Blog Mantra

Much has been said and done about blogging. Academic papers have even arisen out of it. Blog purists have also publicly lash out at what they conceive to be anti-blog culture. Someone also said in an interview that he wont ever blog because life is no longer his own when he starts living his life thinking “if this would make a good blog entrée?”

This blogger has also for long struggled with the self-centered nature of blogging. Is it out of pride and showmanship that I write this and that, or the pre-occupation to be heard and seen? And this potentially destructive self-awareness has also led me to delete many entrees that I have written. When the entrée births out of “I am going to blog this”, it usually never makes it to the posting. I would spend time typing furiously and in fit of self-disappointment, undo everything.

So what determines what comes round here, why should I blog when I have a journal and what is the point of you reading this? I seek desperately to know why I do what I do, so hear my blog mantra:

This is an outlet for my unfulfilled dream to be a journalist/writer. So herein you’ll find some thoughts that desires to be shared. About the world, about relationships, about people, about everything and anything under the sun. This is my speaker’s corner. You'll hear my rants and raves and whines and complaints, and things I will never get to say out loud.
Sorry I really love to write, and I want my writings to be published. It’ll never make it to printed media, so this is my best alternative heh. But honestly, the readership is so pathetically restricted that it puts this purpose to shame. Yes, this blog is my selfish imposition on you. Me me me! Heh.

But here also, it’s me piecing ‘me’ together. The multiple identities I have, the split personalities that may have driven you nuts by now. The lady who desires to experience the passions of life and always be in the moment, also the girl who seeks only the pleasure of those around her, the idealist hoping for world peace & total equity for the human race, the stubborn non-conformist of man’s expectations who may act on prideful deliberations, yet also the helpless pragmatist who may be tempted settle for the lesser dream for practicalities, very evidently the confused being who doesn’t quite know herself.
So in a way, it’s my desperate attempt to collect parts of me, and for people close to my heart to know me- or rather parts of me that may never arise in my limited interactions with you. And perhaps, confuse you even more about who I am. Haha, but yes, in a weird way this blog is for our friendship, us.

I pray you’ll also see here, the testimony of a struggling Christian. That as you read my blog, you see how ugly I can be- so you know that first and foremost the Christian is a sinner, and not some hol(e)y-moly goody-two-shoes according to the common fallacy. :p And as you are sometimes bewildered at the Person I am addressing, you will contemplate His existence and presence- because I know for sure He is true and living and He loves you. Yes, so this blog is also for you.
I love you who are reading this, and hope you have the best Gift I hope to give to you. To remind you who know Jesus, to remember Him. To you who have yet to know Him, to consider God who became a man, died on the cross and lived again for you.

And if the above is true, and this horrible weakling can so graciously testify to Love. Then, let this blog be also for Jesus- my skillful Potter, loving Shepherd, sacrificial Lamb and returning King, my Lord my God! Amen.