Casting the first stone…

“Should the holiness (and excellence) of the ministry be compromised by grace?”
“Should a struggling leader be removed from leadership?”
“Should a group be disbanded for the lack of a perfect leader?”

It’s interesting how these questions have come my way again- going a full circle. My answers would have been easily black and white, and measures drastic were I much younger. But looking back at the years, my heart just swells as I revisit these questions again.

Not because I have better answers now – in fact my answers are much less satisfying theoretically speaking. But it just seems that as I grow older and older, I recognize more and more I am too young, too small, too inexperienced to take on these questions. And as He shakes my world to seem grey, He has shown me how the colors are settling to their perfect tone behind the grey scales, and blinded me with the magnificence of His artistry when the bleak blanket is finally lifted.

I have not traded passion for inaction, nor compromise absolutes, do not be mistaken. But during this season, as I think about the small group ministry, the different journeys our leaders have taken, and studying about God and his kings in DM- I have only one desire.

I yearn no more than to walk closely with Him, to feel His heart beat, to see what my Father sees when He looks upon my struggling brother, the faltering ministry, the scattered sheep. I yearn to serve Him faithfully, to re-establish His kingdom in the hearts of man, to have others know and experience His love deeply. I yearn to expose all my weaknesses that His strength be made perfect, through my failings show His will is pleasing and perfect.

I still hold fast to my theological convictions, and desire excellence for my Father’s work. But when each and every man is but still a work-in-progress, and our eyes far too short-sighted to see what the future He holds for the fellow pilgrim- who am I to cast a stone? Shall I judge the extent of the sin that can be seen, what about the adulterous heart and mind that escapes the eyes of man?

Pardon me when I seem to move to slowly or do too little, do not give up challenging me either, but please do pray for me- that I shall remain in Him and do only the things He wants me to do in His own time.

Let the love that both accept and discipline, wait and pursue, protect and refine, trust and hope be lived out in our midst. Let His holiness and grace be shown, restoration be given to the repentant one, and the flock having a shepherd given by the Lord. Let His kingdom come and will be done in you and in me.