One month in...

Hi there!

It has been a month since I started at Morningstar. If I had a chance to have coffee with you, I’m sure you’ll be asking me how it has been. So I’m going to have this cup of coffee with you, sipping slowly miles across the oceans.

It had been 8 years since I started at a new company, so I have forgotten what it is like to be the “new person”. I missed my old colleagues a LOT a LOT in the first 2 weeks. Coming from a place where people knew you, liked you and you have worked so well with, to a place where people did not know you and possibly saw you as a threat. I felt like the Israelite who wanted to go back to Egypt- things were better back then! At this point, I feel a little more settled in, but still convinced that what I had at TR was so special, things will never be the same.

Work is somewhat easier here, since it’s not a new game. So I’m kinda bored and unchallenged. Truth be told, I have very little motivation to push myself to do more. I miss bouncing ideas off more experienced people, be pushed to consider an alternative perspectives, colleagues whom I genuinely like working with and would go the distance for them. And I guess, what I had been involved prior had been so massive and challenging, that peanuts are just boring now.

On one hand, having experience and being good at something is a good thing; but I would hate to be stuck doing the same thing. Then again, it’s just the first month. So I hope I’ll get a change some day- after all, that was what I came here for.

I also realized that I have been thoroughly spoilt. I was very disgruntled when my manager’s manager made such a big deal about my flexibility request, escalating it all the way up to senior management. So much for priding itself on being a flexible company! Cognitively, I understand where they are coming from, they don’t know me well enough, and I’m making all sorts of demands even before proving myself. But still… Lesson learnt: it’s not enough to have verbal agreement during the interview process, ensure every request is written into the contract!

I’m starting to sound really whiney, aren’t I? Ok.. things are not that bad- there are some other spiritual lessons I’ve learnt and blessings I can count apart from the above.

Initially I was a little concerned reporting to my very good friend. Though I was not thrilled then, I am thankful for it now. God in some ways had arranged for Jung-min to come and help ease things for me! All the way from New York, to come and be my friend in the company, and an advocate in helping me with all the HR and managerial hoops I had to jump through for my flexibility requirements. I thought I could count on my abilities to get what I need and want, but who knows what could have happened? And coming from a merit-based system in Singapore and being confident that I “earned my stripes” in TR, I am not sure if I’ve ever had, or appreciated having a friend and advocate… But now I do. A friend and an advocate- it’s so precious that we have them! Transferring that to the Friend and Advocate we have in Jesus, who is infinitely more able, our salvation is secure!

I am happy that I get to leave my work behind when I shut down- much lesser stress from work. I am enjoying my train rides and walks down to the office too- there’s much to do, listen to, watch and pray about. And I am catching glimpses of desires to honor Him in my work, and be a good testimony- help me Lord to think every thought for You!