Finishing Well

For all my prayers for all the students to “finish well and strong this semester”, I did not hold up my end of the equation. The semester is over, but my terrible attitude still haunts me.

Sure, I was tired. After writing 14 pages, I was about done with my paper. I edited the paper once through, and could bear to read it no more. So I turned it in with a bunch of embarrassing mistakes- 5 days ahead of the deadline. Even the professor came back with “your proof-reading was not as good as the first time”. OUCH.
Why could I not have waited and re-read it 3 days later, and I am sure I could have spotted and fixed the errors?!

Sure, I was ready to be done. I want to get over the test, that’s all that mattered. So I could not be bothered to read through my notes once more, nor go over my answers again before submitting the answers. And there! With 35 minutes on the clock, I submitted the test. 9 mistakes out of 60. I’m not sure if I would have answered any of them differently, I might have.
But what eats me is that- I could have put in more effort: review the notes one more time, review all my answers once through- why didn’t I?!

It makes it all the harder, when I loved the classes, and to not put in that last ounce of effort to finish well? ARGH!!!
It’s not so much the grades that agonize me.
It’s knowing that I could have done better, and did not.
It’s knowing that my impatience caused me to fail to honor the class, the professor and God (!!) the way they deserved.
It’s regret that is teaching me this painful lesson now.

The fruit is for God to give, but as long as I have done my duty to plant and water, I have no regrets.
God taught me half of the equation last time around- to leave the results to Him and not personalize every success or failure.
I guess it’s time to learn the second half of the equation- to be faithful in whatever I do, no matter the circumstance. Planting, watering or sowing- do it all for His glory. Gotta have perspective and patience!

Nevertheless, thank You Lord for all that You’ve taught me this semester, thank You for this break, and thank You for the semester to come.

Till then, Summer holidays, here I come!