Daddy daddy

Just finished reading "Dinner for Two" by Mike Gayle. i know i have not enjoyed it as much as the friend who recommended it to me. it was a fun read but not a rave-rave for me :p but what struck a chord is probably the father-daughter theme in the book, made even more poignant by the sunday that just passed. Father's Day.

Every girl desires for a hero-daddy. At least i did. I remember spinning tales about dad when i was in third grade, just to outdo the stories my best friend told about her father. Truth is, dad was never around. He never bought me the stuff i bragged about, never did the things i'd imagined he would do with me, never hugged me when i cried, never held me when i fell... The best contact i had of him then was the phoneline.

Do not be mistaken, it's not like i have an estranged relationship with dad. i love him. our relationship improved over the years when he started sending me to school in college. then it took a dive for some reason, and it took me some time to find his place in my life and continue loving him. to love him despite he is not the dad i want him to be, to love him for who he is, to love him despite the pain and disappointments- and of course i am sure i deal him with blows that i have been oblivious to.. but recently i have been really tired. Time and again the limits are tested and i almost felt i have had enough.. i want to give up...

In some ways, yesterday's sermon came as His gentle and timely rebuke to me... "Honour your parents" is the fifth commandment, the first law for relationships among man, and the only one that comes with a promise.

Give unto them the honour that is due to them- not based on merit, but the simple fact that they are my parents. Give unto them the honor because they are His physical life-giving agents & care-givers to me on earth. Give unto them honor because that is pleasing to the Lord. Love them because He is love and love always hopes and never gives up. Love them because they love me- even though they may express so differently. Love them because i know i want so much to... Love them and give them my time...

Dear Jesus, please let me not fail you by making mum and dad feel that they have lost me to You. Because i know this is not what you desire at all. Help me to love them even more because i am in You, so that they may see Your love for them through me. Knit together our broken hearts and never cease hoping in You that one day You will make all things new.