Last Pregnancy Post? :)

“How are you feeling?” I’ve often been asked throughout the pregnancy. I never know how much people really want to know, and what they expect to hear.

Did they want to hear about my morning sickness, puking and heartburn in the first trimester?

Were they “satisfied” with my “it’s going as well as it could be” response?

Was it too much information to tell them about my hemorrhoids, body aches and sleepless nights this past week?

And judging from their laughter, I guess these few analogies hit home-run...

“I’m stomping around like an elephant and waddling around like a duck”

“I’m competing with the snail here…”

I’m quite content if the conversation about my pregnancy just ends there. But sometimes, the envelope is pushed and I can tell from my shorter fuse that I’m gradually losing my humor about the situation. So bear with me as I air some of the mental conversations that I do not always articulate –

1. The second baby does not always come faster. I had to induce Mya at 37 weeks, so by all standards, this little one is “later” already. And I do not want to have any false hopes for the labor, though I pray that it’ll be smooth and fast. I had been 4cm dilated for 2 weeks, and now I am 5 cm dilated. The baby could come anytime, or not till next week.
2. Some may wonder about our decision to induce. But I am really really really glad that we decided to induce next Wednesday (ie. 27^th, 3 days before the due date on the 30^th). Coz you know, the due date does not mean anything, and the baby could well come past the due date. I think I would be a lot more impatient and go crazy if I did not have a “concrete end date” in sight at this point.
3. I am huge, the largest I’ve been and will be hopefully – I did not go this far in my pregnancy with Mya. So yes, I don’t just look like I am ready to pop; I am ready to pop. I have been for the past month. But the timing is not up to me is it? All I can do is to trust God’s timing.  
4. As for “feeling something/contractions”, does that matter? I’m still not in labor.

Sigh I have been such a whiney mommy this time around, and it will totally be my fault if I have a whiney baby. In any case, we’re in the home stretch now. I’m mentally prepared for Wednesday afternoon’s induction, and am feeling a lot less impatient. Maybe because most of my mental energy is now diverted to dealing with the incisions made to remove the blood clots from my hemorrhoids.

What an irony that I am counting so little of my blessings for a relatively smooth pregnancy this time around. Lord forgive me! Though, any day/moment earlier will be a bonus/ grace – Let Your will be done!