Dearest Elliot,
Happy 9th birthday! We celebrated your birthday by going to a Virtual Reality Experience and Gordon Ramsay's burger - where you got to indulge both your love for burgers and football. Happy birthday son, you are so precious to us.
These years seem to be getting more and more difficult, and I find myself helpless on how to parent you. Whether it's your flippant attitude, piercing words, cheeky twerks, anger outbursts, hurtful actions, disrespectful behavior and unknown triggers of shame... I'm struggling. Perhaps i am overly critical or annoying, or that I try too hard. Between not wanting to over-react, but also not wanting you to think that these things are ok because they are not, and wanting to hold you to a high standard to the man you can be - I find myself most worried about how both you and Mya would turn out, and whether I would fail you as a mother. I worry about relinquishing too much authority or responsibility.
Thankfully, you have a father who is ever so patient, compassionate and loving. He lets you be you. He knows you deeply and shows compassionate, unconditional love. Yet, he also disciplines you. I know you love him so much and fear him too. And we have a God, who is my only source of hope at the end of the day - who made you, formed you, and holds you in His hands. And so if the best thing I can do is to be so weak so His strength can be made perfect in my weakness, then that shall be my boast.
You've made so much progress in dealing with being in the tornado zone. You know when to step away to calm yourself down. You get over things faster and you don't let things fester. You speak your mind and wear your heart on your sleeve. I love how this is so evident in your prayers.
And despite all that you say about and do to Mya, I know that you love her, look up to her and tries to keep up with her. You delighting in Wicked before the movie came out, belting out to Backstreet Boys songs, reading books that Mya did; all show Mya's influence on you.
Your love for sports and natural athletic abilities marvels me. Coming home from the book fair with the NFL posters for your wall and ceiling, all the stats and names you have in your head, and how your day high and lows are tied to your games at recess.
I love you son, so much. I cannot wait to see how God will continue to mold and shape you, to His glory and praise. I pray God will make you His own, that you will come to know and love and serve Him with all your heart, and that He will help me love you well.
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