Love ME for who I am

When I was single, I’ve always longed for the man who would love me for who I am. No need for beautiful appearances, no need for make up or nice clothes- but just to be loved for who I am. That I will not need to pretend to be who I am not, or change to be someone whom I will never be- he will love and accept all of me- the way I am.

This love I found for many years- only in God, and to some extent my family. It is elusive and unthinkable that another would love me so unconditionally, of his own free will and choose to love me for who I am. I believe that this desire to be loved for who I am lies deep in every soul. Even God. Is it that unthinkable to think that God desires to be loved & worshipped for who He is?

The difference between God and me, is that He is not whiny, attention seeking, “look at me”. He is not flawed, ugly inside out nor selfish. He does not need others to affirm His worth. He is who He is.
The Creator King whose wisdom is beyond measure, the Humble Servant whose heart is beautiful beyond description, the all encompassing Great I AM whose glory knows no bounds nor end, the Faithful Lover who holds on to the very end. He is the only One who deserves to be worshipped for who He is. And He desires to be loved for who He is.

Satan mocked God that there is no one on earth who loved and worshipped Him for who He is- not beyond the good gifts that He gave. What was at stake is not just a little bet- but the entire weight of the glory of God. Satan was saying to God “No one could love You for who You are, God. Do you think anyone truly worships you for You are? They only want Your gifts!” That is why He allowed Satan to test Job- to take away his family, his riches, his health. If Job would still stand and worship Him even in the depths of his sufferings.

Job cried and wailed and lamented in deep anguish. He did not understand, he was pained to think that the God whom he knew to be in control of everything, would do these things to him. But not once in midst of his affliction, Job spoke against God. He lamented and suffered the sacred sorrow till God spoke to him out of the storm. But God gave him no answers. Neither did God told him why these things happened. He just showed Job who He is- and Job repented.

"I know that you can do all things; no plan of yours can be thwarted. You asked, 'Who is this that obscures my counsel without knowledge?' Surely I spoke of things I did not understand, things too wonderful for me to know. "You said, 'Listen now, and I will speak; I will question you, and you shall answer me.' My ears had heard of you but now my eyes have seen you. Therefore I despise myself and repent in dust and ashes."

Father, You are God. I want to love You for who You are, help me please. Beyond the good things You can give, more than Your goodness. I can count the many ways how deserving You are to be loved and worshipped for who You are. But beyond Your beauty, let me love You, simply because You are You.
Lord, You are God and i am not. When things go wrong, keep me close and let me not sin against You. When I do not have the answers, help me trust in You. When the whole world crashes and “You cannot be found”, let me remain in You. When I forget people in my old age, let me not forget my precious Lord and Savior.
Help Your bride to love You, God. To fall in love with You daily, to pursue You passionately. You are God and I want to love You for who You are.

Bangkok Pics

Emma

I fell in love with this old movie recently (thanks to Arthur and Mom) - and found one of my favorite movie character. Emma. This show definitely goes up there with my You’ve got mail and While you were sleeping.

On many fronts, this dear little miss busy-body and match-maker wannabe is so like me. Watching the screenplay of her endeavor to find her good friend Harriet a worthy match, is like holding up a mirror before my own silly dreams of hooking up beloved friends. An alarm bell to not be a silly cupid, especially since I have my prejudices & short-sightedness that can well lead to bad judgment.

I like Emma Woodhouse better than Elizabeth Bennet (from Pride and Prejudice) – she’s a lot chirpier, flightier, and more fun. Hooray for blondes! BUT My Mr Darcy is still un-trumpable. Wahaha..
Mr Knightly’s pretty charming too, but unfortunately, I feel that his character is not too well developed, one of the ills of Jane Austen’s heroine-centric novels. Nevertheless, the chivalrous males from Jane’s novels work their charms on your through the show so subtly.. such that by the end of the movie, you’d wanna go back to the beginning to get to know them all over again.

So here’s sharing some of my fave quotes from the movie.

The most beautiful thing in the world is a match well made.
~ The Christian in me can rise to refute this statement and reduce it to ashes.. But let’s go easy and not dash the dreams of sweet Emma’s matchmaking efforts.

Your entire personality is a riddle, I thought you overqualified.
~ I love this line… Smart and witty.

It left us speechless, quite speechless, and we have not stopped talking of it since! ~ Another one that cracked Arthur up big time.

Maybe it is our imperfections which make us so perfect for one another.
~ Pretty cliché sounding, but I guess many couples can identify with this one. Still pretty tacky I must say.

Badly done Emma! Badly done.
~ Mr Knightly reprimanded Emma for her unkind remark to a socially awkward friend, and broke my heart.

Emma: I have given them charity, but not kindness, a virtue which some friends may doubt I still have.
Mr Knightly: The truest friend does not doubt, but hope.
~ One of my favorite exchanges between them, very thoughtful and good soup for the soul. Addressing character flaws of the protagonist, gains Emma one up above other just-about-romance romantic comedies.

Dear Lord, if he cannot share a life with me is it wrong to ask that he not share it with anyone? That we go on as we go on now, him stopping by at any hour, always the brightest part of our lives, a natural and easy member of the family. i would be content if he would just stay single Lord, that's it, if he would just stay single that would be enough for me to be perfectly satisfieed...Almost...Amen.
~ Emma’s diary when this little girl finally realized that she has fallen for her friend… Cutely vicious.. hahaha. Beware men for not returning a girl’s affections :p

I watched the movie 3 times in a single day. But if you wanna watch it ever, ask me to watch it with you, please!!!!!

***

On a side note, will be away for the weekend to Bangkok with Arthur. So this space will be a little quiet for a while!

Bride means cook

As I learnt during my bridal shower, “bride” in old English means cook. So how has this newly married fulfilled her “cooking responsibilities” so far?
Taking stock of the days and months, it’s surprising that it’s been only close to 3 months. But my sister would probably say that I’ve cooked more in these 3 months than the last 3 years. Hahhaha…

So just a quick run-down of my cooking excursions so far (sorry no pictures!)-

Prawn Paste chicken wings – baked! Wings lovers may turn their nose on this, but I’m telling you chicken wings can be baked to crisp perfection when you have a master baker (me! :p )- and with sufficient time to allow the wings to soak in the marinade, you don feel that you’ll be missing out much on the unhealthy batter. I’m slowly getting there, it’s a skill to know when to turn up the heat, when to flip each wing over, how golden brown should the perfect wing be. *smackin licious!*

Buffalo wings – Likewise, baked to golden perfection- it’s the healthier cousin of what they serve in Hooters. I’ve made it twice, and am still perfecting the sauce. It’s getting better I think, but I’ve gotta go out there to eat more of these before I can decide how I best like my Buffalo wings to taste.

Chocolate cupcakes with fudge center – It turned out pretty well actually, and honestly I think cupcakes are a lot easier to make and serve than a huge cake in a big cake tin. It was a pleasant surprise to see the cupcakes shrink from the sides of the metal tin tray so nicely- don have to worry about getting the cake out of the cake tin and not breaking it.
And these lovely little things are easy to make a hole in to pour the fudge in. It was a simple experiment, that I think I’m gonna be more adventurous with. Raspberry sauce, hot fudge, white chocolate sauce seeping out of a warm moist chocolate cupcake- anyone?

Burritos – It’s one of Arthur’s favorite foods, and Taco Bell in Singapore is expensive and sucks in his opinion. So I have to try my hands at making this Mexican dish for my darling. Its pretty easy honestly- hamburger (or what we would call mince) browned with taco seasoning, wrapped in a warm tortilla skin with refried beans, shredded cheddar, lettuce, tomato, and top it up with some salsa- there you have it! Serve it with some tortilla chips, and it’s an authentic Mexican home-cooked meal.

Shabu Shabu @ home – I love Shabu Shabu. Between 7 to 12, we used to have it almost every Sunday at our favorite Japanese restaurant in Tanglin Shopping Centre, at a very affordable price. Ever since it closed down and broke our hearts, the alternatives were grotesquely expensive. So having been starved of Shabu Shabu for so long, have decided to make this Japanese hot pot at home.
The soup is easy- boil it with the thick Japanese seaweed, and you’ll have a nice clear broth. It’s about the ingredients and sauces really- don save on these! Get good cuts of shabu shabu beef, lots of nice golden mushrooms, big white cabbage, the special sauce for dipping the veggies in and the sesame based sauce for the meats. What I need to remember to hunt for next round are the thick Japanese noodles. Any suggestions where?

Tommorrow, will be trying my hands at Thai Pineapple rice and Kai Yang chicken tomorrow. Have made the former many times, so it’s the Kai Yang chicken that’s making me a little excited. Hope it turns out well!!

Bless the broken road

This song is one of Mom's favorite, and when Arthur shared it with me during the early days of our courtship- this song by Rascal Flatts very quickly grew on me too.. Here's sharing a version sang by Rascal and Carrie Underwood with you.. enjoy the beautiful lyrics :)

**

I set out on a narrow way many years ago

Hoping I would find true love along the broken road

But I got lost a time or two

Wiped my brow and kept pushing through

I couldn't see how every sign pointed straight to you

*

Every long lost dream led me to where you are

Others who broke my heart they were like northern stars

Pointing me on my way into your loving arms

This much I know is true

That God blessed the broken road

That led me straight to you

*

I think about the years I spent just passing through

I'd like to have the time I lost and give it back to you

But you just smile and take my hand

You've been there you understand

It's all part of a grander plan that is coming true

*

Now I'm just rolling home

Into my lover's arms

This much I know is true

That God blessed the broken road

That led me straight to you

That God blessed the broken road

That led me straight to you.

**

The institution

There had been a debate at home some time back- about a Christian’s response towards the institution. The institution can be the organization that we work in, its cold-hearted policies, the sum of its politicking colleagues and bottom-line only management. The institution can also be the authorities whose state we live in, it’s autocratic democracy, and laissez faire based governance.

Let the institution be the company we work in.

How shall the Christian view the “company”?
An arbitrary entity void of emotions- will one be a fool to invest emotionally and believe in its name? The wages it pays are but a fair return for the work done- will one be silly to accord loyalty to it?

And how shall the Christian “treat” the company?
The company has hired me because I am their best option at that point as well- should feelings of gratitude be deemed unnecessary? Another company has head-hunted me and offered to pay off my scholarship, one cannot be faulted having returned the company its investment in monies it has demanded in contract- all “righteousness” has been fulfilled, what is wrong with jumping ship? And where progress has been stunted due to a slip, shall I not bail out on the unforgiving institution in pursuit of greener pastures to better fulfill my potential & other life commitments?

One thing I’d say right from the start, is that the Christian need not have illusions about the goodness of the company. The company is made up of people to fulfill certain objectives. Objectives that may be aligned to some of one’s objectives in life, but there is no perfect alignment at all times. And people managing the company are sinful, wicked people- people not very different from herself if she were to be honest.
But should the nature of the company be the determining factor of how the Christian treat the institution? Should that be so, the Christian will need to re-look at her doctrine, and re-examine her life that has been left unexamined for too long. Faith has slowly been divorced from deeds, and God from His throne.

When Paul instructs slaves to obey their masters- I don think he had the loving master in mind. Nor when he instructs everyone to be subject to governing authorities, had he forgotten that those were the authorities that had crucified his Christ. But what he knows for certain is that “there is no authority except that which God has established… Therefore, it is necessary to submit to the authorities, not only because of possible punishment but also as a matter of conscience”. (Romans 13:1-5)

When the Christian forgets that it is God who stands behind the institution, that He is the one ultimately in control, she will be tempted to act like the pagans do- rejecting submission, according no kindness, planning and plotting the next step to keep herself ahead and acting only with her self interest as her guide.
When the Christian forgets her duty to God is in all of her life, she will act like the world- that her stomach is more important than integrity, money is valued more than honor, and her name is more important than God’s.
When the Christian forgets that it is to God who gives and takes away, and man & circumstances are but His tools (just as the nations were His judgment to Israel), she nurses hatred & grudges for a time too long and hurts herself. She begins to think that she can do all things through her strength, and manipulate to get away. She can no longer give thanks for she has earned and deserve everything with her hands.

The institution is the world. The world will never be good to the Christian, the world will never be just. The world is God’s tool to mould the Christian, the fire that refines and burns the chaff away. It matters not how the institution treats the Christian-the outcome is certain. It will not always be fair, but God will reprieve in the end. But it matters how the Christian treats the world for she bears His name. She must carry her cross each day, and live for His honor and glory alone. Amen.

O our taste buds!

Saw little Abigail chewing her piece of bread during class that day- it looked so tasty, so sweet and like she’s enjoying every single bite of it. But it was only plain white bread she was chewing. It made me start wondering how and when did our taste buds change as we grow up?

The training of mental faculties happened in school, we progressed from elementary arithmetic to advance algebra as the teachers worked with us through classes and homework. The moulding of our character was fundamentally a factor of our parent’s love and discipline, peer influence, and the environment we were in. Our fashion sense changed with the times and were dictated by the fashion moguls like Louis Vuitton, Gucci and Versace.

But our taste buds… Who told us what is to like and what not to? Mummy can tell us not to eat the unhealthy chips but she cannot tell us not to like its taste. Grandma can tell little boys to eat their veggies, but she cannot stop them from thinking it taste like poison.

How did our taste buds morph (or degenerate?!) from finding white bread tasteless, and find only ‘atas’ bread from Provence palatable? How did it stop finding satisfaction in Cadbury, and considers only Godiva or its likes worthy chocolate? How did our taste buds become fickle to our “favorite” kind of chips- switching from Sour Cream Pringles to Original Lays to Cheddar Ruffles to Honey Dijon Kettle Chips within a year; and yet at the same stayed faithful to the old-fashioned vanilla ice-cream we had since we’re five? O our taste buds! You're an enigma :p

I have no answer for these musings- nor would I attempt to objectify something so subjective- especially since everyone’s taste is different, and each man is rightfully entitled to his own. As Xun always says “One man’s meat is another man’s poison”. The mystery also gives me room to insist that “my taste has changed” when I don feel like eating something some day. :p

But one moment of truth I’d throw to those with expensive taste buds though- is to remember what we used to like & find satisfying in the old days, and not become too far from returning to them some day. Do not become a victim of your own taste buds. Do not fall prey to restaurant operators who deepen the rich-poor divide subconsciously based on the food we eat- they are but after our pockets. Do not feel “high class” simply because you ate at a “high class” restaurant.

And remember- while we are choosing today the type of grains we would like in our Q Q Rice Balls, there are those who do not even have that spoonful of rice they require to live that day.

Tiny thoughts on a Friday

"Sometimes I wonder about my life. I lead a small life - well, valuable but small. And sometimes I wonder, do I do it because I like it, or because I haven't been brave?"

This is one of my favourite quotes from one of my favorite movies by one of my favorite Hollywood sweethearts. It’s small and it’s sweet, but very haunting too. Wondering if my decision to stay or my indecision to move, would have led me to something very different in life. But thankfully, the certainty that He holds my life firmly in His hands is strong enough to hold back any foolish bravado.

**

Dedicated to a precious aching heart-

I don have an answer for you and I don know what to say.
It’s a beauty they say to dare to love and give a part of your heart away.
But before the courage is taken again in time,
I pray and plead- that you’ll dare to decide that He will be your prime.
So that when He takes your heart and give it to another,
You’ll know the peace that is for real.
The certainty that it’s His will for you,
And you have His blessings for sure.
He wants the best for you, not one who will hurt you,
Trust Him and His choice and time- He never fails.
And He alone is God who holds your future-
Beauty He says, is surrendering to His plan.

P/s: It hurts me to see you cry, am helpless,
But my tiny shoulders are here.

story illustrations (II)

“How is married life?”

For the lack of a celebrity status, there will be no friends from the press who would cover a public statement for me. So here I am to address a fond question of many when they meet me. Some are from kind-hearted passer-bys who asked the “by-the-way” question on their way. :p Some are from my beloved friends- whom I cannot give an adequately honest answer during my time with you, as my mental faculties cannot work fast enough during conversation. So, if you really want to know… here’s a peek at some of my thoughts..

Married life is a bed of roses. The passionate big blooms that tell you life is beautiful, and makes you smile each day the sun shines through the window. The accompanying greens that gives a calm soothing quality to the ordinariness of the everyday life. The thorns that sticks and pricks no matter when you’re carefully treating each other, or carelessly brushing the other person off. The roots that go “down-to-earth”, reminding you of the reality of the hard work that needs to go into making the tiny love plant grow- and also building a home together.

I cannot complain about our team effort in the kitchen when he cleans up after I cook. And it’s really fun to cook for two and eating the meal together- be it in front of the TV watching the Lord of the Rings, or just at the dining table catching up on each other’s day.
And he does most of the cleaning the house- although he’s still waiting for me to fly into a rage and scream “Don’t touch my things!” :p The record of this messy one’s stands at an occasional frown- “there’s order in my chaos ok..”
Although we were told that we’re strong communicators, there are times when the communication line is broken as well- there are still times when the intent is misunderstood, or when the tone is not pleasing to our ears, or when an apology is not given as expected.

Married life is having a mirror held up to you 24-7. He’s your biggest fan and cheerleader, and harshest critic and voice of conscience at the same time. It’s a delicate business pointing out the other person’s erroneous behavior and bad attitude- and no acquaintance would care enough to do that, nor would a friend would risk the relationship to do that, and we discount our family most of the time. But I guess that’s why our Good Father has given us the perfect environment of a marriage to spur us towards holiness. When correction is done in and with love, the humble pie is easier to eat and you want more to change. Pray that it will always stay this way.

Married life is His grace in my everyday. Recently, I have felt like an unworthy daughter of the Most High, a hypocritical testimony at best. I cringe when I need to pray aloud, and choose to be an ungrateful brat when I could give thanks. I don’t know how to open the door to Him, and I feel stuck in this spiritual mess. But yet when I cried for an answer, He points me to the breath He has given us both today- and that we have each other to hold. And this is grace untold.

Married life is “business as usual”. The wedding’s an event- it is fun. And there are life-long lessons still to learn about being married and “working things out together”. But yet in the stillness of your heart, when the activity ceases in your mind as you wait for the red light to turn green, what lies deepest within still- is an answer you have to give to Your King. How will you live your life for Him.

Living Word 2008

Thanks to Yibin and Serene, was treated to a Revelations 12-14 feast by DA Carson this week. This was the 2008 Living Word conference held by our brothers and sisters in the Anglican Church. The clear NT scholar once again opened my eyes to the jewels in the Holy Scripture with his faithful exposition of the text. *clapclapclap* Will try to contain my praises for this man of God as I am sure he is not seeking for man’s applause- but may all honor & glory be to God whose Living Word is powerful, and the bestowing of gifted teachers to encourage His people. :)

There are lots of wonderful treats listening to Prof Carson. he leaves you with a good grasp of what the text is talking about and solid applications to digest, the history & context of not just the message but also world & church history, wonderful nuggets of interesting bites on things like how apocalyptic literature works, worldview of key Christian theology, clearer insights on not just the text in study and also other parts of the Bible… But the best part of it is that you do not feel like a knowledge-puff at the end of it. Hard to believe- but you don’t.

Instead, you feel like you have just been ushered into the throne room of God, caught another real glimpse of Him, contemplated on yourself & your world, and be once again brought to your knees in holy fear. Like what James has said- it’s like looking into the mirror. And you see a reflection of yourself, not just because of what it says about mankind, but because you see a clearer picture of your Creator-Maker-Saviour-Lord.

You thought you knew Him, but you didn’t- not of His justice, not of His wrath, not of His Majesty.
You thought you knew your place before Him, but actually you didn’t- not how disgusting and adulterous you have been as you go about setting up idols in your life, not how you’ve trivalized His holy wrath that would burn and consume you if not of His Son, not how you have made Him small by assuming you're familiar with Him, not how you have made yourself god by thinking you can approach the Almighty in any fashion you like in the name of grace.
You have been so mistaken, so mistaken.

That I may fear You, Lion of Judah
That I may remember You, the slain Lamb
That I may owe my all to You, Creator and King
That I may love You, the One who loved, loves and will save me.

That I may have Your heart, weeping for the hardened hearts
That I may have Your feet, to go and seek the lost
That I may be like You, and be the broken bread
That I will be to You, like a pleasing offering.

"If there's anyone who can appear before Aslan withouth their knees knocking, they're either braver than most or else silly... who said anything about safe? Of course he isn't safe. But he's good. He's the King, I tell you"

There is much much to share on the content- but I’d rather have you listen to him. Have placed an order for the CDs of the talks- let me know if you’re interested!

story Illustrations...

Just some quick pics from the wedding to satisfy the curious first.. More will be added later! Still waiting for my photographer to get back to me *yawn*

Pics from Arthur & Xun's birthday party @ Khansamana. Indian anyone?

His Story

***

Just a simple story, one of many in history
Of life given in love, a promise to eternity

We live but in a moment, within the frame of time

An ordinary allegory, our lives to be a sign

*

There is a greater story beyond our history

Of life given in love- a pathway to eternity

He came but in a moment, within the frame of time

To redeem the fallen story, His life rewrote the lines

**
We come today to celebrate

A chapter in the story of two hearts

That in His time have vowed

To write His love in life

And on this day

We pray that as you follow in His way

(In His image He will mould, as the story unfolds)

His Story will be told

In your everyday

***

*Thanks Grace, Henry & Bernice for this lovely song... could not have captured our prayer better* :)

My Big Fat Greek Wedding

Stealing the movie title “in honor” of my own inter-cultural marriage. Of course the label is apparent to everyone looking in from outside; and Arthur prob feels it more than I do at this point, since he is the one now living in a foreign culture. But there is this strange feeling as I admit to being a party in this “social-cultural phenomenon”, that is the subject of many studies.

Marriage is of course too big to be discussed, and we are still experiencing its thrills and pricks in the course of our relationship. So for now, would just like to use this space to leave some alternative reflections upon our “inter-cultural wedding”, as we slow down after the wedding preparations, family holiday, and all the huzz buzz.

Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue- the common “must-haves” on an American bride. Didn’t know about this till the bridal shower actually, so was my borrowing of lynn’s gown a “prophetic move”? hahaha… Was missing the blue thing though, does the car count? :p

Having a real real home made wedding cake was really sweet. (In Singapore, we typically have a “fake cake” with only one layer of real sponge for cutting as the camera clicks.) Thank you all for your labor of love- and to all those who loved it, thanks for making the efforts worthwhile.
The process of the baking of the wedding cake was jaw-dropping. Mom & Brittany spent an entire day baking 17 chocolate and vanilla sponges. Aunt Carol and cousin Jane spent another day putting the cake together- decorating it with white chocolate icing, carving the intricate design of the 5 layered cake. And its tradition to keep a portion of the cake for 1 year, and have it on our first year anniversary. Now let’s hope my mother doesn’t scream for taking up that space in her freezer for so long.

I thought throwing the bridal bouquet only happened in the movies. FUN!! Thanks to all my gal pals for being so game to be willing to reach for the bouquet :)

Really really wanted to see each other for the first time that day in church, at the ends of the aisle. Thankful to my parents for allowing my secret dream to happen. Being willing to allow me to do away with the “receiving the bride” in the morning, and having the tea ceremony in church. All whom I have troubled to have the make-up done in church, thanks!!

Given the screwball queen I am, the wedding would of course not have been “signaturely me” if the sounds didn’t screw up that day hahaha. Everyone and everything else was too perfect, so something has to give you see. But really sorry to have caused Bingxun & Enoch so much stress in the sound room, and so sorry to those who were there who had to bear with some bad screeches.

The above are just the froth of my reflections on that day of course. There is so so much to give thanks for. And the weight of the love that we received from family & friends- who gave, who were there, who wanted to be there, is just too weighty for words. So just allow us to plant your seeds of love in our hearts, and praying that our lives will bear fruit for you some day.

* pictures later, promise ;) *

Scibbles before the day..

Indeed things have been pretty quiet around here for a while… But well how can I leave no trace of one of the memorable seasons in my life on this precious collection of my thoughts…

So it’s counting down 5 days to the wedding. 5 days- goodness, from months to weeks to days, it has come to this. Nervousness and anxiety? Nope, not at this point though I can so totally see the butterflies coming in to stay in my tummy on Friday.

Let’s make some quick notes on what has happened so far-

Totally completely bowled over by God’s provision for the family’s accommodation. It’s ideal, affordable, perfect and beyond perfect- in the entire climate of skyrocketing hotel and rental prices, lack of options for short term rentals, delays in committing to what seem to be good God-given options. He has given where we have now. Praise be to Him!!

A little tired from all the mid-night trips to the airport. 2 consecutive nights- not too many but pretty tiring nonetheless. Arthur’s family has almost all come by this weekend. Spending time with them, hanging out- it’s all pretty fun. But somehow, I wish I had the quiet time and space to have deeper conversations with each of them. In time in time- after all it’s been only 2 days… And I know my man’s been pretty stressed- hiding in his cave and trying to solve problems by himself. Pray for him.

The bridal shower Arthur’s mother, aunt & sisters threw for me was good fun. Learnt that “bride” in old English meant “cook” *bleah*, received about than 7 cookbooks *hope I use them enough* and 4 sexy nighties *errr…nervous* as bridal shower gifts. I guess it’s all well summed up by what Marilyn (Arthur’s mother) pointed out- there are only 2 rooms that a woman can make her man happy- the kitchen and the bedroom.

But I guess one single thought that really captured me today in midst of all the fanfare was this- that as I make my vows to a man to love him in sickness and in health, for richer and poorer, for better for worse till death do us part- may I the bride of Christ also live that single-minded commitment to Christ as the vows prescribe. That this role as a bride to a man, may teach me more on how to be a bride to my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

One Pure Holy Passion

"Adoption is as far as possible from the mindset that rejects children as an intrusion.... God's cost to adopt us was infinitely greater than any cost we will endure in adopting and raising children." -- John Piper

And should not the cost that He has incurred compel me to offer the option of adoption to all mankind- irregardless of how ugly and awful i think they are? If He cares, and if i love Him, He needs to matter more than them. Shall i let His blood be shed in vain for them?

Bangalore & Beijing Trip

Sichuan Quake

"No one may claim the name Christian and be comfortable in the face of hunger, homelessness, insecurity, and injustice found in this country and in the world."

There is a strange detachment I felt being in midst of the Wenchuan Earthquake even though I was in China. It might be the over-dosage of propaganda, the fanning of notes in front of the donation boxes before the camera, the silliness of the media coverage on how entertainment stars are contributing to the relief. But my nagging suspicion is that the sum of all that is nowhere near the ignorance of disaster for the spoilt Singaporean, or the cold calculating cynical critic within.

This self-awareness when revealed before Him, is thankfully a sobering correction tool that our Father uses. Though still a far cry from our compassionate Lord Jesus, I pray these thoughts He has left circling will lead to transformation, wisdom and love. Just to share some of this "medicine" He has given me.

Pill #1 - I think it’s His grace that He has humbled the China with this quake. In midst of all the Olympic hype, the growing economic powerhouse, the dragon that is awaiting to prove itself to the world- this quake is its timely reminder before its pride leads to an inevitable fall. God loves China, He does. In spite of its pagan appearance, His people are growing there. The heart that He has put in His church for that land is unmistakable. And now, He disciplines it before she becomes recalcitrant. Pray too that I will love it as He does some day.

Pill #2 - It seems to be an understatement to say that extent of destruction of the earthquake is huge. But it is our only crutch to help us behold the greatness of our Lord. When the Bible says the earth quaked and trembled in His presence, you'd think you can truly comprehend? The earthquake helps us to do that. The destruction He can bring about is THAT great. He is THAT powerful. The earth is merely His footstool and He is THAT great. Imagine the day when He will come and the mountains will tremble. Pray that we will be found running towards Him and not be scrambling into caves to hide from His presence. Pray that His unfathomable greatness will cause us to behold Him, fear Him and worship Him.

Pill #3 - Imagine that the house you have been saving or paying to own all your life has been reduced to naught overnight. Imagine what is left of all your possessions lie in the rubble. Would I still feel I have a nest to lay my head at night? Would I feel safe and secure? Would I still feel I have something I own? Would I still feel I have something to give? Naked have I come, naked will I depart. All that is in between in transient- each breath, each smile, each tear, each experience is truly by grace and grace alone. Pray that I will truly store my possessions in heaven and be identified in Him alone.

"It is not wrong to want to live better; what is wrong is a style of life which is presumed to be better when it is directed towards "having" rather than "being," and which wants to have more, not in order to be more but in order to spend life in enjoyment as an end in itself.
It is therefore necessary to create lifestyles in which the quest for truth, beauty, goodness and communion with others for the sake of common growth are the factors which determine consumer choices, savings and investments." -- John Paul II

***

Thank you Father for answering my prayers for Man-U. Thank you for indulging this little daughter of yours. YAY!!! *muacks*

A lil prayer for Man U

Dear God,

Thank you so much for letting Man U win :) Hugz. Muacks :p

Now that Man U and Chealsea are through to the Champions league, please "display your glory" that the previous defeat of Man U might lead to a greater win in this finals so that they will see how "the first shall be last, and the last shall be first". And teach the ya-ya Chealsea a lesson :(

Please God give Man U the double this 50th anniversary of the Busby tragedy plllllleeeeeeease?

Go Man U!!

I’m reminded why I refuse to get too involved in things- like sports, games, tv serials, etc. When I am into something, I get too emotionally involved. Too much for my own good. And last weekend has been a good reminder for me to always keep that safe emotional distance to things without losing the wonder & passion for life, and yet being able to keep that angst and sin away.

So I watched 30 min of August Rush on the plane before the plane began its descent. Buggers. I could not get the movie out of my mind. Dragged myself home, caught up on my sleep having slept only 2 hours on the plane earlier on, and at the first opportune available- I went to Video Ezy to ask for the movie. But sigh, it’s not available till next month. Drats.
I held my breath to find out what’s going to happen in the movie for the next 24 hours. And so finally I succumbed and confessed as I “tu-dou”ed the movie. Dear God, I will be accountable for watching this online. I’m so sorry- but I’ll answer for it on Judgment Day.

Watching the match between Man-U and Chealsea on Sat. I was really sad, depressed and my spirits were so low even till now as I think about it. I really hate Chealsea, cannot stand them. And the refree must be so darn blind and biased. Fwah, and I could not carry on conversations with Gabriel and Enoch the next day about the match without me holding my hand out to them Talk To My Hand.
And the next day, I was asking questions like “God, what is the point of feeling all these sadness in eternity? Where do all these games fit in your plan of eternity, do they amount to anything?” And I had to remind myself that God does not give goals as gifts even when you pray with great faith- and was I a little upset at Him for not giving us victory? Yes. Was I hoping that this defeat will be a better display of His glory later? Yes. Haha, and Arthur could not have put it better “I cannot handle it. It’s like an entire year wasted if we do not win.” And I am just a growing fan, what about those who have followed them all these years- how do they handle it? I hate Chealsea.

Someone left another note on our car that day- “Do you know it’s really rude to park in front of someone else’s door?” I had been pretty calm about the other notes that were left on our car over the years. We parked where we did obviously coz someone else took our lots, coz we wanted to allow the garbage truck to pass by in the morning without having to wake the neighborhood up, and we were parking on the opposite side of your main door- not at your maindoor, and look at how many lots you guys take up with your 4-5 cars before complaining about the one single lot we occupy.
But as I was working up all these justifications, I hatched a little plan. To be zapping 20 copies of this note and putting it on every single car and mailbox before I move out of the neighborhood. Wahaha.. Will I do that? Maybe. But that’s like mean- an eye for an eye is something I play in my mind that’s not supposed to result in action. Yeah, I’ll still get judged for being so un-Christlike but, at least I do no damage. So how? I guess it’ll depend if they upset me any more before I move out.

Argh… emotional distance, is safe. At least it keeps me sane, controlled and rationale. I am a crazy nut as I am. If I allow myself to go with my feelings- I think I’d wreck more damage to Planet Earth. So how do I juggle these 4 balls- safe emotional distance, wonder and passion for life, keeping away angst and sin, and being real. God help me!

But for now, in tenterhooks... All the best Man-U!!!! Bring back the double!!! i'm not watching lest i jinx you, but will be praying from afar...

Incredible India

I have finally set foot in India. Incredible. It’s one of those places that I (and little moo-moo) have always wanted to visit, somewhere God has placed in my heart. It’s not like a strong burden for the nation or anything, but just one of those places that is attractive and special to me. And true enough, one single word that I would use to mark this trip will be “comfortable”.

Be it walking out from the airport to be greeted by a sea of Darlie faces holding out sign boards, riding in the night and seeing cows by the side of the road. Or in true luxurious comfort, my hotel room with its modern home furnishings, and a wonderful breakfast spread by the poolside. Walking for 3 hours straight in the Bangalore traffic, the dusty roads, honking and a much-to-be-improved traffic did not unsettle me. Going about to do my shopping in a tuktuk was fun too. Winding in and out of cars in midst of the pollution made me smile about being able to get so close to the piece of metal next to me.

Even the food settled comfortably in my tummy despite the difference in dining culture. Every night, it was drinks & starters from 8 to 930, then dinner from 930-11. Murgh (chicken) tikka, rougan gousht (mutton), dahl, naan, rice, and lots and lots of different types of curries- yummy!! Well, I’ve gotta worry about the pounds now- but all the foods were like the best Indian comfort foods. Finger licking good!!

The colleagues were really sweet- esp Mohit & Jehan. They took really good care of me and made me absurdly jealous of the Indian hospitality- I’d love to be as hospitable as them. And having worked with them for so long, it’s so nice finally being able to hang out, goof around and even being able to talk about work & discuss issues face to face made me insanely excited. It is a comfort to find that despite being in different geographical locations, employees around the world ask the same questions, wonder about the same stuff and are considering the same options. But one thing I’d add though is that although I have been previously unimpressed by some of the working styles I’ve witnessed, but I now see some of the smartest and most hardworking Indians I know. There is little wonder that Gandhi came from this land.

I have definitely not seen much of India at all- the archaeological sites in the outskirts of Bangalore, Bollywood Mumbai, the capital Delhi or the other of the many states in this most democratic country in the whole world. And there are problems- the poverty gap, beggars on the street, shanty towns, a sense of elitist amongst some of the learned ones, infrastructural improvements, etc. But India has come a long way.

And I took myself by surprise- feeling at home and being comfortable in this land.

I like India. I really really hope to be able to go back again some day and discover the treasures that I have yet to find. Incredible India.

i can only imagine..

My current painful saga with my teeth has made me long for heaven- where we all have new bodies and no more tears, no more pain. Let me just indulge in the fantasy of that being a reality as I pop yet again the painkiller that helps to bring heaven on earth for a while…

1. No more losing sleep or waking up in the middle of the night in pain
2. No more need of dieting or watching our diets. Being able to eat tons of ice-cream and chocolate and yummy food without getting tooth decay nor piling on the pounds
3. No more breakouts, pimples and blackheads. Crystal clear succulent skin without using SKII.
4. No more toothache, migraine, flu, fever, chicken pox, avian flu, dengue fever, TB, etc etc.
5. No more hunger and poverty, and resultant deaths. No more dying coz of rising food prices. No more the unjust picture of bodies laden with excesses and bodies with a skeletal frame co-existing.

And here is my wish list for that new body… Daddy, you’re taking notes aren’t you? :p

1. Wings- I don’t want teleporting powers, I don’t want to fly like superman. I want things on my back that I can flap like a bird and fly in the sky. Oh hmm but I don want the wings on my body like its part of me all the time- maybe having it in a parachute bag for me to put them on as and when will be a good idea? You reckon?
2. Perfect eye-sight but optical shops selling glasses to help make me have the geeky look sometimes are still a must.
3. Some magic powers- I haven’t quite figured out which ones I want yet, let me think some more.. But i definitely want a wand and magic spells book. wahaha.. otherwise how can the klutzy me keep my fair share of laughter and trouble creation with my potions gone wrong wahahah..

And I have some questions..

1. At which age will we appear in? In our prime years? As babies/ kids/ grampys?
2. Will we get to know everyone? The heavens will be so wide, wider than earth, then how? Am sure we will not be segregated according to our colors into our continents right…

Aiya… this is getting too exciting and I cannot wait Jesus.. to see the place you have prepared for us. Will it be like the Greek mythology regal with high colonnades, or like candy land with everything sweet and fluffy, or like a big garden/orchard and zoo combined…
where will the lion and lamb sleep side by side in midst of the golden floor and silver seas?
I can only imagine… I can’t wait!!!

**

a side note to my loved ones abroad... i am gonna have my braces done soon which means that in Arthur's words- i'm gonna be a "metal mouth" when i walk down the red carpet. wahaha.. you've been warned here. but well Mr Kok's happy to look better than his bride in the pictures.. so i guess that's worth something.. wahaha..

Happy birthday moo moo!!

Burning Temptation

I know I have been silent for too long.. but have just been completely swamped with work and stuff to do… But now on this Friday evening, have decided to be sedentary, stay home and indulge myself with some peace and quite to just take stock of what’s been going on, update my blog friends, sip some Chinese tea, and possibly, watch a DVD later.

ok.. so what’s been up with me, let me see…

the most significant thing this week would be that I ripped the skin off the cave of my mouth. Even the doctor asked me how did I manage this impossible feat- that made it looked like someone scrapped the skin off the area behind my top row of pearlies. the culprit? my hot peanut butter sugar toast. wahahahahaha…. I know, that sounds like a crazy sinful toast but ah well it’s one of my favourite indulgences.

So that was Tuesday morning… I spread a generous helping of peanut butter on my slice of wheat bread, sprinkled the white sugar crystals on them and sent it into the oven. 5 min later, the sugar crystals are wonderfully caramelized, adding a wonderful shiny texture to my crunchy peanut butter which looked like its smouldering from the heat. Yummy… I knew it’s gotta be hot, so I bit round the edges for a while. and it was not long before I went one round the circumference of the toast. Too impatient to wait, I made a small attempt at the heart of the toast. ahh not too bad. nice.

Rewarded by my first attempt, I got greedy on my second bite. I did not expect the layer of peanut butter to be that thick- honestly. The moment I sunk my teeth into the brown fudge, that did it. The deceiving invitation scalded the cave of my mouth so bad I could feel the skin peeling off right away- and true enough, a faint pink film emerged when my tongue tried to “sayang” the area. Gross I know.

I needed something to cool it down fast. something cold. yeaps, ice cream!!! wahaha.. another good reason to fish out the delicious midnight cookie haagen daaz from the fridge. cold.. nice…

It became so painful to eat over the next 2 days. The area felt raw and even eating vegetables was tough. So upon advice, I went to the doctor to get some cream- and he was like “why is the peanut butter on your toast hot?” After I told him my whole story, he started laughing and said, “well, good thing is you can be eating lotz of ice-cream the next few days…”

And of course I did :p doctor’s advice you know… I something better than just cream, I got my licence to eat ice-CREAM wohooo… that’s how I finished my tub- oops I mean my sister’s tub of haagen daaz in a week. sorry little moo moo, I’ll buy a new tub for you ok? hehe.. 2 tubs of ice-cream in 2 weeks- my ears were painful tonight for a while from her screaming at me.

just something for Good Friday

These Inward Trials

by John Newton (Amazing Grace)

I asked the Lord, that I might grow
In faith, and love, and every grace;
Might more of His salvation know,
And seek more earnestly His face.

I hoped that in some favoured hour
At once He’d answer my request,
And by His love’s constraining power
Subdue my sins, and give me rest.

Instead of this, He made me feel
The hidden evils of my heart;
And let the angry powers of hell
Assault my soul in every part.

Yea more, with His own hand He seemed
Intent to aggravate my woe;
Crossed all the fair designs I schemed,
Blasted by gourds, and laid me low.

‘Lord, why is this?’ I trembling cried,
‘Wilt thou pursue Thy worm to death?”
‘Tis in this way,’ the Lord replied,
‘I answer prayer for grace and faith.

These inward trials I employ
From self and pride to set thee free;
And break thy schemes of earthy joy,
That thou may’st seek thy all in me.’

Candy mix

Candy 1 – Ever noticed how small a sparrow really is? I was walking by 2 tiny friends the other day and mistook them for fallen leaves along the road. I walked so near to one of its kind today that I didn’t notice it till it took off when I was just a step away. And to know that the Father takes care of these little friends despite them being so teeny weeny, so surely He provides even more for me. How amazing the Father’s love for me…

Candy 2 – I found my favorite rain-watching spot yesterday in the back seat of the car. There’s something painfully romantic about watching the rain through the window in the car. Bright headlights of the other motor vehicles reflecting the rain, the sound of the falling drops so near above my head, the night becoming fuzzy and blurred by the water curtains… Don’t know why, this scene just reminds me of Ally McBeal walking along the streets to the background of Vonda Shepherd’s voice… and I guess that adds to the magic of the night.

Candy 3 – Walking the earth with God is the one phrase that constantly blows me away about our forefathers of faith. What is it like and how did they do it. He’s shown me the answer recently, I think. I think. And I pray that be true of my song forever, every day. It’s the supernatural in the natural, and the magic in the ordinary dailies of life. The leaves fall everyday, don’t they?

Candy 4 – Mummy walking out with an umbrella to shelter me from the rain. Hugging mummy and saying goodnight the other day. Just that hug erased all my irritation of her earlier naggings, and the warmth of that brief moment lingers even till today. Makes me realize I miss hugs from my parents for a very long time now.. And of course my little moo-moo too. AND my special ONE.

Candy 5 – My new LIFE Group. They’re really sweet, really really sweet. Perhaps some will say that’s a new group that’s why. And perhaps that is true. But I guess that’s the beauty of the body, when the old has things to learn from the new- and even though the stakes of losing familiarity seems high, but this is one risk worth the while. They may be just who we need to recapture the sense of wonder in the body. It was exceptionally touching to hear Shuhui share with the sparkle in her eye, that she has finally understood what it means for God to be talking to her, and she hears Him now. And she is gonna get baptized. Praise the Lord!

Catch 22

A couple of recent happenings made me realize that I am a victim of the free spirit more than I knew I was. I hate being told what to do, I hate having restrictions on my schedules, and I want to do what I want to do, when I want to do it and how I want to do it. In the least, I want to own my decision- even if it is a decision to be made to be dictated according to some expectations, it was my choice. And I willingly bear all consequence.

Of course I can easily tell how selfish all of the above sounds as it starts with the big I. But yet a part of me contemplates the above in light of the free will that God has given man, right from the start of Eden. How does the above measure up? As I have chosen to follow Him, am I not free to also make a choice in what to do and what not to do? And as He has allowed man to make that choice to de-god Him and suffer the consequence, why do I feel that people are trying to impose upon me what God did not even impose on Adam?

I will willingly bear the label of being a selfish b**** if I were truly so- and I am sure that there are many times when I am worthy of that label. But with every decision, naturally the party’s whose interests has been less than satisfied will feel that the decision is a selfish one- because their interests have been marginalized- pot calling kettle black?

The older child syndrome in me finds it hard to legitimize any decision that benefit only myself. And as God’s child, I see a need to balance the equilibrium in the bigger family when needs are not met. So if I have to juggle between living on earth and living for heaven, my blood and my spiritual family, reaching out & caring for those in the pen, making money & taking care of the big and small things at home, someone who needs to hear some perspective & someone who is just suffering an attention deficit from me- is there a single place where sanity lies? a decision either way will always make the other party feel side-lined. the catch 22 of my life.

I like to clearly know why I feed some expectations, which makes me happy to do so. I have recently owned the decision to fill up water bottles and dry the dishes as part of my duty as a daughter. I am doing it coz I choose to do it, because I love my mum- not because she told me to do it, and it doesn’t matter if no one else in the family cares to do it.

I am rambling now, I really am. I am not tired of life, I have known all the above things long ago. And I thought I have been getting a hang of handling all the expectations that are thrown my way, and handling the negative vibes with loose handles or erected walls. After all, many others have life harder than me. Surely, I screw up sometimes of course but I’ll just try again. And I guess I am pricked some times still- which is good. After all, I am only human.

So my prayer is to embrace this dance of life, dancing about the different roles in the different corners of the stage. All in all, that it’ll be a good dance for my only Audience- who loves me and alone commands my destiny. He has never had a set of formula that He wants me to follow, but I know in His sovereignty, He makes my every move- be it through a burden, a thought, a vibe in my heart, a chance appointment, an unexpected situation or simply the weather. Let me be dancing through life….

Car tunes…

and so my driver-cum-laptop carrier-cum-lunch deliverer-cum-RM buddy finished his contract with the company last Friday, and declined to renew his contract due to a job mis-fit and wacky colleague relations amongst many other reasons.

have gotten so accustomed to calling him the person I see most, over the last 3 years- save for my stint in Beijing- that I’m actually a little sad that I’m not gonna be able to say that any more. I saw him 7 days a week, and almost 10 hours of my waking time. and so allow me to indulge and recollect what listening to car tunes each morn with “my sister’s boyfriend” meant.

it’s nice to be able to ride in the car with someone whom you can listen to the radio with. always being the one who feels a need to engage people, it’s means a lot for me to just be able to sit in the car and listen to Glen & the Flying Dutchman with my sister and Xun, without saying very much else. I guess he’s family to me, already.

there are times I roll my eyes and knit my brows as he drives- with the reckless cut-ins and jerking and jam-braking. but all in all, he’s driven us safely to school and work- without getting into accidents. serving my sister and I when I am too tired to drive, even when the bags and rings around his eyes are a lot more worse. thanks for the rides!

oh.. and for all the conversations we’ve had in the car. the good ones and the bad. the ones that ended up in laughter or in tears. be it talking about the wedding or ministry, our families and friends, or soccer or the weather, or just me hearing you repeat things like an old recorder. and not to mention the fights that had me ending with “I cannot carry on this conversation any more, let’s just stop it here”. All sweet now.

Of course your presence in the office makes a difference too. And I will miss hearing the signature laughter, the jackfruit and chiku on my table, and just sneaking chats every now and then. Work-wise, you’ve been a great help in the office really- there were times of screw-ups but all in all, good job pal!

I’m praying that as this chapter of your life closes, you would have learnt a thing or two about yourself and bring them with you. And as another one opens, your friend here will be rooting for you to get that degree. Ganbate ne!!!!

Happy Rat Year?

after being missing for some time.. well here's just to wish you a happy Chinese New Year :)

it seems like Mickey isn't the only icon for this year of the Rat*... so will just use this latest mouse in town to greet you well :p

*: for my dear family and friends abroad, the chinese have their Zodiac signs taking after some animals and this year happens to be the year of the rat.

honestly, after that last rat that had wrecked havoc in my house last year, it really is tough for me to be looking at these pictures of rats with any ounce of affection. ate up our food, leaving lots of mess, leaving a stech where they have been, wrecking our nerves and putting us all on RED alert... what i'd most like to do with them is this.. if not, to engage Peter Piper to drown all the rats away.

~

anyway... this year's new year visitations have been pretty fun. despite being tired out- 8 visitations on day 1, 4 visitations plus a sentosa trip on day 2. drunk uncles sprouting truths, lots of nuts and tarts, and having my Arthur around... all fun :)

~

but just some quiet reflections on the season - am kind of tickled by the prospect of deepening my relationship with some of my cousins since God has somehow brought them into my work vicinity and radar. praying that i can be faithful to Him in them.

~

the 2 sermons heard yesterday delivered a single message that came loud and clear- we are only as rich as how much we give. and it's a really timely reminder as Arthur & i are thinking about married life, our finances, budgets and all. praying that we can reflect our Daddy and give abundantly to those around us as He has given so richly to us. to be rich towards Him.. ang pows for our Heavenly Daddy, ever crossed your mind?

~

perhaps the only slight glitch is that i am still "happily" staying away from some people whom i wish i can get them out of my life... forgiveness is really tough as i have come to learn, and it really takes killing ourselves, denying our interests and putting Christ first to forgive. i know its a lesson i need to learn, and i am truly amazed at my mother for her popensity to forgive. but till the lesson is learnt, may He give me grace and mercy.

Scribbles on the Museum

Have been kinda quiet lately. partly because I have been really busy at work, also because most of my free time have been taken up preparing stuff for ministry, the wedding and all. and whatever little bit of time I have left, I’d rather be a bimbo and just relax.

And now that my man is here with me, I guess we’ll just be catching up on the wedding preparations and spending time with people. so expect yet another long drought of blog entries :p but before I go, hehe.. will leave you with a couple of scribbles on our trip to the National Museum yesterday…

It’s really really pretty. there were a couple of really cool concepts and ideas- modern interpretations of the history; the passage of time through swinging lamps; usage of art, lightings and sound to give the senses a wholistic experience; and lots of heart-warming sharing that gave the exhibits a personal touch.

We only managed to get on a guided tour through the Singapore History Gallery, explored the 4 galleries on Singapore Fashion, Film, Food and Living and rested our legs over Mocha @ Novus. All this took us 2.5 hours, and we didn’t even manage to go back to review the exhibits in the Singapore history although we very much wanted to. And I missed the Greek exhibition from the Lourve (I think Susan saw when she was in Beijing :p) that I so wanted to see L anyone keen to go there again with me?

sigh I’m a little masochistic I think. When we were apart, I was always thankful for the time apart that allows us to focus on ministry and other people. But first day he is here, am already upset about his departure 16 days later. Being around him makes me more keenly aware of what I’m missing out from being apart I think. but ah well, in good time in good time.

***

oh and did i tell you.. he brought Sleeping Beauty here.. :p hahaha.. and so now we are one more cartoon richer in our Disney collection :)

ok, that’s all for a while. I guess I’d better wish you a Happy Chinese New Year first :p Better early than later.

too free?

So Data Ops is gonna set up a blog site, and was asked on a personal favor to contribute one of the maiden entries.. goodness- how many side jobs do i have... but as usual, this sugar-cane being a sugar-cane once again goes under the presser.. and this is what she came up with...

What’s up for Chinese New Year?

Following on the well-received Christmas Decoration Competition (thank you so much for your participation, Data Ops!!), many have asked if the Social Comm was gonna organize a New Year Decoration Competition.

For fear that some creative precious souls will enjoy themselves so much, that they may really contemplate a career switch to doing decorations, Social Comm decided to lay off that indulgence this time. :p

One down side of that decision is however that our office will not have a chance to “look like a red packet”, and therefore you might not smell the (year of the) RAT creeping in. But I’m sure as all our warm-hearted colleagues start bringing in the pineapple tarts and peanut cookies, the festive cookies will not just lend its aroma to the office but fill the air with “Dong dong dong qiang!”

So is the Social Comm not doing anything for the Chinese New Year????

Of course…………

NOT!!! You can always count on us to give you the reason to let your hair loose during office hours, can’t you? :p

Good traditions ought to be preserved, and therefore Social Comm will be bringing you the Data Ops Annual Lo-Hei!!!

Rainbow colored veggies on a huge plate with sweet and sour sauce, precious salmon strips that bode you a good year of excesses, and the only chance during the year to pay no heed to mum’s advice- and play with your food with all you’ve got. How can you miss Lo-Hei??? Eating cannot get more fun than Lo-Hei :)

So don’t miss the chance to celebrate this New Year together with our Annual Lo-Hei, get your red packet from Steve-ye (the Chinese call their god of wealth- ‘Caishen-ye’), and eat as many Mandarin oranges as you can!!

Now, we’re just waiting for the Lion Dancers to dance into our office to kick-start our celebrations. Keep your eyes on your mailbox for more updates!

~jo, on behalf of Social Comm~

my perfect day

wake up in the morning at 9
walk around the house in my pyjamys a little and spot the papers on the table.
have a piece of warm 9-grain toast with marmalade & sip my orange juice as I read the news.
fiddle around with my hair and decide to take a shower.
change into a white frock and flat slip-ons and out of the house I go.

settle into a breezy park to read my book.
when I am bored, take out my crayons and sketch book and just doodle a little.
I will spot the ice-cream man and he will give me a Haagen Daaz chocolate cone.
walk around the shimmery lake and smile to myself.
a child will pass me by and tell his mama that he wants an ice-cream too.
something tells me inside that it’s time to go home.

head home and fish out some leftovers from the refrigerator.
with dinner in the microwave, I take a hot shower and slip into my pyjamys again.
put in my DVD and sit in front of the tv eating dinner.
feeling good after my romantic comedy, I get ready for bed.
with a hot cup of tea and tucked into bed, I try to read
but after a while I fall asleep.

it’s nice to let your imagination run for a while to take you through your perfect day, at least it happened while it lasted :)

what’s your perfect day like?

happy!

My trip to Gramaphone @ Cathay yesterday made me a very very happy woman.. my man cant quite access my blog in Beijing, and i usually dutifully send him my entries- i'm gonna make an exception this time hahahaa.. don tell on me please!!!

anyway, yes back to my trip to Gramaphone.. bought 2 VCDs which made me very very happy.. the reworked version of the Little Mermaid (my favourite- and Berno just told me it's hers too) & Cinderella!!!!!!! hehe.. its our little ambition to collect all the Disney classics you see.. can't wait to see the smile on his face when he sees the CDs.. don ask me what has a man got to do with Disney- let him answer that for himself.. but that was one of the things that made me know "we were made for each other" wahaha.. shallow hor..

a pity that the others like Beauty and the Beast ( moo moo's favie) & Sleeping Beauty (Arthur's favie) have not been reworked yet.. haiz so gotta wait.. let me know first hand if you ever see the ORIGINALs in the market!!!

anyhow, as if i'm not thrilled enough, Papa sent me a cup of Starbucks coffee (which i was still deliberating whether or not to get) through the Citibank officer at the music store. He took my biometrics and helped me signed up for the biometric payment thingy- which i was too lazy to get done some time back, and gave me a Tall Latte coupon. Double blessing!!! Xun, that's why i told you it's on Him.. hehe..

and not to mention the sunshine on Saturday so i could get all my laundry and mattresses sunned... Thank you Daddy!!! You've spoilt me this weekend you know that? *hugz*

At the airport

The opening of T3 marks a new chapter in the aviation transport scene in Singapore. I must admit that I am surprised to find out that it is even bigger than the HK airport. Anyhow, I am not paid to do publicity and I have not been there, but the opening of the new airport terminal is nevertheless the source of inspiration for this entry.

The airport is one of the best places to people-watch. Every turn of the corner, you will be treated to a display of emotions and activities that you hardly see in the ordinary course of life. And it gives you the hope that the city dwellers are not that a cold-blooded bunch after all.

At the departure hall, you see families crowding around the son or daughter who is leaving for abroad. Mums shedding tears, dads fighting hard to control their emotions and patting their beloved on the shoulder as a sign of support. Friends gathering to say their last good-byes. In another corner, families are leaving happily to go on vacation. And yet in another scene, a businessman just passes through the customs briskly eager to settle down in Coffee Bean to get started on his laptop.

At the arrival hall, you see smiles everywhere. Anxious faces peering through the glass window, eager to catch the first glimpse of who they are waiting for. And when a wave is returned from someone familiar inside, a bright radiant smile breaks out. “There he is!” Exchanges of hugs and thankful glances to welcome the traveler home. Sweet.

I really do like the airport quite a bit. where emotions are worn on sleeves and no one too shy to show their love. Wish I can go by for a coffee some day soon to people watch again.

Signing off 2007

As the waves of time bring us into 2008, let us be riding into it on the promises that He will be with us. As 2007 was, may 2008 be His as well :) Happy New Year Father, Jesus & Holy Spirit, and Blessed New Year folks!

Beautiful Lord, Wonderful Saviour

I know for sure, all of my days are held in your hands,

crafted into your perfect plan

You gently call me into your presence
guiding me by Your Holy Spirit
Teach me dear Lord to live all of my life through Your eyes

I'm captured by Your holy calling
Set me apart, I know you're drawing me to yourself
Lead me Lord I pray

Take me, Mould me, use me, fill me
I give my life to the Potter's hand
Call me, guide me, lead me, walk beside me
I give my life to the Potter's hand

Sri Lanka

i know many of you might have been disappointed with my response when you asked me how is Sri Lanka. i guess i have not quite come round to the mixed feelings i've had on the trip, nix the jet lagged-ness :p

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from why this trip is to be such a special one- of course any trips taken with my dear moo moo is in and of itself a precious experience, but well she knows the reason;

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to the beauty that the land & people had to offer- the wild safari, the lush nature, the riches from the earth, pure beauty... but this is somewhat tainted by the rich-poverty gap, city-rural differences, effects of globalisation on this country;

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to the stirrings it produced in me when i think about the political climate and instability of the country due to the LTTs, and how it has handicapped its growth to become one of Singapore's biggest threat, and the fact of how poor and fragile our little island is;

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to how my heart soured when over and over again i am reminded of the truth that the Church is so weak today - the blue mosque in Turkey, the Buddhist & Hindu temples in Sri Lanka. despite being tourist attractions, they all had worshippers going into worship. But yet, the cathedrals in Europe only serve as pubs and cafes, and a tight slap across our faces...

I often prayed "Father forgive them, they know not what they are doing" when i see idol worship. But yet when faced with the huge statues i see, the "magnificence" of the temples constructed, the people throwing themselves down in "contrition" on "holy ground", the words could not come to my mouth.

The jealousy for God's glory failed my prayer. How does God stomach His creation giving their undying faith to stones? How can He endure seeing these things... And how can those who worship the true and living God give so little, when those who worship the false gods can give so much...

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I enjoyed the trip, i really did. But i think the lessons it brought me this Christmas season is somewhat depressingly awakening... Pardon my failure to be more enthusiastic about Sri Lanka for now- it's a beautiful land with beautiful people, it really is. But i wish they could see the beauty of the One who had given them all these.

Cloudy updates

There’s something very romantically humbling about seeing clouds move.

When you raise your eyes upon the heavens and you see this giant piece of cloud roll by, paying no heed to the proud building standing before it. The concrete giant looks but like a clumsy, stiff block that ought not be there. The accomplishments of man that it seeks to boast of, is reduced to naught.

On a cool breezy day when you see the cirrus clouds against the backdrop of the clear blue skies, they look light and wispy and unimportant. But yet man will not be able to touch it, nor contain it, nor reach it. And this brings man back to the ground- that no matter how important we feel we are, there is actually very little we can do.

I used to be able to see a picture in every cloud when I was a little girl. Did an angel ride in that flurry car? Or care bears “stared” that into place. Is that candy for me? Maybe I can take a shower in that cloudy bath tub when I get to heaven.

Now, I only wish that I’d have time for this once favorite hobby again. And wish that I’d still be able to see the pictures within the clouds again.

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And it makes me so pleased to be able to write in midst of my crazy schedule this week... makes me feel somehow i'm in touch with my inner self still...

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As for now, i just want to wish my very special kor a Happy Birthday. The heavens rejoiced the day He made you years ago, and here today on earth, many are rejoicing that you are in our lives. Thanks for being who you are and coming my way :)

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Anyhow, this day-dreamer is glad that she's able to go off for a holiday... so the next time you hear from me, its prob about the beautiful pearl of the Indian Ocean :) so here's just me wishing you a very blessed Christmas. And may the Hope, Peace, Joy and Love of this season be with you always...

A little bit of Enchantment

Really really like Enchanted.. i know, shoot me, it's such a girly, kiddy movie.. but honestly, it's so fun.. and so real… for one who has always longed for a little piece of magic in the city, there's nothing that beats seeing a fairy-tale princess fitting in so well and making a difference in the city.

"i could be that princess!" haha...

But of course, there is also that drool worthy Patrick Dempsey in the movie. Playing the New York lawyer whose heart was broken and never believed in "happily ever after", and wanted to shield his daughter from broken dreams by taking fairy tales out of her library. He’s a mirror of most city dwellers. Thankfully, having met the love of his life before he settled for a sensible safe solution- the magic returned to his dull city life.

Enchanted is enchanting, especially if you’d give the movie more thought. There is so much philosophy in it. Do fairy tales belong only in story books- do we not need to believe in it to live a spirited life? Can we not live in a castle with our feet planted on earth? What is reality? Will you be able to handle magic when it happens? Extend that thought to the Christian faith.

Really tired…

I am seriously wondering how much longer I can hold out
I don’t even know if I am ok or not
But I do not dare to give it serious consideration.

He has made me strong for He is my fortress
But I am tired of being strong
So tired of being the one there every time.

I wish I was as optimistic as I sound on stage
Swallowed tears and stomached the fears
The torrents still rage inside.

They do not even know they have disappointed me
And how they have worn me out
But I do not think they care.

Perhaps it was wise to just stay away
To set up that emotional barricade
Maybe next time, it will not be too late.