. Do not fall prey to restaurant operators who deepen the rich-poor divide subconsciously based on the food we eat- they are but after our pockets. Do not feel “high class” simply because you ate at a “high class” restaurant.
And remember- while we are choosing today the type of grains we would like in our Q Q Rice Balls, there are those who do not even have that spoonful of rice they require to live that day.
Friday, August 22, 2008
Tiny thoughts on a Friday
"Sometimes I wonder about my life. I lead a small life - well, valuable but small. And sometimes I wonder, do I do it because I like it, or because I haven't been brave?"
This is one of my favourite quotes from one of my favorite movies by one of my favorite Hollywood sweethearts. It’s small and it’s sweet, but very haunting too. Wondering if my decision to stay or my indecision to move, would have led me to something very different in life. But thankfully, the certainty that He holds my life firmly in His hands is strong enough to hold back any foolish bravado.
**
Dedicated to a precious aching heart-
I don have an answer for you and I don know what to say.
It’s a beauty they say to dare to love and give a part of your heart away.
But before the courage is taken again in time,
I pray and plead- that you’ll dare to decide that He will be your prime.
So that when He takes your heart and give it to another,
You’ll know the peace that is for real.
The certainty that it’s His will for you,
And you have His blessings for sure.
He wants the best for you, not one who will hurt you,
Trust Him and His choice and time- He never fails.
And He alone is God who holds your future-
Beauty He says, is surrendering to His plan.
P/s: It hurts me to see you cry, am helpless,
But my tiny shoulders are here.
This is one of my favourite quotes from one of my favorite movies by one of my favorite Hollywood sweethearts. It’s small and it’s sweet, but very haunting too. Wondering if my decision to stay or my indecision to move, would have led me to something very different in life. But thankfully, the certainty that He holds my life firmly in His hands is strong enough to hold back any foolish bravado.
**
Dedicated to a precious aching heart-
I don have an answer for you and I don know what to say.
It’s a beauty they say to dare to love and give a part of your heart away.
But before the courage is taken again in time,
I pray and plead- that you’ll dare to decide that He will be your prime.
So that when He takes your heart and give it to another,
You’ll know the peace that is for real.
The certainty that it’s His will for you,
And you have His blessings for sure.
He wants the best for you, not one who will hurt you,
Trust Him and His choice and time- He never fails.
And He alone is God who holds your future-
Beauty He says, is surrendering to His plan.
P/s: It hurts me to see you cry, am helpless,
But my tiny shoulders are here.
Sunday, August 10, 2008
Saturday, August 09, 2008
“How is married life?”
For the lack of a celebrity status, there will be no friends from the press who would cover a public statement for me. So here I am to address a fond question of many when they meet me. Some are from kind-hearted passer-bys who asked the “by-the-way” question on their way. :p Some are from my beloved friends- whom I cannot give an adequately honest answer during my time with you, as my mental faculties cannot work fast enough during conversation. So, if you really want to know… here’s a peek at some of my thoughts..
Married life is a bed of roses. The passionate big blooms that tell you life is beautiful, and makes you smile each day the sun shines through the window. The accompanying greens that gives a calm soothing quality to the ordinariness of the everyday life. The thorns that sticks and pricks no matter when you’re carefully treating each other, or carelessly brushing the other person off. The roots that go “down-to-earth”, reminding you of the reality of the hard work that needs to go into making the tiny love plant grow- and also building a home together.
I cannot complain about our team effort in the kitchen when he cleans up after I cook. And it’s really fun to cook for two and eating the meal together- be it in front of the TV watching the Lord of the Rings, or just at the dining table catching up on each other’s day.
And he does most of the cleaning the house- although he’s still waiting for me to fly into a rage and scream “Don’t touch my things!” :p The record of this messy one’s stands at an occasional frown- “there’s order in my chaos ok..”
Although we were told that we’re strong communicators, there are times when the communication line is broken as well- there are still times when the intent is misunderstood, or when the tone is not pleasing to our ears, or when an apology is not given as expected.
Married life is having a mirror held up to you 24-7. He’s your biggest fan and cheerleader, and harshest critic and voice of conscience at the same time. It’s a delicate business pointing out the other person’s erroneous behavior and bad attitude- and no acquaintance would care enough to do that, nor would a friend would risk the relationship to do that, and we discount our family most of the time. But I guess that’s why our Good Father has given us the perfect environment of a marriage to spur us towards holiness. When correction is done in and with love, the humble pie is easier to eat and you want more to change. Pray that it will always stay this way.
Married life is His grace in my everyday. Recently, I have felt like an unworthy daughter of the Most High, a hypocritical testimony at best. I cringe when I need to pray aloud, and choose to be an ungrateful brat when I could give thanks. I don’t know how to open the door to Him, and I feel stuck in this spiritual mess. But yet when I cried for an answer, He points me to the breath He has given us both today- and that we have each other to hold. And this is grace untold.
Married life is “business as usual”. The wedding’s an event- it is fun. And there are life-long lessons still to learn about being married and “working things out together”. But yet in the stillness of your heart, when the activity ceases in your mind as you wait for the red light to turn green, what lies deepest within still- is an answer you have to give to Your King. How will you live your life for Him.
Married life is a bed of roses. The passionate big blooms that tell you life is beautiful, and makes you smile each day the sun shines through the window. The accompanying greens that gives a calm soothing quality to the ordinariness of the everyday life. The thorns that sticks and pricks no matter when you’re carefully treating each other, or carelessly brushing the other person off. The roots that go “down-to-earth”, reminding you of the reality of the hard work that needs to go into making the tiny love plant grow- and also building a home together.
I cannot complain about our team effort in the kitchen when he cleans up after I cook. And it’s really fun to cook for two and eating the meal together- be it in front of the TV watching the Lord of the Rings, or just at the dining table catching up on each other’s day.
And he does most of the cleaning the house- although he’s still waiting for me to fly into a rage and scream “Don’t touch my things!” :p The record of this messy one’s stands at an occasional frown- “there’s order in my chaos ok..”
Although we were told that we’re strong communicators, there are times when the communication line is broken as well- there are still times when the intent is misunderstood, or when the tone is not pleasing to our ears, or when an apology is not given as expected.
Married life is having a mirror held up to you 24-7. He’s your biggest fan and cheerleader, and harshest critic and voice of conscience at the same time. It’s a delicate business pointing out the other person’s erroneous behavior and bad attitude- and no acquaintance would care enough to do that, nor would a friend would risk the relationship to do that, and we discount our family most of the time. But I guess that’s why our Good Father has given us the perfect environment of a marriage to spur us towards holiness. When correction is done in and with love, the humble pie is easier to eat and you want more to change. Pray that it will always stay this way.
Married life is His grace in my everyday. Recently, I have felt like an unworthy daughter of the Most High, a hypocritical testimony at best. I cringe when I need to pray aloud, and choose to be an ungrateful brat when I could give thanks. I don’t know how to open the door to Him, and I feel stuck in this spiritual mess. But yet when I cried for an answer, He points me to the breath He has given us both today- and that we have each other to hold. And this is grace untold.
Married life is “business as usual”. The wedding’s an event- it is fun. And there are life-long lessons still to learn about being married and “working things out together”. But yet in the stillness of your heart, when the activity ceases in your mind as you wait for the red light to turn green, what lies deepest within still- is an answer you have to give to Your King. How will you live your life for Him.
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Living Word 2008
Thanks to Yibin and Serene, was treated to a Revelations 12-14 feast by DA Carson this week. This was the 2008 Living Word conference held by our brothers and sisters in the Anglican Church. The clear NT scholar once again opened my eyes to the jewels in the Holy Scripture with his faithful exposition of the text. *clapclapclap* Will try to contain my praises for this man of God as I am sure he is not seeking for man’s applause- but may all honor & glory be to God whose Living Word is powerful, and the bestowing of gifted teachers to encourage His people. :)
There are lots of wonderful treats listening to Prof Carson. he leaves you with a good grasp of what the text is talking about and solid applications to digest, the history & context of not just the message but also world & church history, wonderful nuggets of interesting bites on things like how apocalyptic literature works, worldview of key Christian theology, clearer insights on not just the text in study and also other parts of the Bible… But the best part of it is that you do not feel like a knowledge-puff at the end of it. Hard to believe- but you don’t.
Instead, you feel like you have just been ushered into the throne room of God, caught another real glimpse of Him, contemplated on yourself & your world, and be once again brought to your knees in holy fear. Like what James has said- it’s like looking into the mirror. And you see a reflection of yourself, not just because of what it says about mankind, but because you see a clearer picture of your Creator-Maker-Saviour-Lord.
You thought you knew Him, but you didn’t- not of His justice, not of His wrath, not of His Majesty.
You thought you knew your place before Him, but actually you didn’t- not how disgusting and adulterous you have been as you go about setting up idols in your life, not how you’ve trivalized His holy wrath that would burn and consume you if not of His Son, not how you have made Him small by assuming you're familiar with Him, not how you have made yourself god by thinking you can approach the Almighty in any fashion you like in the name of grace.
You have been so mistaken, so mistaken.
That I may fear You, Lion of Judah
That I may remember You, the slain Lamb
That I may owe my all to You, Creator and King
That I may love You, the One who loved, loves and will save me.
That I may have Your heart, weeping for the hardened hearts
That I may have Your feet, to go and seek the lost
That I may be like You, and be the broken bread
That I will be to You, like a pleasing offering.
"If there's anyone who can appear before Aslan withouth their knees knocking, they're either braver than most or else silly... who said anything about safe? Of course he isn't safe. But he's good. He's the King, I tell you"
There is much much to share on the content- but I’d rather have you listen to him. Have placed an order for the CDs of the talks- let me know if you’re interested!
There are lots of wonderful treats listening to Prof Carson. he leaves you with a good grasp of what the text is talking about and solid applications to digest, the history & context of not just the message but also world & church history, wonderful nuggets of interesting bites on things like how apocalyptic literature works, worldview of key Christian theology, clearer insights on not just the text in study and also other parts of the Bible… But the best part of it is that you do not feel like a knowledge-puff at the end of it. Hard to believe- but you don’t.
Instead, you feel like you have just been ushered into the throne room of God, caught another real glimpse of Him, contemplated on yourself & your world, and be once again brought to your knees in holy fear. Like what James has said- it’s like looking into the mirror. And you see a reflection of yourself, not just because of what it says about mankind, but because you see a clearer picture of your Creator-Maker-Saviour-Lord.
You thought you knew Him, but you didn’t- not of His justice, not of His wrath, not of His Majesty.
You thought you knew your place before Him, but actually you didn’t- not how disgusting and adulterous you have been as you go about setting up idols in your life, not how you’ve trivalized His holy wrath that would burn and consume you if not of His Son, not how you have made Him small by assuming you're familiar with Him, not how you have made yourself god by thinking you can approach the Almighty in any fashion you like in the name of grace.
You have been so mistaken, so mistaken.
That I may fear You, Lion of Judah
That I may remember You, the slain Lamb
That I may owe my all to You, Creator and King
That I may love You, the One who loved, loves and will save me.
That I may have Your heart, weeping for the hardened hearts
That I may have Your feet, to go and seek the lost
That I may be like You, and be the broken bread
That I will be to You, like a pleasing offering.
"If there's anyone who can appear before Aslan withouth their knees knocking, they're either braver than most or else silly... who said anything about safe? Of course he isn't safe. But he's good. He's the King, I tell you"
There is much much to share on the content- but I’d rather have you listen to him. Have placed an order for the CDs of the talks- let me know if you’re interested!
Monday, July 28, 2008
story Illustrations...
Just some quick pics from the wedding to satisfy the curious first.. More will be added later! Still waiting for my photographer to get back to me *yawn*
Pics from Arthur & Xun's birthday party @ Khansamana. Indian anyone?
Pics from Arthur & Xun's birthday party @ Khansamana. Indian anyone?
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
His Story
***
Just a simple story, one of many in history
Of life given in love, a promise to eternity
Of life given in love, a promise to eternity
We live but in a moment, within the frame of time
An ordinary allegory, our lives to be a sign
*
There is a greater story beyond our history
Of life given in love- a pathway to eternity
He came but in a moment, within the frame of time
To redeem the fallen story, His life rewrote the lines
**
We come today to celebrate
We come today to celebrate
A chapter in the story of two hearts
That in His time have vowed
To write His love in life
And on this day
We pray that as you follow in His way
(In His image He will mould, as the story unfolds)
His Story will be told
In your everyday
***
*Thanks Grace, Henry & Bernice for this lovely song... could not have captured our prayer better* :)
Monday, July 21, 2008
My Big Fat Greek Wedding
Stealing the movie title “in honor” of my own inter-cultural marriage. Of course the label is apparent to everyone looking in from outside; and Arthur prob feels it more than I do at this point, since he is the one now living in a foreign culture. But there is this strange feeling as I admit to being a party in this “social-cultural phenomenon”, that is the subject of many studies.
Marriage is of course too big to be discussed, and we are still experiencing its thrills and pricks in the course of our relationship. So for now, would just like to use this space to leave some alternative reflections upon our “inter-cultural wedding”, as we slow down after the wedding preparations, family holiday, and all the huzz buzz.
Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue- the common “must-haves” on an American bride. Didn’t know about this till the bridal shower actually, so was my borrowing of lynn’s gown a “prophetic move”? hahaha… Was missing the blue thing though, does the car count? :p
Having a real real home made wedding cake was really sweet. (In Singapore, we typically have a “fake cake” with only one layer of real sponge for cutting as the camera clicks.) Thank you all for your labor of love- and to all those who loved it, thanks for making the efforts worthwhile.
The process of the baking of the wedding cake was jaw-dropping. Mom & Brittany spent an entire day baking 17 chocolate and vanilla sponges. Aunt Carol and cousin Jane spent another day putting the cake together- decorating it with white chocolate icing, carving the intricate design of the 5 layered cake. And its tradition to keep a portion of the cake for 1 year, and have it on our first year anniversary. Now let’s hope my mother doesn’t scream for taking up that space in her freezer for so long.
I thought throwing the bridal bouquet only happened in the movies. FUN!! Thanks to all my gal pals for being so game to be willing to reach for the bouquet :)
Really really wanted to see each other for the first time that day in church, at the ends of the aisle. Thankful to my parents for allowing my secret dream to happen. Being willing to allow me to do away with the “receiving the bride” in the morning, and having the tea ceremony in church. All whom I have troubled to have the make-up done in church, thanks!!
Given the screwball queen I am, the wedding would of course not have been “signaturely me” if the sounds didn’t screw up that day hahaha. Everyone and everything else was too perfect, so something has to give you see. But really sorry to have caused Bingxun & Enoch so much stress in the sound room, and so sorry to those who were there who had to bear with some bad screeches.
The above are just the froth of my reflections on that day of course. There is so so much to give thanks for. And the weight of the love that we received from family & friends- who gave, who were there, who wanted to be there, is just too weighty for words. So just allow us to plant your seeds of love in our hearts, and praying that our lives will bear fruit for you some day.
* pictures later, promise ;) *
Marriage is of course too big to be discussed, and we are still experiencing its thrills and pricks in the course of our relationship. So for now, would just like to use this space to leave some alternative reflections upon our “inter-cultural wedding”, as we slow down after the wedding preparations, family holiday, and all the huzz buzz.
Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue- the common “must-haves” on an American bride. Didn’t know about this till the bridal shower actually, so was my borrowing of lynn’s gown a “prophetic move”? hahaha… Was missing the blue thing though, does the car count? :p
Having a real real home made wedding cake was really sweet. (In Singapore, we typically have a “fake cake” with only one layer of real sponge for cutting as the camera clicks.) Thank you all for your labor of love- and to all those who loved it, thanks for making the efforts worthwhile.
The process of the baking of the wedding cake was jaw-dropping. Mom & Brittany spent an entire day baking 17 chocolate and vanilla sponges. Aunt Carol and cousin Jane spent another day putting the cake together- decorating it with white chocolate icing, carving the intricate design of the 5 layered cake. And its tradition to keep a portion of the cake for 1 year, and have it on our first year anniversary. Now let’s hope my mother doesn’t scream for taking up that space in her freezer for so long.
I thought throwing the bridal bouquet only happened in the movies. FUN!! Thanks to all my gal pals for being so game to be willing to reach for the bouquet :)
Really really wanted to see each other for the first time that day in church, at the ends of the aisle. Thankful to my parents for allowing my secret dream to happen. Being willing to allow me to do away with the “receiving the bride” in the morning, and having the tea ceremony in church. All whom I have troubled to have the make-up done in church, thanks!!
Given the screwball queen I am, the wedding would of course not have been “signaturely me” if the sounds didn’t screw up that day hahaha. Everyone and everything else was too perfect, so something has to give you see. But really sorry to have caused Bingxun & Enoch so much stress in the sound room, and so sorry to those who were there who had to bear with some bad screeches.
The above are just the froth of my reflections on that day of course. There is so so much to give thanks for. And the weight of the love that we received from family & friends- who gave, who were there, who wanted to be there, is just too weighty for words. So just allow us to plant your seeds of love in our hearts, and praying that our lives will bear fruit for you some day.
* pictures later, promise ;) *
Sunday, July 06, 2008
Scibbles before the day..
Indeed things have been pretty quiet around here for a while… But well how can I leave no trace of one of the memorable seasons in my life on this precious collection of my thoughts…
So it’s counting down 5 days to the wedding. 5 days- goodness, from months to weeks to days, it has come to this. Nervousness and anxiety? Nope, not at this point though I can so totally see the butterflies coming in to stay in my tummy on Friday.
Let’s make some quick notes on what has happened so far-
Totally completely bowled over by God’s provision for the family’s accommodation. It’s ideal, affordable, perfect and beyond perfect- in the entire climate of skyrocketing hotel and rental prices, lack of options for short term rentals, delays in committing to what seem to be good God-given options. He has given where we have now. Praise be to Him!!
A little tired from all the mid-night trips to the airport. 2 consecutive nights- not too many but pretty tiring nonetheless. Arthur’s family has almost all come by this weekend. Spending time with them, hanging out- it’s all pretty fun. But somehow, I wish I had the quiet time and space to have deeper conversations with each of them. In time in time- after all it’s been only 2 days… And I know my man’s been pretty stressed- hiding in his cave and trying to solve problems by himself. Pray for him.
The bridal shower Arthur’s mother, aunt & sisters threw for me was good fun. Learnt that “bride” in old English meant “cook” *bleah*, received about than 7 cookbooks *hope I use them enough* and 4 sexy nighties *errr…nervous* as bridal shower gifts. I guess it’s all well summed up by what Marilyn (Arthur’s mother) pointed out- there are only 2 rooms that a woman can make her man happy- the kitchen and the bedroom.
But I guess one single thought that really captured me today in midst of all the fanfare was this- that as I make my vows to a man to love him in sickness and in health, for richer and poorer, for better for worse till death do us part- may I the bride of Christ also live that single-minded commitment to Christ as the vows prescribe. That this role as a bride to a man, may teach me more on how to be a bride to my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
So it’s counting down 5 days to the wedding. 5 days- goodness, from months to weeks to days, it has come to this. Nervousness and anxiety? Nope, not at this point though I can so totally see the butterflies coming in to stay in my tummy on Friday.
Let’s make some quick notes on what has happened so far-
Totally completely bowled over by God’s provision for the family’s accommodation. It’s ideal, affordable, perfect and beyond perfect- in the entire climate of skyrocketing hotel and rental prices, lack of options for short term rentals, delays in committing to what seem to be good God-given options. He has given where we have now. Praise be to Him!!
A little tired from all the mid-night trips to the airport. 2 consecutive nights- not too many but pretty tiring nonetheless. Arthur’s family has almost all come by this weekend. Spending time with them, hanging out- it’s all pretty fun. But somehow, I wish I had the quiet time and space to have deeper conversations with each of them. In time in time- after all it’s been only 2 days… And I know my man’s been pretty stressed- hiding in his cave and trying to solve problems by himself. Pray for him.
The bridal shower Arthur’s mother, aunt & sisters threw for me was good fun. Learnt that “bride” in old English meant “cook” *bleah*, received about than 7 cookbooks *hope I use them enough* and 4 sexy nighties *errr…nervous* as bridal shower gifts. I guess it’s all well summed up by what Marilyn (Arthur’s mother) pointed out- there are only 2 rooms that a woman can make her man happy- the kitchen and the bedroom.
But I guess one single thought that really captured me today in midst of all the fanfare was this- that as I make my vows to a man to love him in sickness and in health, for richer and poorer, for better for worse till death do us part- may I the bride of Christ also live that single-minded commitment to Christ as the vows prescribe. That this role as a bride to a man, may teach me more on how to be a bride to my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
Sunday, June 01, 2008
One Pure Holy Passion
"Adoption is as far as possible from the mindset that rejects children as an intrusion.... God's cost to adopt us was infinitely greater than any cost we will endure in adopting and raising children." -- John Piper
And should not the cost that He has incurred compel me to offer the option of adoption to all mankind- irregardless of how ugly and awful i think they are? If He cares, and if i love Him, He needs to matter more than them. Shall i let His blood be shed in vain for them?
And should not the cost that He has incurred compel me to offer the option of adoption to all mankind- irregardless of how ugly and awful i think they are? If He cares, and if i love Him, He needs to matter more than them. Shall i let His blood be shed in vain for them?
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Sichuan Quake
"No one may claim the name Christian and be comfortable in the face of hunger, homelessness, insecurity, and injustice found in this country and in the world."
There is a strange detachment I felt being in midst of the Wenchuan Earthquake even though I was in China. It might be the over-dosage of propaganda, the fanning of notes in front of the donation boxes before the camera, the silliness of the media coverage on how entertainment stars are contributing to the relief. But my nagging suspicion is that the sum of all that is nowhere near the ignorance of disaster for the spoilt Singaporean, or the cold calculating cynical critic within.
This self-awareness when revealed before Him, is thankfully a sobering correction tool that our Father uses. Though still a far cry from our compassionate Lord Jesus, I pray these thoughts He has left circling will lead to transformation, wisdom and love. Just to share some of this "medicine" He has given me.
Pill #1 - I think it’s His grace that He has humbled the China with this quake. In midst of all the Olympic hype, the growing economic powerhouse, the dragon that is awaiting to prove itself to the world- this quake is its timely reminder before its pride leads to an inevitable fall. God loves China, He does. In spite of its pagan appearance, His people are growing there. The heart that He has put in His church for that land is unmistakable. And now, He disciplines it before she becomes recalcitrant. Pray too that I will love it as He does some day.
Pill #2 - It seems to be an understatement to say that extent of destruction of the earthquake is huge. But it is our only crutch to help us behold the greatness of our Lord. When the Bible says the earth quaked and trembled in His presence, you'd think you can truly comprehend? The earthquake helps us to do that. The destruction He can bring about is THAT great. He is THAT powerful. The earth is merely His footstool and He is THAT great. Imagine the day when He will come and the mountains will tremble. Pray that we will be found running towards Him and not be scrambling into caves to hide from His presence. Pray that His unfathomable greatness will cause us to behold Him, fear Him and worship Him.
Pill #3 - Imagine that the house you have been saving or paying to own all your life has been reduced to naught overnight. Imagine what is left of all your possessions lie in the rubble. Would I still feel I have a nest to lay my head at night? Would I feel safe and secure? Would I still feel I have something I own? Would I still feel I have something to give? Naked have I come, naked will I depart. All that is in between in transient- each breath, each smile, each tear, each experience is truly by grace and grace alone. Pray that I will truly store my possessions in heaven and be identified in Him alone.
"It is not wrong to want to live better; what is wrong is a style of life which is presumed to be better when it is directed towards "having" rather than "being," and which wants to have more, not in order to be more but in order to spend life in enjoyment as an end in itself.
It is therefore necessary to create lifestyles in which the quest for truth, beauty, goodness and communion with others for the sake of common growth are the factors which determine consumer choices, savings and investments." -- John Paul II
***
Thank you Father for answering my prayers for Man-U. Thank you for indulging this little daughter of yours. YAY!!! *muacks*
There is a strange detachment I felt being in midst of the Wenchuan Earthquake even though I was in China. It might be the over-dosage of propaganda, the fanning of notes in front of the donation boxes before the camera, the silliness of the media coverage on how entertainment stars are contributing to the relief. But my nagging suspicion is that the sum of all that is nowhere near the ignorance of disaster for the spoilt Singaporean, or the cold calculating cynical critic within.
This self-awareness when revealed before Him, is thankfully a sobering correction tool that our Father uses. Though still a far cry from our compassionate Lord Jesus, I pray these thoughts He has left circling will lead to transformation, wisdom and love. Just to share some of this "medicine" He has given me.
Pill #1 - I think it’s His grace that He has humbled the China with this quake. In midst of all the Olympic hype, the growing economic powerhouse, the dragon that is awaiting to prove itself to the world- this quake is its timely reminder before its pride leads to an inevitable fall. God loves China, He does. In spite of its pagan appearance, His people are growing there. The heart that He has put in His church for that land is unmistakable. And now, He disciplines it before she becomes recalcitrant. Pray too that I will love it as He does some day.
Pill #2 - It seems to be an understatement to say that extent of destruction of the earthquake is huge. But it is our only crutch to help us behold the greatness of our Lord. When the Bible says the earth quaked and trembled in His presence, you'd think you can truly comprehend? The earthquake helps us to do that. The destruction He can bring about is THAT great. He is THAT powerful. The earth is merely His footstool and He is THAT great. Imagine the day when He will come and the mountains will tremble. Pray that we will be found running towards Him and not be scrambling into caves to hide from His presence. Pray that His unfathomable greatness will cause us to behold Him, fear Him and worship Him.
Pill #3 - Imagine that the house you have been saving or paying to own all your life has been reduced to naught overnight. Imagine what is left of all your possessions lie in the rubble. Would I still feel I have a nest to lay my head at night? Would I feel safe and secure? Would I still feel I have something I own? Would I still feel I have something to give? Naked have I come, naked will I depart. All that is in between in transient- each breath, each smile, each tear, each experience is truly by grace and grace alone. Pray that I will truly store my possessions in heaven and be identified in Him alone.
"It is not wrong to want to live better; what is wrong is a style of life which is presumed to be better when it is directed towards "having" rather than "being," and which wants to have more, not in order to be more but in order to spend life in enjoyment as an end in itself.
It is therefore necessary to create lifestyles in which the quest for truth, beauty, goodness and communion with others for the sake of common growth are the factors which determine consumer choices, savings and investments." -- John Paul II
***
Thank you Father for answering my prayers for Man-U. Thank you for indulging this little daughter of yours. YAY!!! *muacks*
Thursday, May 01, 2008
A lil prayer for Man U
Dear God,
Thank you so much for letting Man U win :) Hugz. Muacks :p
Now that Man U and Chealsea are through to the Champions league, please "display your glory" that the previous defeat of Man U might lead to a greater win in this finals so that they will see how "the first shall be last, and the last shall be first". And teach the ya-ya Chealsea a lesson :(
Please God give Man U the double this 50th anniversary of the Busby tragedy plllllleeeeeeease?
Thank you so much for letting Man U win :) Hugz. Muacks :p
Now that Man U and Chealsea are through to the Champions league, please "display your glory" that the previous defeat of Man U might lead to a greater win in this finals so that they will see how "the first shall be last, and the last shall be first". And teach the ya-ya Chealsea a lesson :(
Please God give Man U the double this 50th anniversary of the Busby tragedy plllllleeeeeeease?
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Go Man U!!
I’m reminded why I refuse to get too involved in things- like sports, games, tv serials, etc. When I am into something, I get too emotionally involved. Too much for my own good. And last weekend has been a good reminder for me to always keep that safe emotional distance to things without losing the wonder & passion for life, and yet being able to keep that angst and sin away.
So I watched 30 min of August Rush on the plane before the plane began its descent. Buggers. I could not get the movie out of my mind. Dragged myself home, caught up on my sleep having slept only 2 hours on the plane earlier on, and at the first opportune available- I went to Video Ezy to ask for the movie. But sigh, it’s not available till next month. Drats.
I held my breath to find out what’s going to happen in the movie for the next 24 hours. And so finally I succumbed and confessed as I “tu-dou”ed the movie. Dear God, I will be accountable for watching this online. I’m so sorry- but I’ll answer for it on Judgment Day.
Watching the match between Man-U and Chealsea on Sat. I was really sad, depressed and my spirits were so low even till now as I think about it. I really hate Chealsea, cannot stand them. And the refree must be so darn blind and biased. Fwah, and I could not carry on conversations with Gabriel and Enoch the next day about the match without me holding my hand out to them Talk To My Hand.
And the next day, I was asking questions like “God, what is the point of feeling all these sadness in eternity? Where do all these games fit in your plan of eternity, do they amount to anything?” And I had to remind myself that God does not give goals as gifts even when you pray with great faith- and was I a little upset at Him for not giving us victory? Yes. Was I hoping that this defeat will be a better display of His glory later? Yes. Haha, and Arthur could not have put it better “I cannot handle it. It’s like an entire year wasted if we do not win.” And I am just a growing fan, what about those who have followed them all these years- how do they handle it? I hate Chealsea.
Someone left another note on our car that day- “Do you know it’s really rude to park in front of someone else’s door?” I had been pretty calm about the other notes that were left on our car over the years. We parked where we did obviously coz someone else took our lots, coz we wanted to allow the garbage truck to pass by in the morning without having to wake the neighborhood up, and we were parking on the opposite side of your main door- not at your maindoor, and look at how many lots you guys take up with your 4-5 cars before complaining about the one single lot we occupy.
But as I was working up all these justifications, I hatched a little plan. To be zapping 20 copies of this note and putting it on every single car and mailbox before I move out of the neighborhood. Wahaha.. Will I do that? Maybe. But that’s like mean- an eye for an eye is something I play in my mind that’s not supposed to result in action. Yeah, I’ll still get judged for being so un-Christlike but, at least I do no damage. So how? I guess it’ll depend if they upset me any more before I move out.
Argh… emotional distance, is safe. At least it keeps me sane, controlled and rationale. I am a crazy nut as I am. If I allow myself to go with my feelings- I think I’d wreck more damage to Planet Earth. So how do I juggle these 4 balls- safe emotional distance, wonder and passion for life, keeping away angst and sin, and being real. God help me!
But for now, in tenterhooks... All the best Man-U!!!! Bring back the double!!! i'm not watching lest i jinx you, but will be praying from afar...
So I watched 30 min of August Rush on the plane before the plane began its descent. Buggers. I could not get the movie out of my mind. Dragged myself home, caught up on my sleep having slept only 2 hours on the plane earlier on, and at the first opportune available- I went to Video Ezy to ask for the movie. But sigh, it’s not available till next month. Drats.
I held my breath to find out what’s going to happen in the movie for the next 24 hours. And so finally I succumbed and confessed as I “tu-dou”ed the movie. Dear God, I will be accountable for watching this online. I’m so sorry- but I’ll answer for it on Judgment Day.
Watching the match between Man-U and Chealsea on Sat. I was really sad, depressed and my spirits were so low even till now as I think about it. I really hate Chealsea, cannot stand them. And the refree must be so darn blind and biased. Fwah, and I could not carry on conversations with Gabriel and Enoch the next day about the match without me holding my hand out to them Talk To My Hand.
And the next day, I was asking questions like “God, what is the point of feeling all these sadness in eternity? Where do all these games fit in your plan of eternity, do they amount to anything?” And I had to remind myself that God does not give goals as gifts even when you pray with great faith- and was I a little upset at Him for not giving us victory? Yes. Was I hoping that this defeat will be a better display of His glory later? Yes. Haha, and Arthur could not have put it better “I cannot handle it. It’s like an entire year wasted if we do not win.” And I am just a growing fan, what about those who have followed them all these years- how do they handle it? I hate Chealsea.
Someone left another note on our car that day- “Do you know it’s really rude to park in front of someone else’s door?” I had been pretty calm about the other notes that were left on our car over the years. We parked where we did obviously coz someone else took our lots, coz we wanted to allow the garbage truck to pass by in the morning without having to wake the neighborhood up, and we were parking on the opposite side of your main door- not at your maindoor, and look at how many lots you guys take up with your 4-5 cars before complaining about the one single lot we occupy.
But as I was working up all these justifications, I hatched a little plan. To be zapping 20 copies of this note and putting it on every single car and mailbox before I move out of the neighborhood. Wahaha.. Will I do that? Maybe. But that’s like mean- an eye for an eye is something I play in my mind that’s not supposed to result in action. Yeah, I’ll still get judged for being so un-Christlike but, at least I do no damage. So how? I guess it’ll depend if they upset me any more before I move out.
Argh… emotional distance, is safe. At least it keeps me sane, controlled and rationale. I am a crazy nut as I am. If I allow myself to go with my feelings- I think I’d wreck more damage to Planet Earth. So how do I juggle these 4 balls- safe emotional distance, wonder and passion for life, keeping away angst and sin, and being real. God help me!
But for now, in tenterhooks... All the best Man-U!!!! Bring back the double!!! i'm not watching lest i jinx you, but will be praying from afar...
Sunday, April 27, 2008
Incredible India
I have finally set foot in India. Incredible. It’s one of those places that I (and little moo-moo) have always wanted to visit, somewhere God has placed in my heart. It’s not like a strong burden for the nation or anything, but just one of those places that is attractive and special to me. And true enough, one single word that I would use to mark this trip will be “comfortable”.
Be it walking out from the airport to be greeted by a sea of Darlie faces holding out sign boards, riding in the night and seeing cows by the side of the road. Or in true luxurious comfort, my hotel room with its modern home furnishings, and a wonderful breakfast spread by the poolside. Walking for 3 hours straight in the Bangalore traffic, the dusty roads, honking and a much-to-be-improved traffic did not unsettle me. Going about to do my shopping in a tuktuk was fun too. Winding in and out of cars in midst of the pollution made me smile about being able to get so close to the piece of metal next to me.
Even the food settled comfortably in my tummy despite the difference in dining culture. Every night, it was drinks & starters from 8 to 930, then dinner from 930-11. Murgh (chicken) tikka, rougan gousht (mutton), dahl, naan, rice, and lots and lots of different types of curries- yummy!! Well, I’ve gotta worry about the pounds now- but all the foods were like the best Indian comfort foods. Finger licking good!!
The colleagues were really sweet- esp Mohit & Jehan. They took really good care of me and made me absurdly jealous of the Indian hospitality- I’d love to be as hospitable as them. And having worked with them for so long, it’s so nice finally being able to hang out, goof around and even being able to talk about work & discuss issues face to face made me insanely excited. It is a comfort to find that despite being in different geographical locations, employees around the world ask the same questions, wonder about the same stuff and are considering the same options. But one thing I’d add though is that although I have been previously unimpressed by some of the working styles I’ve witnessed, but I now see some of the smartest and most hardworking Indians I know. There is little wonder that Gandhi came from this land.
I have definitely not seen much of India at all- the archaeological sites in the outskirts of Bangalore, Bollywood Mumbai, the capital Delhi or the other of the many states in this most democratic country in the whole world. And there are problems- the poverty gap, beggars on the street, shanty towns, a sense of elitist amongst some of the learned ones, infrastructural improvements, etc. But India has come a long way.
And I took myself by surprise- feeling at home and being comfortable in this land.
I like India. I really really hope to be able to go back again some day and discover the treasures that I have yet to find. Incredible India.
Be it walking out from the airport to be greeted by a sea of Darlie faces holding out sign boards, riding in the night and seeing cows by the side of the road. Or in true luxurious comfort, my hotel room with its modern home furnishings, and a wonderful breakfast spread by the poolside. Walking for 3 hours straight in the Bangalore traffic, the dusty roads, honking and a much-to-be-improved traffic did not unsettle me. Going about to do my shopping in a tuktuk was fun too. Winding in and out of cars in midst of the pollution made me smile about being able to get so close to the piece of metal next to me.
Even the food settled comfortably in my tummy despite the difference in dining culture. Every night, it was drinks & starters from 8 to 930, then dinner from 930-11. Murgh (chicken) tikka, rougan gousht (mutton), dahl, naan, rice, and lots and lots of different types of curries- yummy!! Well, I’ve gotta worry about the pounds now- but all the foods were like the best Indian comfort foods. Finger licking good!!
The colleagues were really sweet- esp Mohit & Jehan. They took really good care of me and made me absurdly jealous of the Indian hospitality- I’d love to be as hospitable as them. And having worked with them for so long, it’s so nice finally being able to hang out, goof around and even being able to talk about work & discuss issues face to face made me insanely excited. It is a comfort to find that despite being in different geographical locations, employees around the world ask the same questions, wonder about the same stuff and are considering the same options. But one thing I’d add though is that although I have been previously unimpressed by some of the working styles I’ve witnessed, but I now see some of the smartest and most hardworking Indians I know. There is little wonder that Gandhi came from this land.
I have definitely not seen much of India at all- the archaeological sites in the outskirts of Bangalore, Bollywood Mumbai, the capital Delhi or the other of the many states in this most democratic country in the whole world. And there are problems- the poverty gap, beggars on the street, shanty towns, a sense of elitist amongst some of the learned ones, infrastructural improvements, etc. But India has come a long way.
And I took myself by surprise- feeling at home and being comfortable in this land.
I like India. I really really hope to be able to go back again some day and discover the treasures that I have yet to find. Incredible India.
Monday, April 14, 2008
i can only imagine..
My current painful saga with my teeth has made me long for heaven- where we all have new bodies and no more tears, no more pain. Let me just indulge in the fantasy of that being a reality as I pop yet again the painkiller that helps to bring heaven on earth for a while…
1. No more losing sleep or waking up in the middle of the night in pain
2. No more need of dieting or watching our diets. Being able to eat tons of ice-cream and chocolate and yummy food without getting tooth decay nor piling on the pounds
3. No more breakouts, pimples and blackheads. Crystal clear succulent skin without using SKII.
4. No more toothache, migraine, flu, fever, chicken pox, avian flu, dengue fever, TB, etc etc.
5. No more hunger and poverty, and resultant deaths. No more dying coz of rising food prices. No more the unjust picture of bodies laden with excesses and bodies with a skeletal frame co-existing.
And here is my wish list for that new body… Daddy, you’re taking notes aren’t you? :p
1. Wings- I don’t want teleporting powers, I don’t want to fly like superman. I want things on my back that I can flap like a bird and fly in the sky. Oh hmm but I don want the wings on my body like its part of me all the time- maybe having it in a parachute bag for me to put them on as and when will be a good idea? You reckon?
2. Perfect eye-sight but optical shops selling glasses to help make me have the geeky look sometimes are still a must.
3. Some magic powers- I haven’t quite figured out which ones I want yet, let me think some more.. But i definitely want a wand and magic spells book. wahaha.. otherwise how can the klutzy me keep my fair share of laughter and trouble creation with my potions gone wrong wahahah..
And I have some questions..
1. At which age will we appear in? In our prime years? As babies/ kids/ grampys?
2. Will we get to know everyone? The heavens will be so wide, wider than earth, then how? Am sure we will not be segregated according to our colors into our continents right…
Aiya… this is getting too exciting and I cannot wait Jesus.. to see the place you have prepared for us. Will it be like the Greek mythology regal with high colonnades, or like candy land with everything sweet and fluffy, or like a big garden/orchard and zoo combined…
where will the lion and lamb sleep side by side in midst of the golden floor and silver seas?
I can only imagine… I can’t wait!!!
**
1. No more losing sleep or waking up in the middle of the night in pain
2. No more need of dieting or watching our diets. Being able to eat tons of ice-cream and chocolate and yummy food without getting tooth decay nor piling on the pounds
3. No more breakouts, pimples and blackheads. Crystal clear succulent skin without using SKII.
4. No more toothache, migraine, flu, fever, chicken pox, avian flu, dengue fever, TB, etc etc.
5. No more hunger and poverty, and resultant deaths. No more dying coz of rising food prices. No more the unjust picture of bodies laden with excesses and bodies with a skeletal frame co-existing.
And here is my wish list for that new body… Daddy, you’re taking notes aren’t you? :p
1. Wings- I don’t want teleporting powers, I don’t want to fly like superman. I want things on my back that I can flap like a bird and fly in the sky. Oh hmm but I don want the wings on my body like its part of me all the time- maybe having it in a parachute bag for me to put them on as and when will be a good idea? You reckon?
2. Perfect eye-sight but optical shops selling glasses to help make me have the geeky look sometimes are still a must.
3. Some magic powers- I haven’t quite figured out which ones I want yet, let me think some more.. But i definitely want a wand and magic spells book. wahaha.. otherwise how can the klutzy me keep my fair share of laughter and trouble creation with my potions gone wrong wahahah..
And I have some questions..
1. At which age will we appear in? In our prime years? As babies/ kids/ grampys?
2. Will we get to know everyone? The heavens will be so wide, wider than earth, then how? Am sure we will not be segregated according to our colors into our continents right…
Aiya… this is getting too exciting and I cannot wait Jesus.. to see the place you have prepared for us. Will it be like the Greek mythology regal with high colonnades, or like candy land with everything sweet and fluffy, or like a big garden/orchard and zoo combined…
where will the lion and lamb sleep side by side in midst of the golden floor and silver seas?
I can only imagine… I can’t wait!!!
**
a side note to my loved ones abroad... i am gonna have my braces done soon which means that in Arthur's words- i'm gonna be a "metal mouth" when i walk down the red carpet. wahaha.. you've been warned here. but well Mr Kok's happy to look better than his bride in the pictures.. so i guess that's worth something.. wahaha..
Thursday, April 10, 2008
Friday, March 28, 2008
Burning Temptation
I know I have been silent for too long.. but have just been completely swamped with work and stuff to do… But now on this Friday evening, have decided to be sedentary, stay home and indulge myself with some peace and quite to just take stock of what’s been going on, update my blog friends, sip some Chinese tea, and possibly, watch a DVD later.
ok.. so what’s been up with me, let me see…
the most significant thing this week would be that I ripped the skin off the cave of my mouth. Even the doctor asked me how did I manage this impossible feat- that made it looked like someone scrapped the skin off the area behind my top row of pearlies. the culprit? my hot peanut butter sugar toast. wahahahahaha…. I know, that sounds like a crazy sinful toast but ah well it’s one of my favourite indulgences.
So that was Tuesday morning… I spread a generous helping of peanut butter on my slice of wheat bread, sprinkled the white sugar crystals on them and sent it into the oven. 5 min later, the sugar crystals are wonderfully caramelized, adding a wonderful shiny texture to my crunchy peanut butter which looked like its smouldering from the heat. Yummy… I knew it’s gotta be hot, so I bit round the edges for a while. and it was not long before I went one round the circumference of the toast. Too impatient to wait, I made a small attempt at the heart of the toast. ahh not too bad. nice.
Rewarded by my first attempt, I got greedy on my second bite. I did not expect the layer of peanut butter to be that thick- honestly. The moment I sunk my teeth into the brown fudge, that did it. The deceiving invitation scalded the cave of my mouth so bad I could feel the skin peeling off right away- and true enough, a faint pink film emerged when my tongue tried to “sayang” the area. Gross I know.
I needed something to cool it down fast. something cold. yeaps, ice cream!!! wahaha.. another good reason to fish out the delicious midnight cookie haagen daaz from the fridge. cold.. nice…
It became so painful to eat over the next 2 days. The area felt raw and even eating vegetables was tough. So upon advice, I went to the doctor to get some cream- and he was like “why is the peanut butter on your toast hot?” After I told him my whole story, he started laughing and said, “well, good thing is you can be eating lotz of ice-cream the next few days…”
And of course I did :p doctor’s advice you know… I something better than just cream, I got my licence to eat ice-CREAM wohooo… that’s how I finished my tub- oops I mean my sister’s tub of haagen daaz in a week. sorry little moo moo, I’ll buy a new tub for you ok? hehe.. 2 tubs of ice-cream in 2 weeks- my ears were painful tonight for a while from her screaming at me.
ok.. so what’s been up with me, let me see…
the most significant thing this week would be that I ripped the skin off the cave of my mouth. Even the doctor asked me how did I manage this impossible feat- that made it looked like someone scrapped the skin off the area behind my top row of pearlies. the culprit? my hot peanut butter sugar toast. wahahahahaha…. I know, that sounds like a crazy sinful toast but ah well it’s one of my favourite indulgences.
So that was Tuesday morning… I spread a generous helping of peanut butter on my slice of wheat bread, sprinkled the white sugar crystals on them and sent it into the oven. 5 min later, the sugar crystals are wonderfully caramelized, adding a wonderful shiny texture to my crunchy peanut butter which looked like its smouldering from the heat. Yummy… I knew it’s gotta be hot, so I bit round the edges for a while. and it was not long before I went one round the circumference of the toast. Too impatient to wait, I made a small attempt at the heart of the toast. ahh not too bad. nice.
Rewarded by my first attempt, I got greedy on my second bite. I did not expect the layer of peanut butter to be that thick- honestly. The moment I sunk my teeth into the brown fudge, that did it. The deceiving invitation scalded the cave of my mouth so bad I could feel the skin peeling off right away- and true enough, a faint pink film emerged when my tongue tried to “sayang” the area. Gross I know.
I needed something to cool it down fast. something cold. yeaps, ice cream!!! wahaha.. another good reason to fish out the delicious midnight cookie haagen daaz from the fridge. cold.. nice…
It became so painful to eat over the next 2 days. The area felt raw and even eating vegetables was tough. So upon advice, I went to the doctor to get some cream- and he was like “why is the peanut butter on your toast hot?” After I told him my whole story, he started laughing and said, “well, good thing is you can be eating lotz of ice-cream the next few days…”
And of course I did :p doctor’s advice you know… I something better than just cream, I got my licence to eat ice-CREAM wohooo… that’s how I finished my tub- oops I mean my sister’s tub of haagen daaz in a week. sorry little moo moo, I’ll buy a new tub for you ok? hehe.. 2 tubs of ice-cream in 2 weeks- my ears were painful tonight for a while from her screaming at me.
Sunday, March 16, 2008
just something for Good Friday
These Inward Trials
by John Newton (Amazing Grace)
I asked the Lord, that I might grow
In faith, and love, and every grace;
Might more of His salvation know,
And seek more earnestly His face.
I hoped that in some favoured hour
At once He’d answer my request,
And by His love’s constraining power
Subdue my sins, and give me rest.
Instead of this, He made me feel
The hidden evils of my heart;
And let the angry powers of hell
Assault my soul in every part.
Yea more, with His own hand He seemed
Intent to aggravate my woe;
Crossed all the fair designs I schemed,
Blasted by gourds, and laid me low.
‘Lord, why is this?’ I trembling cried,
‘Wilt thou pursue Thy worm to death?”
‘Tis in this way,’ the Lord replied,
‘I answer prayer for grace and faith.
These inward trials I employ
From self and pride to set thee free;
And break thy schemes of earthy joy,
That thou may’st seek thy all in me.’
I asked the Lord, that I might grow
In faith, and love, and every grace;
Might more of His salvation know,
And seek more earnestly His face.
I hoped that in some favoured hour
At once He’d answer my request,
And by His love’s constraining power
Subdue my sins, and give me rest.
Instead of this, He made me feel
The hidden evils of my heart;
And let the angry powers of hell
Assault my soul in every part.
Yea more, with His own hand He seemed
Intent to aggravate my woe;
Crossed all the fair designs I schemed,
Blasted by gourds, and laid me low.
‘Lord, why is this?’ I trembling cried,
‘Wilt thou pursue Thy worm to death?”
‘Tis in this way,’ the Lord replied,
‘I answer prayer for grace and faith.
These inward trials I employ
From self and pride to set thee free;
And break thy schemes of earthy joy,
That thou may’st seek thy all in me.’
Monday, March 10, 2008
Candy mix
Candy 1 – Ever noticed how small a sparrow really is? I was walking by 2 tiny friends the other day and mistook them for fallen leaves along the road. I walked so near to one of its kind today that I didn’t notice it till it took off when I was just a step away. And to know that the Father takes care of these little friends despite them being so teeny weeny, so surely He provides even more for me. How amazing the Father’s love for me…
Candy 2 – I found my favorite rain-watching spot yesterday in the back seat of the car. There’s something painfully romantic about watching the rain through the window in the car. Bright headlights of the other motor vehicles reflecting the rain, the sound of the falling drops so near above my head, the night becoming fuzzy and blurred by the water curtains… Don’t know why, this scene just reminds me of Ally McBeal walking along the streets to the background of Vonda Shepherd’s voice… and I guess that adds to the magic of the night.
Candy 3 – Walking the earth with God is the one phrase that constantly blows me away about our forefathers of faith. What is it like and how did they do it. He’s shown me the answer recently, I think. I think. And I pray that be true of my song forever, every day. It’s the supernatural in the natural, and the magic in the ordinary dailies of life. The leaves fall everyday, don’t they?
Candy 4 – Mummy walking out with an umbrella to shelter me from the rain. Hugging mummy and saying goodnight the other day. Just that hug erased all my irritation of her earlier naggings, and the warmth of that brief moment lingers even till today. Makes me realize I miss hugs from my parents for a very long time now.. And of course my little moo-moo too. AND my special ONE.
Candy 5 – My new LIFE Group. They’re really sweet, really really sweet. Perhaps some will say that’s a new group that’s why. And perhaps that is true. But I guess that’s the beauty of the body, when the old has things to learn from the new- and even though the stakes of losing familiarity seems high, but this is one risk worth the while. They may be just who we need to recapture the sense of wonder in the body. It was exceptionally touching to hear Shuhui share with the sparkle in her eye, that she has finally understood what it means for God to be talking to her, and she hears Him now. And she is gonna get baptized. Praise the Lord!
Candy 2 – I found my favorite rain-watching spot yesterday in the back seat of the car. There’s something painfully romantic about watching the rain through the window in the car. Bright headlights of the other motor vehicles reflecting the rain, the sound of the falling drops so near above my head, the night becoming fuzzy and blurred by the water curtains… Don’t know why, this scene just reminds me of Ally McBeal walking along the streets to the background of Vonda Shepherd’s voice… and I guess that adds to the magic of the night.
Candy 3 – Walking the earth with God is the one phrase that constantly blows me away about our forefathers of faith. What is it like and how did they do it. He’s shown me the answer recently, I think. I think. And I pray that be true of my song forever, every day. It’s the supernatural in the natural, and the magic in the ordinary dailies of life. The leaves fall everyday, don’t they?
Candy 4 – Mummy walking out with an umbrella to shelter me from the rain. Hugging mummy and saying goodnight the other day. Just that hug erased all my irritation of her earlier naggings, and the warmth of that brief moment lingers even till today. Makes me realize I miss hugs from my parents for a very long time now.. And of course my little moo-moo too. AND my special ONE.
Candy 5 – My new LIFE Group. They’re really sweet, really really sweet. Perhaps some will say that’s a new group that’s why. And perhaps that is true. But I guess that’s the beauty of the body, when the old has things to learn from the new- and even though the stakes of losing familiarity seems high, but this is one risk worth the while. They may be just who we need to recapture the sense of wonder in the body. It was exceptionally touching to hear Shuhui share with the sparkle in her eye, that she has finally understood what it means for God to be talking to her, and she hears Him now. And she is gonna get baptized. Praise the Lord!
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