The 3rd Trimester

I’ve tried so hard not to say “I’ve had such a difficult pregnancy”. Because I know no pregnancy is a walk in the woods; and I’ve heard many times the good advice “don’t believe the horror stories, God made the woman’s body to be able to do this, you’ll be fine”; and I wish I was one of those women who could pass on the good cheer of loving being pregnant.

But truth be told, I cannot help but feel validated when people say “you’ve had a difficult pregnancy”. Not because I liked being the damsel in distress, or the attention lavished upon the sickly heroine in Korean dramas; but because I can finally rest from my fight to be positive about my pregnancy experience. I may not have the “worst story in the world”, or the “hardest pregnancy” (and trust me, I’m don’t want to have that honor); but I don’t have to normalize or trivialize what I went through.

For the record and those who have not heard, I’ll be delivering on 11^th October (Friday) 3 weeks ahead of the due date 31^st October. Yes, the baby will be induced – more on that later. Before all the fanfare of welcoming our little baby into the world, here’s how these last 2 months went down…

So I got infected by Poison Ivy one weekend while working in the yard with Dad and Arthur in Decatur.

Aside: I’m still not sure how to process this one, because I had specifically thought “I don’t want to play the pregnancy card and not go out to help!” Perhaps the lesson here is to learn to more about the “dangers of the great outdoors” and to be more careful and less foolhardy during pregnancy; but I’m not sure if my mantra is a bad one to have. One thing for sure, I’ve learnt a great deal about “leaves of three, let them be”, what to do after working outdoors, etc. Gotta make this painful lesson count!

Due to the pregnancy, my immune system was suppressed. So the Poison Ivy infection did not flare up till a week later. And by that time, it had gotten into the bloodstream and the irritation got referred to other parts of the body (which manifested itself in a different kind of itch and spotty bumps on other parts of my body).

After numerous sleepless nights, a great deal of itching and scratching, use of home/ OTC remedies (like ice-packs, aloe-vera gel, calamine lotion), several doctor visits to the OBGYN and Dermatologist, blood test, a skin biopsy, multiple treatments (including oral steroids, topical creams, bleach baths), and many times sitting on my bed and breaking down in tears; God finally gave me relief from the poison ivy and referred allergies. 

God has been truly merciful, for He knows what I can bear. What has remained from this episode are patches of scarred skin and spotty bumps on my body and limbs. At another time, this vainpot might have been worried about how she’d look- but knowing that God had “protected my face” (for that might be more than what I can bear :p), protected the baby, delivered me from this painful and itchy episode; I can honestly say the scars are reminders to be of how good God is to me right now, to have delivered me from itch! I see them, and cannot believe that I am not scratching till blood is oozing out of the pores.

One major cause of the persistent itch after the Poison Ivy cleared up, was my elevated bile acid levels. The doctors diagnosed this as “Cholestasis of pregnancy”. There is statistical correlation of this condition and still-births, so the doctors have recommended inducing the baby at 37 weeks (almost full term, and the major organs of the child are developed). So this is why we’re doing it next Friday!

Every birth is undoubtedly a miracle, but it really hit home that if God will give us this child safe and sound, healthy and alive; it is nothing less than His grace and mercy, love and compassion on us. Life and health is NOT “normal” in this fallen world cursed by death. Whilst we entrust her life to the only One who can keep it, and we are looking forward to meeting our little one soon; I must acknowledge that there are many moments in a day when I wonder how she is doing inside. Until I see her face to face, and even for every day of her life; I will be praying for God to keep her safe in His arms.

Anyway, as if the 6 weeks long struggle with all my bodily sores is not enough, I was inflicted with hemorrhoids. It wasn’t just swollen veins because of all the pressure in that area, there were multiple blood clots as well. Sigh! I will not go into how difficult it was to sit down or have bowel movements. Thankfully, my doctor skillfully removed them. Although healing from a cut in that area is by no means fun, the good news is that it’s healing slowly and surely.

I’ve gone back and forth whether or not to blog about this - it's not a particularly encouraging piece. But it is part of my journey, a significant episode in this important life event, and something that He has used to give me empathy for those who struggle with physical ailments.

So thank you for listening to me “whine”, thank you for letting me know that you care, and thank you for  your prayers. And I also want to say thank YOU God, for being there.